Moving from private to public-Hold back a year or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:everyone is saying OP would be holding back, but she would merely be putting him in the grade with other kids his age because his birthday falls AFTER the cut off date in public school.

And there will be older kids since many people redshirt. I'd ask his teacher.

Aldo if he gets into sports he will be at a HUGE physical disadvantage being a solid year (or more) younger than his team mates.

Sports often go by age not grade, so this post makes no sense. My child swims and its all by age. Its actually an advantage.

Not true. Many leagues go by grade and if you end up in middle/HS sports its certainly by grade.

People don't redshirt for shits and grins. In sports it's to gain the system. It is actually really really really aggrevating. I say this as a mom of a child with a July birthday. He's in 5th grade and all of the travel lacrosse leagues and travel bball leagues are done by graduating HS year (up and down the east coast) so he's on the 2024 team. Not cool when he's 10, competing against kids nearly 12, headed into puberty and still in the 5th grade.

Our local rec league is by age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:everyone is saying OP would be holding back, but she would merely be putting him in the grade with other kids his age because his birthday falls AFTER the cut off date in public school.

And there will be older kids since many people redshirt. I'd ask his teacher.

Aldo if he gets into sports he will be at a HUGE physical disadvantage being a solid year (or more) younger than his team mates.

Sports often go by age not grade, so this post makes no sense. My child swims and its all by age. Its actually an advantage.

Not true. Many leagues go by grade and if you end up in middle/HS sports its certainly by grade.

People don't redshirt for shits and grins. In sports it's to gain the system. It is actually really really really aggrevating. I say this as a mom of a child with a July birthday. He's in 5th grade and all of the travel lacrosse leagues and travel bball leagues are done by graduating HS year (up and down the east coast) so he's on the 2024 team. Not cool when he's 10, competing against kids nearly 12, headed into puberty and still in the 5th grade.

Our local rec league is by age.

agreed! Maybe the swim parent doesn't see it because that is essentially an individual sport, but classifying kids by grade is the norm in true team sports. The size and maturity difference in kids 12-18 months apart is enormous. Forget the sports, if i were OP i would want my child with kids at his same maturity level, not kids emotionally and physically a year and a half ahead. Plenty of opportunity to push them ahead academically, but you can't push them ahead emotionally or socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:everyone is saying OP would be holding back, but she would merely be putting him in the grade with other kids his age because his birthday falls AFTER the cut off date in public school.

And there will be older kids since many people redshirt. I'd ask his teacher.

Aldo if he gets into sports he will be at a HUGE physical disadvantage being a solid year (or more) younger than his team mates.

Sports often go by age not grade, so this post makes no sense. My child swims and its all by age. Its actually an advantage.

Not true. Many leagues go by grade and if you end up in middle/HS sports its certainly by grade.

People don't redshirt for shits and grins. In sports it's to gain the system. It is actually really really really aggrevating. I say this as a mom of a child with a July birthday. He's in 5th grade and all of the travel lacrosse leagues and travel bball leagues are done by graduating HS year (up and down the east coast) so he's on the 2024 team. Not cool when he's 10, competing against kids nearly 12, headed into puberty and still in the 5th grade.

Our local rec league is by age.

I care far more about my child's academics than sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:everyone is saying OP would be holding back, but she would merely be putting him in the grade with other kids his age because his birthday falls AFTER the cut off date in public school.

And there will be older kids since many people redshirt. I'd ask his teacher.

Aldo if he gets into sports he will be at a HUGE physical disadvantage being a solid year (or more) younger than his team mates.

Sports often go by age not grade, so this post makes no sense. My child swims and its all by age. Its actually an advantage.

Not true. Many leagues go by grade and if you end up in middle/HS sports its certainly by grade.

People don't redshirt for shits and grins. In sports it's to gain the system. It is actually really really really aggrevating. I say this as a mom of a child with a July birthday. He's in 5th grade and all of the travel lacrosse leagues and travel bball leagues are done by graduating HS year (up and down the east coast) so he's on the 2024 team. Not cool when he's 10, competing against kids nearly 12, headed into puberty and still in the 5th grade.

Our local rec league is by age.

agreed! Maybe the swim parent doesn't see it because that is essentially an individual sport, but classifying kids by grade is the norm in true team sports. The size and maturity difference in kids 12-18 months apart is enormous. Forget the sports, if i were OP i would want my child with kids at his same maturity level, not kids emotionally and physically a year and a half ahead. Plenty of opportunity to push them ahead academically, but you can't push them ahead emotionally or socially.

