Decline the bday party invite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

That's rude. I'm sure they are planning food and drink, perhaps party favors.

OP, just define the invite. Why do we treat kids differently than adults. Would YOU attend an activity you have no interest in participating? Of course not. You'd decline or say you were busy.

RSVP with regrets that you have other plans.

if it were true, would it be "rude"? No, it wouldn't so don't be so ridiculously precious.

Cancelling at the last minute is not rude. Accepting when you know you will not be attending, even if everyone in your family is healthy and available, is rude. You are accepting and committing the other parents to hosting your child when you have no intention of actually attending. If they were limited guests and saved a spot for your child, possibly not including another friend, then they are disappointed. If they purchase food and treats and pay an admission, then they are out money. Yes, it is rude to accept in the first place with that intent.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.[u]

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

Accept the invitation knowing you're not going to attend and then let the hosts know at the last minute you won't be attending and then lie about why you won't be there? Dear Lord...you're awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept the invitation and on the day, I'm assuming a weekend, your son is sick - and you let them know.

Unless of course, this is going to cause them to lose money. It only works if it doesn't unravel their plans.

That's rude. I'm sure they are planning food and drink, perhaps party favors.

OP, just define the invite. Why do we treat kids differently than adults. Would YOU attend an activity you have no interest in participating? Of course not. You'd decline or say you were busy.
[i][b]
RSVP with regrets that you have other plans.

if it were true, would it be "rude"? No, it wouldn't so don't be so ridiculously precious.

Cancelling at the last minute is not rude. Accepting when you know you will not be attending, even if everyone in your family is healthy and available, is rude. You are accepting and committing the other parents to hosting your child when you have no intention of actually attending. If they were limited guests and saved a spot for your child, possibly not including another friend, then they are disappointed. If they purchase food and treats and pay an admission, then they are out money. Yes, it is rude to accept in the first place with that intent.

You don't need to say you're busy when RSVPing no. I've had people decline my kid's laser tag party saying it isn't their kids' thing, and we've said no to a movie party when it was a movie my DD didn't care for and my son didn't want to go to an art party because it just wasn't his thing and I've said that, too. They are kids. Why lie about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go. I presume there will be plenty of kids there that will enjoy the activity. Maybe do a "birthday playdate" with the boy at another time, and give him a gift then.

3 other children were invited. The mom sent me an email to confirm that my child would be available on X date as she wanted to schedule Larlo's party. I know the boys are friends and I know my son wants to attend his friend Larlos party. I'm just really concerned about the planned activity. It is an activity that will cost the parents money. I know the mom from school but we are not friends.

I am wondering what this activity is. I cannot imagine anything that is so boring that your son cannot do it for a couple of hours (typically only one hour really).

I am sympathetic if it is something your son just don't do yet. For example, the ice skating party if he does not skate. That would be boring indeed. I would not go to a skating party myself. But I made my son learn so that he does not have to be in the same position as I am.

Your son might actually surprise himself and you and have a good time or at least have fun hanging out with his friend(s). And the activity might not last an entire 2 or 3 hours especially if the kids get tired, more than 1 kid starts to lose interest, etc.

Go, encourage him to have a good time, and try something new. He'll be with his friends and cake and it's just for a few hours if that.

[Anonymous]

I'm also having a hard time imagining an activity my kid wouldn't pretty much go along with. He probably wouldn't love a lego party (everyone assumes all boys love legos...they really don't), but he'd do it with his friends.

I'd say if it's a full on phobia (swimming, heights, the dark room in laser tag) then just decline and tell the other parent why. No parent wants to host a kid who is freaking out or just really won't do the activity planned. If it's just something that's not his absolute favorite thing in the world, well just go along and make the best of it and maybe he'll like it better than he or you imagine when all of his buddies are there.

[Anonymous]

Uh, ask your kid if he wants to go?

[Anonymous]

My kid is 6, and I ask her whether she wants to go. She's only recently starting saying no. We got invited to a martial arts party for a boy she went to daycare with a couple years ago. She said, you know, I like him but I don't really play with him anymore and it's probably going to be all boys, so I'd rather not go. So, I declined. (broke my heart cuz I love the kid and his family!) She went to another martial arts party a month ago for another boy, but it was a boy who's in her current class. She seemed to have a good time at the party, but told me later that she really didn't - lol.

Are you still supposed to buy a gift if you don't go to the party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 6, and I ask her whether she wants to go. She's only recently starting saying no. We got invited to a martial arts party for a boy she went to daycare with a couple years ago. She said, you know, I like him but I don't really play with him anymore and it's probably going to be all boys, so I'd rather not go. So, I declined. (broke my heart cuz I love the kid and his family!) She went to another martial arts party a month ago for another boy, but it was a boy who's in her current class. She seemed to have a good time at the party, but told me later that she really didn't - lol.

Are you still supposed to buy a gift if you don't go to the party?

We don't.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it, OP. I've just hosted my DD' party this past weekend. 2 of her friends came and it was obvious from the very beginning they didn't like the activity and were bored. They didn't have a good time, were miserable and made everyone around them feel miserable too. In the end, one of the girls' mothers said, "Oh, Larla really doesn't like arts and crafts," Then why did you come?

[Anonymous]

Do not accept. I made my son go to a party once that was an activity he did not like.i did not realize the entire party was that activity. He was miserable and did not hide it. I think it actually hurt the friendship because it made his friend feel bad. Clearly he should have pretended to have fun, but in hindsight we should have just said no.

[Anonymous]

As the mom of a kid with some coordination issues and phobias, who only recently mastered "faking it till he makes it," I think it is FINE to decline and tell why.

Something like this:

"Thanks so much for inviting Johnny. He loves playing with Larlo but isn't comfortable ice skating and doesn't want to hold people back! Happy birthday to L!"

So much better than setting up Johnny for failure by sending him to something he really dislikes. Of course, I would ask my kid first. If he says he'd like to try ice skating, or whatever, I'd say great and let him go.

[Anonymous]

What are all these activities that a 7 year old doesn't like? I'm not really getting that. Unless the party is do your math homework.

[Anonymous]

If it's a rock climbing or something like that, I can see why it would be really difficult for a child who does not like the activity to go to such a party. OP, email the mom and let her know that the activity is not something your child would be able to do and he doesn't want to be a wet blanket at the party, but he would love to host the birthday boy on another day for a play date and celebrate the birthday then.

7 is too young to expect kids to fake having a good time. My DD has been unhappy at parties focused on certain activities and afterwards I realize she should have skipped them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are all these activities that a 7 year old doesn't like? I'm not really getting that. Unless the party is do your math homework.

I am wondering the same thing. I can't think of a party that 7 year old DS wouldn't want to attend. He enjoys some activities more than others, obviously, but he always has fun with his friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are all these activities that a 7 year old doesn't like? I'm not really getting that. Unless the party is do your math homework.

You'd be surprised. One of my DS's friends didn't come to his bday party because it was in the pool and the boy didn't know how to swim. The boy is 9 years old.

DD's friend didn't come to the mobile spa party because she "doesn't like anything touching her nails."