Trying New Approach to Dating and Sex and It's Not Going Well..

[Anonymous]

Divorced woman , late 40's with two teenagers.... I've been dating now for three years. Mostly online but a few guys I met in real life. I have probably been out with at least 30 men. Most just first dates. A few lasted maybe a month. Two lasted three months. I have a very high sex drive and sex is very important to me in a relationship. With most men I've dated I've had sex on the second or third date. My philosophy has been that if we aren't sexually compatible I would rather find out sooner rather than later. The sex was great with the two men I dated last year for about 3 months each. By three months however when I had gotten to know them better I realized the sex was the reason I continued to date them because we really turned out to be incompatible in almost every other area.

So for 2017 I decided to take a new approach and not rush into sex. I've been dating two men now for about a month and have been seeing them once or twice a week. Just this week it started to get physical and it turns out both of them have low sex drive issues and can't currently achieve or sustain an erection. I am beyond frustrated and disappointed and am thinking I should go back to my old MO.

The men are in their late 40's/early 50's. Is the case with a lot of the men out there or am I just really unlucky!? I really like them both a lot in every other respect.

Ugh.

[Anonymous]

As a man in my 50's with a a high drive, believe it or not, I like an approach where nobody rushes into anything. Let's go out, learn more about each other, fantasize a little to build it up, and then hit it when the time is right and we can't stand to wait a minute longer.

[Anonymous]

Can't you get a decent idea from kissing, etc. what kind of partner they will be in bed? Also you may want to ask this in the explicit forum for specific suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Yes I agree that many men in 40s and 50s have these kinds of issues. I'm high drive too but I hold out just because I think it's the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man in my 50's with a a high drive, believe it or not, I like an approach where nobody rushes into anything. Let's go out, learn more about each other, fantasize a little to build it up, and then hit it when the time is right and we can't stand to wait a minute longer.

Nothing hotter than a slow burner.

[Anonymous]

viagra?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced woman , late 40's with two teenagers.... I've been dating now for three years. Mostly online but a few guys I met in real life. I have probably been out with at least 30 men. Most just first dates. A few lasted maybe a month. Two lasted three months. I have a very high sex drive and sex is very important to me in a relationship. With most men I've dated I've had sex on the second or third date. My philosophy has been that if we aren't sexually compatible I would rather find out sooner rather than later. The sex was great with the two men I dated last year for about 3 months each. By three months however when I had gotten to know them better I realized the sex was the reason I continued to date them because we really turned out to be incompatible in almost every other area.

So for 2017 I decided to take a new approach and not rush into sex. I've been dating two men now for about a month and have been seeing them once or twice a week. Just this week it started to get physical and it turns out both of them have low sex drive issues and can't currently achieve or sustain an erection. I am beyond frustrated and disappointed and am thinking I should go back to my old MO.

The men are in their late 40's/early 50's. Is the case with a lot of the men out there or am I just really unlucky!? I really like them both a lot in every other respect.

Ugh.

Are the men in good physical shape or do they have dad bod?
I am sure you are attractive and they need some help insert cialis.

[Anonymous]

Start going for upper 30s low 40s. I am 39 and there is a lates 40s divorcee with split custody of two teenagers that lived down the hall from me. Have spoken with her at length. She articulate, well traveled great career and is gorgeous. The quality of men that she brings home is laughable. All 5 to 10 years older than her and you can tell have no chance of keeping up with her.

Don't sell yourself short.

[Anonymous]

You need a younger man. Mid thirties is best

[Anonymous]

I am 53 with a high drive. I'm well-endowed and I could go three times a night until I was in my late 40s.

However, with a new woman I can get nervous and the anxiety of worrying about performing can cause problems. This occasionally happened even when I was a young guy. I even had this problem recently with a 25-year-old! I much prefer the first few times to just go downtown (I can also do that for hours) until I'm comfortable and the equipment begins to behave itself. I've considered Cialis but have never tried it. I think women want to know that they are getting me hard, not a pill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 53 with a high drive. I'm well-endowed and I could go three times a night until I was in my late 40s.

However, with a new woman I can get nervous and the anxiety of worrying about performing can cause problems. This occasionally happened even when I was a young guy. I even had this problem recently with a 25-year-old! I much prefer the first few times to just go downtown (I can also do that for hours) until I'm comfortable and the equipment begins to behave itself. I've considered Cialis but have never tried it. I think women want to know that they are getting me hard, not a pill.

You can discreetly pop a pill .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man in my 50's with a a high drive, believe it or not, I like an approach where nobody rushes into anything. Let's go out, learn more about each other, fantasize a little to build it up, and then hit it when the time is right and we can't stand to wait a minute longer.

Nothing hotter than a slow burner.

And I might add, I want a little mystery from a woman. Some enticement, call it teasing if you want. Too easy makes it lose attraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a younger man. Mid thirties is best

+1000. Erectile issues are very common for men in their late 40ties+. See all the tv commercials for cialis, etc. Ask any urologist. Thirties are a sweet spot for men sexually since by then most know what they are doing and haven't gone completely to seed.

[Anonymous]

I'm 48 with a pretty high sex drive and was really attracted to a 65 year old guy who was smart, handsome, funny, successful....but 65. I was very concerned that he might have either a low sex drive or ED problems. We had a couple of great dates but I decided he was too old for me. A couple of months later a GF of mine started dating him and, over a few glasses of wine, revealed that the guy was an incredible stud without any assistance. My lesson learned is that just because a goy has snow on the roof doesn't mean he doesn't have fire somewhere else! Test them out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 with a pretty high sex drive and was really attracted to a 65 year old guy who was smart, handsome, funny, successful....but 65. I was very concerned that he might have either a low sex drive or ED problems. We had a couple of great dates but I decided he was too old for me. A couple of months later a GF of mine started dating him and, over a few glasses of wine, revealed that the guy was an incredible stud without any assistance. My lesson learned is that just because a goy has snow on the roof doesn't mean he doesn't have fire somewhere else! Test them out!

LOL - guy