Decline the bday party invite?

[Anonymous]

A close school friend of my son is having a bday party. However, the planned activity is not something my son is remotely interested in. The party is not about my son but he won't be able to withstand the activity for 2-3 hours. There is nothing else planned for the kids to do. The kids are turning 7.

The grown up in me says he attends because the party is about the bday child and my son should suck it up and deal with the activity. The parent in me says decline the invite, send a gift, and don't allow my sons unwillingness to participate take away from the enjoyment of the bday child.

Opinions?

[Anonymous]

If your kid is going to be miserable, why make him go?

[Anonymous]

My 7yo was just invited to an ice skating party. we will probably just go and drop off gift.

[Anonymous]

I've gone through this twice recently. Both times (I have two kids) were for laser tag parties. My kids just aren't that into laser tag, and, I think are a bit young for it - 5 and 7. In both scenarios I made my child go and in both scenarios regretted it. My kids were miserable both occasions and total wet blankets on the party. It was a good lesson in the party not being about them, but sucked nonetheless.
In the future, I will send regrets but drop off a gift for the birthday child.

[Anonymous]

Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

[Anonymous]

Can you go at the end just for the cake and party part? I'd encourage my kid to go and participate but if its something that is costing the host a lot of money we might opt out and just say we have a time conflict.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go. I presume there will be plenty of kids there that will enjoy the activity. Maybe do a "birthday playdate" with the boy at another time, and give him a gift then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

That's rude. I'm sure they are planning food and drink, perhaps party favors.

OP, just define the invite. Why do we treat kids differently than adults. Would YOU attend an activity you have no interest in participating? Of course not. You'd decline or say you were busy.

RSVP with regrets that you have other plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. I presume there will be plenty of kids there that will enjoy the activity. Maybe do a "birthday playdate" with the boy at another time, and give him a gift then.

3 other children were invited. The mom sent me an email to confirm that my child would be available on X date as she wanted to schedule Larlo's party. I know the boys are friends and I know my son wants to attend his friend Larlos party. I'm just really concerned about the planned activity. It is an activity that will cost the parents money. I know the mom from school but we are not friends.

[Anonymous]

It's fine to decline. Definitely DO NOT accept with plan to cancel at last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

That's rude. I'm sure they are planning food and drink, perhaps party favors.

OP, just define the invite. Why do we treat kids differently than adults. Would YOU attend an activity you have no interest in participating? Of course not. You'd decline or say you were busy.

RSVP with regrets that you have other plans.

if it were true, would it be "rude"? No, it wouldn't so don't be so ridiculously precious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. I presume there will be plenty of kids there that will enjoy the activity. Maybe do a "birthday playdate" with the boy at another time, and give him a gift then.

3 other children were invited. The mom sent me an email to confirm that my child would be available on X date as she wanted to schedule Larlo's party. I know the boys are friends and I know my son wants to attend his friend Larlos party. I'm just really concerned about the planned activity. It is an activity that will cost the parents money. I know the mom from school but we are not friends.

I am wondering what this activity is. I cannot imagine anything that is so boring that your son cannot do it for a couple of hours (typically only one hour really).

I am sympathetic if it is something your son just don't do yet. For example, the ice skating party if he does not skate. That would be boring indeed. I would not go to a skating party myself. But I made my son learn so that he does not have to be in the same position as I am.

[Anonymous]

Why cannot you be honest and just tell the Mom the truth. That you son cannot do the activity and it would be hard on him to go. I am sure the Mom would understand. On the other hand, kids may do things in a group that they won't normally do. So he may actually be fine. This may not be true for the younger kids. But elementary school age child may be able to do it.

[Anonymous]

Let your son decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

That's rude. I'm sure they are planning food and drink, perhaps party favors.

OP, just define the invite. Why do we treat kids differently than adults. Would YOU attend an activity you have no interest in participating? Of course not. You'd decline or say you were busy.

RSVP with regrets that you have other plans.

if it were true, would it be "rude"? No, it wouldn't so don't be so ridiculously precious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

That's rude. I'm sure they are planning food and drink, perhaps party favors.

OP, just define the invite. Why do we treat kids differently than adults. Would YOU attend an activity you have no interest in participating? Of course not. You'd decline or say you were busy.

RSVP with regrets that you have other plans.

if it were true, would it be "rude"? No, it wouldn't so don't be so ridiculously precious.

Um, it's rude. You're accepting the invitation in bad faith, *knowing you won't go,* and then planning to cancel the day of. Just decline the invitation. Or ask your son what he prefers.