Decline the bday party invite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of activity does a 7 year old refuse to participate in because it makes him miserable? This just sounds like a nasty mom looking for an excuse to snub someone.

Did you read the thread? It is full of real-life examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. I presume there will be plenty of kids there that will enjoy the activity. Maybe do a "birthday playdate" with the boy at another time, and give him a gift then.

3 other children were invited. The mom sent me an email to confirm that my child would be available on X date as she wanted to schedule Larlo's party. I know the boys are friends and I know my son wants to attend his friend Larlos party. I'm just really concerned about the planned activity. It is an activity that will cost the parents money. I know the mom from school but we are not friends.

I am wondering what this activity is. I cannot imagine anything that is so boring that your son cannot do it for a couple of hours (typically only one hour really).

I am sympathetic if it is something your son just don't do yet. For example, the ice skating party if he does not skate. That would be boring indeed. I would not go to a skating party myself. But I made my son learn so that he does not have to be in the same position as I am.

I learned to ice skate at that age after one experience. I wouldn't skip a party for this reason. Kids pick up things quickly and it can still be fun if they don't.

[Anonymous]

Here's what I would do.
I would talk to my son, explaining the situation. I would say: everything is about choices. You can just decline, in this case you sure won't be embarrassed, but also you sure won't have a great time. Or, you can confirm, and in this case you might be embarrassed, but also maybe, just maybe, you will end up having the best time in your life. I can help you with that. If you can't do it (swim, skate) - we can take daily lessons and I promise you in two weeks you will ace it. If it's something that makes you scared (laser tag) - let's go and try it early in the morning, together, step by step. I will be by your side, and our goal is just to find your comfort level.
The hardest part for me as a parent would be to accept the type of answer from my kid where he still chooses to not participate. But, oh well, we all turn down wonderful opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of activity does a 7 year old refuse to participate in because it makes him miserable? This just sounds like a nasty mom looking for an excuse to snub someone.

Did you read the thread? It is full of real-life examples.

Yes. Not all kids are the same. Trust me, I envy kids who are willing to do anything, but our son is not. And he can be a good sport about somethings but wioukd not be capable of this with others. If the mom planning the party thought the op's son was important enough to invite to a small bday party she should have taken his reaction to the activity into account. We have not invited good friends to small,parties we know would not work for them and then done something special with them after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. I presume there will be plenty of kids there that will enjoy the activity. Maybe do a "birthday playdate" with the boy at another time, and give him a gift then.

3 other children were invited. The mom sent me an email to confirm that my child would be available on X date as she wanted to schedule Larlo's party. I know the boys are friends and I know my son wants to attend his friend Larlos party. I'm just really concerned about the planned activity. It is an activity that will cost the parents money. I know the mom from school but we are not friends.

I am wondering what this activity is. I cannot imagine anything that is so boring that your son cannot do it for a couple of hours (typically only one hour really).

I am sympathetic if it is something your son just don't do yet. For example, the ice skating party if he does not skate. That would be boring indeed. I would not go to a skating party myself. But I made my son learn so that he does not have to be in the same position as I am.

I learned to ice skate at that age after one experience. I wouldn't skip a party for this reason. Kids pick up things quickly and it can still be fun if they don't.

My child does not pick things up easily -- different kids are different. It wasn't just 'boring.' He was painfully embarrassed at a skating party. In retrospect, knowing my kid, if I was going to send him to a skating party, I could've either taken him once or twice before or not sent him.