Moving from private to public-Hold back a year or not?
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Anonymous
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Hi. DS is 6 and in first grade at a private school. However, his birthday falls after the public school cutoff date, and he would currently be in kindergarten if he were at public school. We've just been informed that his current private school is dramatically increasing their tuition for the 2017-2018 next year, and it is no longer financially feasibly for us to continue sending him there. The reason we have not sent DS to public school is that while he is doing fine academically (actually ahead of his current first grade level), his social skills are still developing and behind others of his age (he is currently attending social skills classes with an occupational therapist).
Our school district is actually very good and highly ranked, and I have no problem with public school. However, we are trying to decide whether we should consider having him enter public school in second grade, according to his academic progression (and where he would be one of the youngest students), or have him enter public school as a first grader, where he would be based on his birthdate. We are worried that if he put him in second grade, he may struggle with being one of the youngest (although he is big for his age) and having lower social skills, and we are worried that if we put him in first grade, he will be bored academically and make a big deal out of having to repeat first grade again, although he may be more socially on part with his classmates. In addition, if we put DS in second grade, he would end up being four years ahead of his younger sister at school, when she is only three years and one month younger than him, which doesn't seem right. What would you do in this situation? |
Anonymous
| I'd put him in the grade that his age matches. He might be bored with some of the work, but you can supplement at home, and he can work on his social skills at school. |
Anonymous
| I'd send him to 2nd. We did that switch this year. Child is complaining about the classwork as much of it he did in 1st. Socially it has been very good for him to be the youngest. Every child is different but unless you have a reason, why hold him back. It was a huge change for the first few weeks but they paired my child with another who guided him the first few days, which was great. I can't imagine holding him back this year. |
Anonymous
| I would definitely put him in 2nd grade. If you already have him in social skills class that is the type of intensive social instruction he needs. He's not going to get that just by being with younger students. Don't underestimate being bored academically. If he's bored his social issues may be worse. |
Anonymous
I meant to add, I am a former elementary teacher |
Anonymous
| I would ask his current school what they recommend and also find out from the public school if holding back is even possible. |
Anonymous
| everyone is saying OP would be holding back, but she would merely be putting him in the grade with other kids his age because his birthday falls AFTER the cut off date in public school. |
Anonymous
| If the public school is in Virginia, holding back may not be possible if he's currently doing well in 1st grade. Check with the school! |
Anonymous
Agree that you should check. It may not be up to you at all. Even if there is the option within the regulations to have your child repeat a grade, it is likely that the decision will be made by the principal of the school. |
Anonymous
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Social skills aside, if academically he is doing well then putting him back is basically punishment because he will be bored for sure.
His social skills will develop at his own pace, regardless of the grade he is put in. Putting him back won't help that in any way. The public schools have a huge range of ages across each grade. My DD is in 4th and a friend of hers is 21 months older. Granted my DD is the youngest in the grade and the friend the oldest, but it gives you a sense of the entire range. |
Anonymous
| I'd put him in the grade that his age range falls in. Maybe his social problems are because hes too immature for the grade he's in. I have a 5th grader and having social skill problems is a much bigger problem than academic problems. Doesn't matter how great he does academically, if he feels like nobody likes him and feels crappy about himself, nothing else will fall in place. Kids dont get kinder as they get older, quite the opposite. At this age, developing social skills trump everything. |
Anonymous
And there will be older kids since many people redshirt. I'd ask his teacher. |
Anonymous
+1 I would have him continue on his current track. Just curious -- what's wrong with his social skills? |
Anonymous
Aldo if he gets into sports he will be at a HUGE physical disadvantage being a solid year (or more) younger than his team mates. |
Anonymous
Sports often go by age not grade, so this post makes no sense. My child swims and its all by age. Its actually an advantage. |