Brother's wife is dying
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Brother and I have been estranged for many years and I cannot remember the last time we spoke. He and his wife have seen my 10YO maybe five times in that DC's life and first met 8YO when that DC was 2. They have been married a long time and she is a nice person but we were never close. They have always lived on the east coast (not near DC) but frequently travel to visit her family, which means for the past four years they have had to pass DC both ways when driving to her family.
She is in hospice care now and will soon pass. I expect they would bury her or have a memorial service where her family lives, which is about 3 hours away. I am sorry for the loss of his life partner but not sure what I am expected to do. Is it proper etiquette/required to show up for the service? They would not miss me. Is it OK for me to just send him a card? |
Anonymous
| Do you want to have any kind of relationship with him going forward? |
Anonymous
| Why haven't you spoken? Just drifted apart or something bad happened? |
Anonymous
| Go. |
Anonymous
|
PP^ here- hit submit before I addedd..
I've never regretted attending a funeral or memorial service, but I have regretted not attending one, even if I'm not close to the honoree. |
Anonymous
|
Depends on why you are estranged, and whether you ever want to have any sort of relationship again.
Anyone that didn't show up for me during this type of awful life changing event would be dead to me. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
|
I would go. My mother, who has been part of a bitter intergenerational family feud for more than a quarter century, would go to any of her estranged relatives' funerals, or their loved ones'. Some things transcend earthly grievances.
|
Anonymous
| My SIL is a bitch so no I wouldn't go, but if yours in any insane like mine of course you go. |
Anonymous
+2 It shows support, love, and caring even though your relationship has been estranged. You're family after all |
Anonymous
| You go. This is your brother. |
Anonymous
|
Always go to the funeral.
http://www.npr.org/2005/08/08/4785079/always-go-to-the-funeral |
Anonymous
|
OP here. Wow, that is really a consensus. Message received.
Thank you all. |
Anonymous
\ Honestly, I'm surprised you even questioned it. It should've been a no-brainer. |
Anonymous
| I would go |