Addressing children kicking seatback on airplane

[Anonymous]

Speak politely to the parent. Chances are they don't realize it is happening and, for sure, no matter the age of the child, they don't fully understand that what is in front of them is attached to your body because they can't see you (until they are told repeatedly or are allowed to explore the whole situation in an inappropriately tactile way). That's how kids' brains work. Same with booths at restaurants.

You notice it more than they do, so you do need to mention it.

[Anonymous]

I think it's really awkward to speak directly to the parent about the child who's right in front of you - "hey Susie, would you mind telling Julie (who's right in front of us - hi Julie!) not to kick my chair? Thank you!"

Here's what I've said - "Hi there! I'm sitting in this seat right in front of you and when you kick and push the back of my seat, I feel it! Thanks for being more careful." The parents who let their kids kick, wack, and shove on planes generally look exhausted and don't seem up for a game of telephone. I've never had some one respond badly to me politely and clearly asking their child to stop hurting me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really awkward to speak directly to the parent about the child who's right in front of you - "hey Susie, would you mind telling Julie (who's right in front of us - hi Julie!) not to kick my chair? Thank you!"

Here's what I've said - "Hi there! I'm sitting in this seat right in front of you and when you kick and push the back of my seat, I feel it! Thanks for being more careful." The parents who let their kids kick, wack, and shove on planes generally look exhausted and don't seem up for a game of telephone. I've never had some one respond badly to me politely and clearly asking their child to stop hurting me.

Not sure about this. I was always taught that if you are addressing a child's behavior and the parent is right there, you engage the parent and allow them to address the issue with their own child. I have only had one issue like this with my own kid and I told the gentleman to address any issues with my child to me - since I was 5 feet away at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parent were sitting next to the child, I'd just spin around and politely ask the kid to please stop kicking/shoving/pushing on your chair.

Don't expect it to go well, though. If a parent is allowing their NINE year old to do this on a flight, I guarantee you they're out to lunch.

Any push back (pun intended) from the parent and I'd just involve the flight attendant, who are trained to handle situations like this.

My kid is only 5, and I've never actually allowed him to kick a seat. But I've been distracted, or just plain spacey, and not registered what he was doing. I'm not saying that's great of me. But I am saying I wasn't offended in the least when the person in front of us at the theater turned around and nicely told us to cut it out.

I actually think it will go well 99% of the time...If you're nice.

Right. Kid's been kicking passenger's seat for the past hour, with parent not doing anything. And passenger's supposed to be nice. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Right. Kid's been kicking passenger's seat for the past hour, with parent not doing anything. And passenger's supposed to be nice. Give me a break.

We can argue about whether Kickster and Parent are entitled to politeness, but the fact is that if you want results, polite but firm is more likely to get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Right. Kid's been kicking passenger's seat for the past hour, with parent not doing anything. And passenger's supposed to be nice. Give me a break.

We can argue about whether Kickster and Parent are entitled to politeness, but the fact is that if you want results, polite but firm is more likely to get them.

Also, don't put up with it for an hour; by then, you will be more likely to phrase things less than politely. Best to speak up a lot more quickly than that, when you aren't bad-tempered.

[Anonymous]

If my kid was 9 and doing this and I somehow didn't notice I would be fine with you addressing them politely and respectfully the way you would speak with an adult. They likely don't realize you can feel it and that it's annoying. If it keeps up, consider speaking with the parents or flight attendant, but sometimes kids need to hear the rule from someone other than a parent .

[Anonymous]

It's tough to fly with kids! The kids put their feet on the seat not to be annoying most of the time, but because they are too short and their feet don't touch the ground. Then their parents give them toys to play with that often involve the tray table and it turns out the people in front of them can feel the tray table. And, you're giving them this stuff to do because people complain if they are too noisy! Ha.

Once someone in front of us asked me/my kid to stop kicking. The kid wasn't kicking but I guess doing something with the tray table that I didn't realize she could feel. I am a non confrontational person and I suppose I would have been annoyed at anyone who asked me or my kid to stop. We were not trying to be discourteous in the first place. I just said - oh sorry and then freaked out the rest of the trip any time my child moved an inch.