We are at a public and there is no extra teaching and no opportunity to push them ahead in less you tutor them. When you hold a kid back, they will behave like a younger child. When you have them the youngest, many will act that way. We've tried it both ways and being the youngest was far better.

[Anonymous]

As an earlu elementary ed teacher, I think that at that young age, learning appropriate social skills is of paramount importance. If the child is indeed academically and intellectually gifted then he/she can easily be moved into the GT program or wven a magnet school.

This child alreads sounds socially behind, I would not advise on advancing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely put him in 2nd grade. If you already have him in social skills class that is the type of intensive social instruction he needs. He's not going to get that just by being with younger students. Don't underestimate being bored academically. If he's bored his social issues may be worse.

I meant to add, I am a former elementary teacher

+1

I would have him continue on his current track. Just curious -- what's wrong with his social skills?

OP here. His social issues involve not picking up social cues from others very well, talking too loudly, and not being aware of his physicality in the space around him (e.g., will stand way too close to strangers). He has good levels of empathy and emotional regulation, though.

It seems that the commenters are fairly evenly split on the matter. I am going to contact the school district to see whether I even have a choice, but I am leaning towards sending him to second grade, if possible. I am worried that his social issues may be worse if he's bored academically, based on what we've seen with him in the past. If he is 18 months or so younger than people he might play sports with, that just isn't a huge deal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely put him in 2nd grade. If you already have him in social skills class that is the type of intensive social instruction he needs. He's not going to get that just by being with younger students. Don't underestimate being bored academically. If he's bored his social issues may be worse.

I meant to add, I am a former elementary teacher

+1

I would have him continue on his current track. Just curious -- what's wrong with his social skills?

OP here. His social issues involve not picking up social cues from others very well, talking too loudly, and not being aware of his physicality in the space around him (e.g., will stand way too close to strangers). He has good levels of empathy and emotional regulation, though.

It seems that the commenters are fairly evenly split on the matter. I am going to contact the school district to see whether I even have a choice, but I am leaning towards sending him to second grade, if possible. I am worried that his social issues may be worse if he's bored academically, based on what we've seen with him in the past. If he is 18 months or so younger than people he might play sports with, that just isn't a huge deal to me.

PP here. Ask his current teacher for her opinion, as well. A lot of six/seven year olds stand to close to strangers, talk too loudly, so, keep that in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:everyone is saying OP would be holding back, but she would merely be putting him in the grade with other kids his age because his birthday falls AFTER the cut off date in public school.

But he would repeat first grade. That is holding him back. I would check in with his teacher and probably send him to second grade.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the target school and discuss where he is academically and the program at the new school looks like. Chances are, reading and writing will be tailored to his level anyway, math depend on how and whether they differentiate at this grade and where your child is relative to the new school's curriculum (they may not align and you never know which way that goes). As for other social studies track between the two schools at all so everything there will probably be new.

This also allows you to get a feel for the social dynamics between the two grades (sometimes a class is mature and skews old or is immature and skews young). My DC was in a class of relatively immature for age kids while the grade a above was very mature for age, so that the gap between them was larger than normal. Only the school can tell you what these two classes are like. Also they may have an opinion based on class personalities which will be a better fit for your child.

[Anonymous]

^^sorry for all the typos! *science and social studies*

[Anonymous]

Talk to the school and find out your options. Then ask the opinion of his current teacher and the school he would be going to in terms of their experience with this kind of thing. Then you will have to do what you think will be best based on knowing your kid. I wonder if you might also be able to start him in second grade and see how things go, and if they don't go well after a period of time, move him down before the school year gets to far in.

I have a kid (6th grade) who is young for his age and also young on his sports teams. But he has always been mature and advanced so it has never been an issue for him.

[Anonymous]

I would move him NOW to public school kindergarten. Those social skills issues are what kindergarteners are working on. Your child is not socially ready for second grade.

[Anonymous]

I was devastated, but moved my kid from private to public and was shocked to find them behind academically. This was in 4th grade, it took a year of tutors to catch-up. Mu child, in private was doing well, so i thought.

[Anonymous]

I would not put him in second grade. Social stuff for boys is really hard. I don't know why anyone would intentionally want to be the youngest boy in the class

[Anonymous]

What month is his birthday?

December? Put him in the correct grade for his age.

September? Ask your current teachers.