While I'm sleeping..
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Anonymous
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My DH has been pleasuring himself in our bed in the middle of the night. The very slight shaking has woken me up several times in the last month. I pretend to be asleep and haven't said anything. I don't have a problem with masturbation, it just seems like it should be done in private and it's not something we do together or really discuss. I'm not sure why this has started after 11 years either. We have sex once or twice a week.
I don't want this to turn explicit,I just want to know if this is normal? Should I confront him? |
Anonymous
| Show him that you're awake? Hop on top? |
Anonymous
| Could it be that it hasn't actually started after 11 years, but that you are starting to wake up to it after 11 years? |
Anonymous
| Hmmm it wouldn't bother me (and I'd likely let him know I was awake Simce I love middle of the night sex) . But if it bothers you, that's all that really matters. And as another PP said, he's likely been doing this for years but now you wake up to it. |
Anonymous
| My now-ex dH started doing this. He was having an affair. He became extra sexually needy once that started. |
Anonymous
| Maybe he's having a hard time sleeping and this helps him. Ask if he's got insomnia. |
Anonymous
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Male here. If you are awake why not help out? Sometimes I wake up with a middle of the night urge and if I wake my wife up she will help out, help herself out simultaneously, or initiate to full on middle of the night sex.
Odds are he is thinking about you, so you want him to go hide and only fantasize about you in private? |
TwistdMike
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Libido surge, cycle from time to time, he may be having a peak at the moment? Rather than waking you up and letting you get a full night's rest, he chose to take matters in his own hand.
If you're willing to put in the extra time, tell him in a frank, easy, loving way. If not, continue to play possum. |
Anonymous
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I thought my DH was doing this. Turns out he had raging jock itch and was vigorously scratching his balls in his sleep.
Gross. |
TwistdMike
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Well... There's that... OMG... hilarious 
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Anonymous
| Also, sex and orgasm is a great way to cure insomnia.... DW and I have both been waking up too early lately. We get it on, fall back asleep and get our best sleep in the hours afterwards |
Anonymous
] Well thats what he TOLD you was happening... Does anyone think it can happen while they are sleeping? So not fully conscious ? |
Anonymous
| DH was doing this for a while, and I also wasn't thrilled about it. He is incredibly anxious about his sleep, and it was a tool to go to sleep I think. Also, as he has some ED problems, I think it was to reassure himself (and then sleep). In light of the latter, while some say join in, that actually could be unhelpful. |
Anonymous
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If you can't even discuss masturbation with your husband and think it should only be done in private, I'm gonna guess your 1-2 times a week aren't exactly unihibited romps.
Maybe he's masturbating more after 11 years because he's fed up or bored and doesn't think discussing it with you will help. If he thinks you're asleep, he probably thinks he's doing you a favor taking care of it himself. |
Anonymous
It's not normal for you, but it's certainly normal for many other couples. If you have sex with each other, why is masturbation necessarily "private"? Your whole tone of "confronting" him sounds very off. It's fine if you're not comfortable with it, but he's not committing a crime. If you want to know what's going on, approach him with an open mind and an attitude of wanting him to be happy, not with an agenda of judging and shaming. |