[Anonymous]

For a 9 year old I would address the kid first (and likely the parents would hear anyways). For a smaller kid, I'd ask the parents. We recently flew with our 4.5 year old and I would have to remind him to keep his legs still because he's just tall enough where his foot would hit the bottom of the chair in front of him if he was too wiggly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Right. Kid's been kicking passenger's seat for the past hour, with parent not doing anything. And passenger's supposed to be nice. Give me a break.

We can argue about whether Kickster and Parent are entitled to politeness, but the fact is that if you want results, polite but firm is more likely to get them.

Oh, I agree with polite, but firm. Not PP's requirement: . . . If you're nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's tough to fly with kids! The kids put their feet on the seat not to be annoying most of the time, but because they are too short and their feet don't touch the ground. Then their parents give them toys to play with that often involve the tray table and it turns out the people in front of them can feel the tray table. And, you're giving them this stuff to do because people complain if they are too noisy! Ha.

Once someone in front of us asked me/my kid to stop kicking. The kid wasn't kicking but I guess doing something with the tray table that I didn't realize she could feel. I am a non confrontational person and I suppose I would have been annoyed at anyone who asked me or my kid to stop. We were not trying to be discourteous in the first place. I just said - oh sorry and then freaked out the rest of the trip any time my child moved an inch.

Huh? YOU would be annoyed at anyone who asked you or your kid to stop. Wow, you are a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough to fly with kids! The kids put their feet on the seat not to be annoying most of the time, but because they are too short and their feet don't touch the ground. Then their parents give them toys to play with that often involve the tray table and it turns out the people in front of them can feel the tray table. And, you're giving them this stuff to do because people complain if they are too noisy! Ha.

Once someone in front of us asked me/my kid to stop kicking. The kid wasn't kicking but I guess doing something with the tray table that I didn't realize she could feel. I am a non confrontational person and I suppose I would have been annoyed at anyone who asked me or my kid to stop. We were not trying to be discourteous in the first place. I just said - oh sorry and then freaked out the rest of the trip any time my child moved an inch.

Huh? YOU would be annoyed at anyone who asked you or your kid to stop. Wow, you are a piece of work.

Yes, because we were trying not to bother them in the first place so I felt pressure like anything we do will bother you and I wanted to get off the flight ASAP. I didn't say anything to them, other than "oh, sorry!" I wasn't like - F U! If the latter, then you could say I'm a piece of work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough to fly with kids! The kids put their feet on the seat not to be annoying most of the time, but because they are too short and their feet don't touch the ground. Then their parents give them toys to play with that often involve the tray table and it turns out the people in front of them can feel the tray table. And, you're giving them this stuff to do because people complain if they are too noisy! Ha.

Once someone in front of us asked me/my kid to stop kicking. The kid wasn't kicking but I guess doing something with the tray table that I didn't realize she could feel. I am a non confrontational person and I suppose I would have been annoyed at anyone who asked me or my kid to stop. We were not trying to be discourteous in the first place. I just said - oh sorry and then freaked out the rest of the trip any time my child moved an inch.

Huh? YOU would be annoyed at anyone who asked you or your kid to stop. Wow, you are a piece of work.

Yes, because we were trying not to bother them in the first place so I felt pressure like anything we do will bother you and I wanted to get off the flight ASAP. I didn't say anything to them, other than "oh, sorry!" I wasn't like - F U! If the latter, then you could say I'm a piece of work

So passenger paying the same amount of you should sit silently while kid behind is bothering him/her so you (the parent) doesn't feel pressure. Get outta here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the stewardess if she had a seat open because of the problem.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT. this isn't 1960 lady

Looks like PP hasn't been on a flight since then. Open seats on an airplane!? They're all over booked.

Not our last several trips on SW. 4 of us traveling (me, DH, 2 kids) and we got two full rows both times (middle seats empty).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the stewardess if she had a seat open because of the problem.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT. this isn't 1960 lady

Looks like PP hasn't been on a flight since then. Open seats on an airplane!? They're all over booked.

Not our last several trips on SW. 4 of us traveling (me, DH, 2 kids) and we got two full rows both times (middle seats empty).

NP. I have found that domestic flights tend to be very full but international flights do not. Of course YMMV.