Is STA gay-friendly?

[Anonymous]

As an all-boys school, does anyone know whether the culture at STA embraces, tolerates, or bullies boys who are gay?

Thanks for any insight.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

STA is a very accepting community. I know because I have directly asked my son, who is straight, that question. My son is in upper school. According to him if anyone was homophobic, or made a nasty or even questionable comment about another student's sexuality, the other boys would quickly make it clear that is not okay.Its not even okay to question someone's sexuality or ask directly. My sons says this is an absolute.

Yes, there are some conservatives at STA, some Trump supporters too, but the boys are taught that making fun or slighting a classmate because he is gay would be akin to slighting him for the color of his skin or color of his eyes.

We know boys who have come out at STA and it was just fine.

[Anonymous]

The GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) organization is active in the Upper School and shows good leadership. The faculty is also extremely supportive. The school has also become more pro-active in sponsoring students to attend conferences where they can work on peer leadership on inclusivity issues (including sexuality).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STA is a very accepting community. I know because I have directly asked my son, who is straight, that question. My son is in upper school. According to him if anyone was homophobic, or made a nasty or even questionable comment about another student's sexuality, the other boys would quickly make it clear that is not okay.Its not even okay to question someone's sexuality or ask directly. My sons says this is an absolute.

Yes, there are some conservatives at STA, some Trump supporters too, but the boys are taught that making fun or slighting a classmate because he is gay would be akin to slighting him for the color of his skin or color of his eyes.

We know boys who have come out at STA and it was just fine.

Everything you write but the last line seems like intentional farce.

Your last line, however, is accurate.

[Anonymous]

My son officially "came out" as a junior and had no issues whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

I attended an all-male school (not STA, not in the DC area) in the early '90s. Things must really have changed since then if it is possible for such a place to be "gay friendly" today. I am straight and had a great experience at my high school, but, based upon what I saw then, I would hesitate to recommend such an environment for someone who is openly gay. I would think that a co-educational environment would be more comfortable and welcoming to such students. At the very least, I would want to research the issue carefully (as the OP seems to be doing) and find out if there are students and/or faculty who are openly gay and, if possible, talk to those people ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

I strongly second what the pp said based on my experiences in the early 2010s at a similar school. Not saying STA can't be a wonderful environment for your child (I have zero relationship with the school), but please research closely and don't just use people's positive anecdotes to assume it's going to be the right environment.

[Anonymous]

The school might be. The families definetly not.

[Anonymous]

I have a son in the lower school, and have not been happy with some of the behavior I have seen among the boys- namely that fact that some jokingly calling other boys "gay" as a put down. I have spoken to my son at length about how unacceptable this behavior is, and that it won't be tolerated. Unfortunately not a whole lot seems to be done about it at school (and yes, I have spoken to both his teacher and another school administrator about my concerns.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a son in the lower school, and have not been happy with some of the behavior I have seen among the boys- namely that fact that some jokingly calling other boys "gay" as a put down. I have spoken to my son at length about how unacceptable this behavior is, and that it won't be tolerated. Unfortunately not a whole lot seems to be done about it at school (and yes, I have spoken to both his teacher and another school administrator about my concerns.)

What grade?

[Anonymous]

10:21 poster here again. I could maybe see this work out if someone who was already a well-liked and well-respected (and emotionally stable) student in an all-male school decided at some point late in his high-school career (maybe junior or senior year) to come out as gay and did so in a respectable manner. Think class president or football team captain. By that age, other boys would probably be mature enough to accept the situation. But, at least in my (admittedly dated) experiences, it would really be suicide for an openly gay boy to start attending an all-male school with no reputation to precede him. He wouldn't be accepted or liked, and the emotional stress would be significant. The worst possible situation would be for someone who was not openly gay to be caught in any sort of stereotypically gay behavior, of course.

Again...I have nothing to offer that is specific to STA, but I just don't see how an all-male school would be a good environment for an openly gay boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:21 poster here again. I could maybe see this work out if someone who was already a well-liked and well-respected (and emotionally stable) student in an all-male school decided at some point late in his high-school career (maybe junior or senior year) to come out as gay and did so in a respectable manner. Think class president or football team captain. By that age, other boys would probably be mature enough to accept the situation. But, at least in my (admittedly dated) experiences, it would really be suicide for an openly gay boy to start attending an all-male school with no reputation to precede him. He wouldn't be accepted or liked, and the emotional stress would be significant. The worst possible situation would be for someone who was not openly gay to be caught in any sort of stereotypically gay behavior, of course.

Again...I have nothing to offer that is specific to STA, but I just don't see how an all-male school would be a good environment for an openly gay boy.

Better to be open than closeted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:21 poster here again. I could maybe see this work out if someone who was already a well-liked and well-respected (and emotionally stable) student in an all-male school decided at some point late in his high-school career (maybe junior or senior year) to come out as gay and did so in a respectable manner. Think class president or football team captain. By that age, other boys would probably be mature enough to accept the situation. But, at least in my (admittedly dated) experiences, it would really be suicide for an openly gay boy to start attending an all-male school with no reputation to precede him. He wouldn't be accepted or liked, and the emotional stress would be significant. The worst possible situation would be for someone who was not openly gay to be caught in any sort of stereotypically gay behavior, of course.

Again...I have nothing to offer that is specific to STA, but I just don't see how an all-male school would be a good environment for an openly gay boy.

I think your experiences are dated. My kids (both HS) know a fair number of boys and girls that are out, some as soon as middle school. It seems to be very accepted now. I have to say I was a bit surprised when my son told me in middle school that another boy was gay and was pretty much letting everyone know it. I think it's more shocking for the parents than the kids.

[Anonymous]

A lot of the boys like the show Modern Family and other shows with gay characters as part of the cast so I think most of the boys are pretty accepting of it.