Addressing children kicking seatback on airplane

[Anonymous]

I don't want to start a debate about children on planes. I have no problem with them. I know sometimes babies will cry and children will be a bit loud. Totally fine.

What I am wondering is how to address a child kicking / pushing against the back of your seat repeatedly throughout the flight. Should I speak to the parent or the child (this one appeared to be about 9?) I did not say anything because I was torn between asking the girl politely or communicating with the parent. As a parent how would you prefer this conversation go ?

[Anonymous]

I would address it with the parent not the child.

[Anonymous]

Definitely the parent. I've said "would you mind asking him to stop kicking the seat, it's really bothering me," in a pleasant voice with a smile. The parent didn't look happy, but the kid stopped kicking.

[Anonymous]

If the parent were sitting next to the child, I'd just spin around and politely ask the kid to please stop kicking/shoving/pushing on your chair.

Don't expect it to go well, though. If a parent is allowing their NINE year old to do this on a flight, I guarantee you they're out to lunch.

Any push back (pun intended) from the parent and I'd just involve the flight attendant, who are trained to handle situations like this.

[Anonymous]

Just turn around and say politely "could I ask you to stop kicking the seat, please? Thank you." Address both the child and the parent. If it continues, address the parent.

I'm big on just being kind and understanding, but direct.

[Anonymous]

I did once address this and I addressed the parent. I just said "could you please ask your daughter to stop kicking the seat?". Parent had not tried to stop it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the parent were sitting next to the child, I'd just spin around and politely ask the kid to please stop kicking/shoving/pushing on your chair.

Don't expect it to go well, though. If a parent is allowing their NINE year old to do this on a flight, I guarantee you they're out to lunch.

Any push back (pun intended) from the parent and I'd just involve the flight attendant, who are trained to handle situations like this.

My kid is only 5, and I've never actually allowed him to kick a seat. But I've been distracted, or just plain spacey, and not registered what he was doing. I'm not saying that's great of me. But I am saying I wasn't offended in the least when the person in front of us at the theater turned around and nicely told us to cut it out.

I actually think it will go well 99% of the time...If you're nice.

[Anonymous]

PP here...it actually went fine in my case

[Anonymous]

Definitely the parent. My kid was kicking the seat once and I did not realize it. The person was pretty ticked off about it, too, but did ask me to deal with the problem and I did. It was a reasonable request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turn around and say politely "could I ask you to stop kicking the seat, please? Thank you." Address both the child and the parent. If it continues, address the parent.

I'm big on just being kind and understanding, but direct.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the parent were sitting next to the child, I'd just spin around and politely ask the kid to please stop kicking/shoving/pushing on your chair.

Don't expect it to go well, though. If a parent is allowing their NINE year old to do this on a flight, I guarantee you they're out to lunch.

Any push back (pun intended) from the parent and I'd just involve the flight attendant, who are trained to handle situations like this.

Anyone who lets their kid do this is inconsiderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turn around and say politely "could I ask you to stop kicking the seat, please? Thank you." Address both the child and the parent. If it continues, address the parent.

I'm big on just being kind and understanding, but direct.

OP here. Thanks for all the answers, especially this post with phrasing- I will use that if this happens again.

Writing this made me recall a particularly bad experience a few years ago- on a long international flight, a mom was traveling with her toddler, who she left in the middle seat with her taking the window (me in the aisle). He repeatedly kicked me, flailing around, while she played on her phone. I should have said something but ended up hanging out in the back of the plane by the restrooms for a good portion of the flight.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the stewardess if she had a seat open because of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the stewardess if she had a seat open because of the problem.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT. this isn't 1960 lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the stewardess if she had a seat open because of the problem.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT. this isn't 1960 lady

Looks like PP hasn't been on a flight since then. Open seats on an airplane!? They're all over booked.