Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

I don’t think that’s true at all in the DC area. I had my first at 28, and am more often than not, the youngest parent by 5 or more years.

Exactly! I would think a very young parent would have more trouble fitting in here.

Also even if you are from somewhere like Utah, keep in mind many Women there have their last baby around 40.

This is true. DH had our first when I was 19 and he was 22. It is way more common to see much older mothers in this area. I would not say we do not “fit in” because we have a very nice circle of friends, but in the beginning there were definitely some questions. Haha Overall, most people worth being friends with in this area do not care about age as much as they do about what type of person you are. I would say to any women or man who is financially and emotionally prepared to have a baby to go for it no matter your age. 41 is definitely not too old!

*DH and I. Haha not just DH.

I was wondering. But this is DC do I wasn’t going to ask either.

[Anonymous]

Go for it! My friend had twins at 40 and is very happy now. Another friend is having her second at age 43.
I had two kids when I was 28 then 31. I love that I'll be 50 when my youngest graduates from college but I still sometimes think it would be great to have a third(DH does not agree)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go for it! My friend had twins at 40 and is very happy now. Another friend is having her second at age 43.
I had two kids when I was 28 then 31. I love that I'll be 50 when my youngest graduates from college but I still sometimes think it would be great to have a third(DH does not agree)

That seems like the perfect ages. I had mine at 32 and 35. I’m now 43. Wish I’d started earlier but the I wouldn’t have the same awesome kids I wound up with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

Avoiding some awkwardness in life is definitely a solid reason to not have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

Avoiding some awkwardness in life is definitely a solid reason to not have children.

Yeah and I know people think the rest of the country has babies at 20 years old but that’s not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

Do you live in nw dc? Know UMC parents around this area? The 45 year old mom with a 5 year old will fit in way better than the mom “half her age” who had a kid at 17 lol! Most parents are going to be much closer in age to the older mom than the younger one!

+1. I am 38 and pregnant with my 2nd. When I mentioned my concern about my age to my OB he laughed at me and said I’m average age in DC.

For an anecdata, I also have a 5 year old and the parents in his class were all mid 30s to mid 40s; meaning all the parents were approx 30-40 when their child was born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.

NP here. Compared to me and my peers, you married relatively early. Most of my circle didn't meet our spouses until we'd moved to this area after grad school and started our careers.

I went straight from college (age 21) to law school (age 24) to law firm and met my now spouse through friends at age 25. We married when I was 30, after I'd left the firm for a second career. Decided at 33 to have a kid and gave birth at 34, the same age I got my current job. Then some other stuff happened and I'm pregnant with #2 at age 40, almost 41. Two of my good friends are also having babies at 40; one of them had her first kid by accident during grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

Avoiding some awkwardness in life is definitely a solid reason to not have children.

Yeah, really...it's been a total non-issue in my life. I had 5yo dc when I was 43 (have other kids now grown). I recently attended kindergarten open house and yes, dh and I were the oldest parents there I'm sure-but we chatted with the other parents and our kids played just fine. It's a non issue.

I'm old enough to be the k teacher's mom, that's ok-I admire her enthusiasm and energy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too old. You can do this if you want.

But, I definitely noticed a big difference between being pregnant in my 40s vs being pregnant in my 30s. Everything about being pregnant seems to be a bit easier when you're younger. But, I got a late start because I went to graduate school, etc., so wasn't the best option for me when I was young. I'm extremely grateful for my kids, though, and would do it all again.

There's never a good time to have kids; there's never a bad time to have kids.

This is always such an odd justification. I graduated from college at 22, worked for a couple of years, started grad school, got married at 26, finished grad school, got a better job thanks to my new degree, and had children at 29 and 31. Also, I grew up UMC in New York and went to top universities so it isn’t like I was some small southern town sorority sister just going to college to get my mrs or something.

Same here although I grew up MC in VA. Graduated college at 22, straight to grad school. Marriage at 25, first baby at 28, third by 34. Many women in my program had babies during grad school. It certainly didn't hold us back - I'd argue it was better to do it then than during their first years in the post-school workforce.

[Anonymous]

I did. Because I don’t have a time machine and that’s when we conceived. Whoops. Life is unscripted.

Would I have loved to have met my partner and had our family younger? Of course. But I’m glad that we went for it. She’s five, healthy, hilarious; and while we’re not as zippy as we might’ve been much younger our hearts are just as full. And we keep up it’s not like were using walkers.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how awkward it will be trying to fit in with other parents half your age. Your kids will squirm!

Avoiding some awkwardness in life is definitely a solid reason to not have children.

Yeah and I know people think the rest of the country has babies at 20 years old but that’s not true.

Even in places like Utah where women have their first kids at 22-23 they usually don't have their last kid until late 30s anyway. So there's usually a huge range of mom ages in a class because there are the "first kid" 20s and the "last kid" 40s.

[Anonymous]

PP here. It really isn't unusual in those circles to have the first and last kid be 16-18 years apart, for example.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend had her oops baby (her fourth) at 42. Their family feels complete and content even though it was unexpected and later in life than she would have chosen for a baby. Many of our great- and grandparents were late in age having babies (natural) even though it might have been their 4th, 5th or 6th. There has always a spread for women to have babies from their 20s to their late 30s/early 40s. Whether that is your first baby when at that maternal age might be determined by region, education level, etc, of course.

[Anonymous]

Even in places like Utah where women have their first kids at 22-23 they usually don't have their last kid until late 30s anyway. So there's usually a huge range of mom ages in a class because there are the "first kid" 20s and the "last kid" 40s.

^^ This is not necessarily the case. I live in Utah and the (unspoken) goal is to have 4 kids by age 30 and be done. I don't see many LDS families having kids past 35.