Hit on by friends husband

[Anonymous]

I question why the "friend" was left with the impression that a "connection" had been made and that his phone call would be welcome. There's more to the story...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

OP here, I'm not a novice to being hit on and his intent was perfectly clear.

Well, now you just sound like a conceited bitch. I agree with the fact that ANY NORMAL person would take his intention for what it was - but you don't need to add the part about not being a novice on being hit on - now you take away from your credibility.

Thanks so much! I've been single for 15 years and my professional career puts me at many conferences where the majority of attendees are male. Getting hit on is, sadly, par for the course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

Meh. A friendly connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks so much! I've been single for 15 years and my professional career puts me at many conferences where the majority of attendees are male. Getting hit on is, sadly, par for the course.

There are women in your position lamenting not being hit on.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why some people are being rude to OP.
OP, tell her the truth of what was said and let her know you didn't want to have dinner with him without her there, but don't offer her your interpretation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some people are being rude to OP.
OP, tell her the truth of what was said and let her know you didn't want to have dinner with him without her there, but don't offer her your interpretation.

OP here, thanks. I think I will tell here that he called and asked me to dinner but that I was uncomfortable about it without her being there and add maybe I'm a bit old fashioned. I will keep it short and sweet so the topic of getting together doesn't come up. She's a very nice person and I feel sorry for her.

I'm clueless as to why people have a need to be rude. Maybe they were dropped at birth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

Meh. A friendly connection.

Yeah, okay! And monkeys fly out of my butt!

I think what you said you're going to do is reasonable. If he's this brazen, she likely has an idea of what he is like. Maybe he's done some other douchey things before--but that's between the two of them. My main worry would be preserving my own reputation and not letting him put this on me.

[Anonymous]

OP, do tell her the truth, without embellishment, and include his line about the connection. She deserves to know the truth and the fact that she reached out means she's already concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

OP here, I'm not a novice to being hit on and his intent was perfectly clear.

Well, now you just sound like a conceited bitch. I agree with the fact that ANY NORMAL person would take his intention for what it was - but you don't need to add the part about not being a novice on being hit on - now you take away from your credibility.

Thanks so much! I've been single for 15 years and my professional career puts me at many conferences where the majority of attendees are male. Getting hit on is, sadly, par for the course.

That may be absolutely true - and you could be hot as hell - but, still - having to throw that out there - doesn't really add to your point - and does take away from your credibility... single for 15 years? Not that you have to be in a relationship by any means - but is this a personal choice? consequence of traveling for work a lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm single female and about to turn 50 and I'm considered to be quite attractive. I'm friends with a couple in their late 50's. We are not extremely close but socialize a few times a year for the last 7-10 years so we know each other quite well. Recently the wife was out of town and the husband called me to invite me to dinner. I was surprised by the call given that we are not close friends so I was politely trying to say no when he said "But I really thought there was a connection between us." That's when my radar went off and i quickly said thanks but no thanks. A few days ago I got a voice mail from his wife wanting to know about this dinner thing with her husband. He must have said something to her out of concern that I would rat him out. How do I respond?

I'm close friends with another couple and the wife is away a lot in the winter and she encourages me to have dinner with her DH once in a while so he has a decent meal. He's a great guy who adores his wife and most of our conversation is about her, their kids and now their grandkids. Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Why are some women shrews and others are wonderful women?

Why do some women put out and others don't? That's likely your answer.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, okay! And monkeys fly out of my butt!

I think what you said you're going to do is reasonable. If he's this brazen, she likely has an idea of what he is like. Maybe he's done some other douchey things before--but that's between the two of them. My main worry would be preserving my own reputation and not letting him put this on me.

LOL. It's not monkeys coming out of your butt. It's called...

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go into specific details w/the wife.
I would just acknowledge that yes, her husband did extend a dinner invite to you, yet you declined.

Leave it at that.

If she seems suspicious about YOUR motives, then it is highly likely her husband told her it was you who hit on him.
If that is the case, I say rat him out then.

Either way, from today forward it is in everyone's best interest if you all stop socializing altogether for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

Male here.

I believe OP.

We're delusional about our chances, but also know you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

I'm sure he was casting his bread upon the waters to see what would happen.

That said, I wouldn't tattle. Accept the compliment and laugh behind his back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

OP here, I'm not a novice to being hit on and his intent was perfectly clear.

Well, now you just sound like a conceited bitch. I agree with the fact that ANY NORMAL person would take his intention for what it was - but you don't need to add the part about not being a novice on being hit on - now you take away from your credibility.[/quote

Thanks so much! I've been single for 15 years and my professional career puts me at many conferences where the majority of attendees are male. Getting hit on is, sadly, par for the course.

That may be absolutely true - and you could be hot as hell - but, still - having to throw that out there - doesn't really add to your point - and does take away from your credibility... single for 15 years? Not that you have to be in a relationship by any means - but is this a personal choice? consequence of traveling for work a lot?

I agree with OP. "Novices" like me might not get what some guy really means especially if its a friend you've known for a lot of years. We are more prone to have our radar on with strangers, but not friends. I've been married 27 years and might be a bit naive. I think OP has a lot of credibility because she has faced this in her career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you assuming sleazeball intent here?

Maybe he just wanted company for dinner and that's all.

Uh... learn to read.

When she tried to say no - he then said, but I thought we had a connection.

Good lord.

OP here, I'm not a novice to being hit on and his intent was perfectly clear.

Well, now you just sound like a conceited bitch. I agree with the fact that ANY NORMAL person would take his intention for what it was - but you don't need to add the part about not being a novice on being hit on - now you take away from your credibility.

Thanks so much! I've been single for 15 years and my professional career puts me at many conferences where the majority of attendees are male. Getting hit on is, sadly, par for the course.

That may be absolutely true - and you could be hot as hell - but, still - having to throw that out there - doesn't really add to your point - and does take away from your credibility... single for 15 years? Not that you have to be in a relationship by any means - but is this a personal choice? consequence of traveling for work a lot?

OP here - being single has not been a personal choice. I am a widow and just haven't found the right man. I didn't say I was a widow upfront because I didn't want anyone's sympathy. (Friends husband hits on widow!) I raised three kids mostly on my own and worked very hard to support them. I've been an empty nester for the last five years. If you're a man, you are a good example of why I'm still single. If you are a woman you need to take a chill pill.