Anyone else with a SIL jealous of the relationship

[Anonymous]

You have with your brother or am I the only lucky one? Now, I pretty much have no relationship with my brother. He doesn't call, come over, or anything else. I only see him when I go to mom's and I'm there. I'm his twin. We grew up as best friends. I miss him and I want tto reach out but I know the person to respond is SIL. They claim it isn't SIL that texts me back but the responses aren't even close to how my brother talks/texts.

[Anonymous]

So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

Well, this is where it is right now. You can rail against it, or you can do what you can do. Keep extendig invitations; keep calling...at a MEASURED pace. It could be that you aren't seeing boundaries/red flags that he/they have sent up that you are too pushy/want too much of his time.

[Anonymous]

My brother moved to a different town and I didn't even know it. That's how little he tells me anymore. He's civil to me and talks as all is fine when I do see him but we don't talk about anything important or remotely personal. I have no idea what goes on in his life these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

So what caused this? She doesn't respond if you text her, but replies for him if you go to him directly? Did you bad mouth her at any time? Did you say something to offend her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

So what caused this? She doesn't respond if you text her, but replies for him if you go to him directly? Did you bad mouth her at any time? Did you say something to offend her?

I'm always nice to her. She likes to argue so I just don't engage. If she's arguing I leave or sit there quietly. She says I'm trying to be incestuous with my brother because I want to spend time with him one on one. She doesn't like any females in his life except their daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

So what caused this? She doesn't respond if you text her, but replies for him if you go to him directly? Did you bad mouth her at any time? Did you say something to offend her?

OK...it could be that she is 100% wrong and crazy. Or it could be that YOU are 100% wrong and crazy and really are over-stepping a lot, trying to be closer to him than is typical and that he would actually want.

Most likely, it's somewhere in the middle. Can you be honest about YOUR part in this? Can you see where YOU have expected too much of him, and where you may have shut her out?

The title of your thread alone speaks volumes. I would NEVER be jealous of my brother's romantic relationship. I don't want to be the closest woman in his life. I WANT him to have his own life, and someone special to share it with and to prioritize.
I'm always nice to her. She likes to argue so I just don't engage. If she's arguing I leave or sit there quietly. She says I'm trying to be incestuous with my brother because I want to spend time with him one on one. She doesn't like any females in his life except their daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

So what caused this? She doesn't respond if you text her, but replies for him if you go to him directly? Did you bad mouth her at any time? Did you say something to offend her?

OK...it could be that she is 100% wrong and crazy. Or it could be that YOU are 100% wrong and crazy and really are over-stepping a lot, trying to be closer to him than is typical and that he would actually want.

Most likely, it's somewhere in the middle. Can you be honest about YOUR part in this? Can you see where YOU have expected too much of him, and where you may have shut her out?

The title of your thread alone speaks volumes. I would NEVER be jealous of my brother's romantic relationship. I don't want to be the closest woman in his life. I WANT him to have his own life, and someone special to share it with and to prioritize.
I'm always nice to her. She likes to argue so I just don't engage. If she's arguing I leave or sit there quietly. She says I'm trying to be incestuous with my brother because I want to spend time with him one on one. She doesn't like any females in his life except their daughter.

I'm not jealous. She is. She hates him spending time with any other women. My mother included.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

So what caused this? She doesn't respond if you text her, but replies for him if you go to him directly? Did you bad mouth her at any time? Did you say something to offend her?

OK...it could be that she is 100% wrong and crazy. Or it could be that YOU are 100% wrong and crazy and really are over-stepping a lot, trying to be closer to him than is typical and that he would actually want.

Most likely, it's somewhere in the middle. Can you be honest about YOUR part in this? Can you see where YOU have expected too much of him, and where you may have shut her out?

The title of your thread alone speaks volumes. I would NEVER be jealous of my brother's romantic relationship. I don't want to be the closest woman in his life. I WANT him to have his own life, and someone special to share it with and to prioritize.
I'm always nice to her. She likes to argue so I just don't engage. If she's arguing I leave or sit there quietly. She says I'm trying to be incestuous with my brother because I want to spend time with him one on one. She doesn't like any females in his life except their daughter.

I'm not jealous. She is. She hates him spending time with any other women. My mother included.

OP, the more you post, the less you'll have anyone on your side. You sound jealous as hell and a bit unhinged. No wonder your SIL doesn't want her hubby around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...don't text. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Or invite him to dinner to catch up.

If you've failed to properly acknowledge her/build bridges with her, that may be a problem. They are together now; they have a life together now. Have you honored that?

If not, start small. Send them BOTH an e-mail or a text; invite them BOTH to dinner.

When I text her she won't respond. When I text her/call her to invite them both she replies with "I dont know, as your brother" she's even answered his phone so I don't know who I'm going to get.

So what caused this? She doesn't respond if you text her, but replies for him if you go to him directly? Did you bad mouth her at any time? Did you say something to offend her?

OK...it could be that she is 100% wrong and crazy. Or it could be that YOU are 100% wrong and crazy and really are over-stepping a lot, trying to be closer to him than is typical and that he would actually want.

Most likely, it's somewhere in the middle. Can you be honest about YOUR part in this? Can you see where YOU have expected too much of him, and where you may have shut her out?

The title of your thread alone speaks volumes. I would NEVER be jealous of my brother's romantic relationship. I don't want to be the closest woman in his life. I WANT him to have his own life, and someone special to share it with and to prioritize.
I'm always nice to her. She likes to argue so I just don't engage. If she's arguing I leave or sit there quietly. She says I'm trying to be incestuous with my brother because I want to spend time with him one on one. She doesn't like any females in his life except their daughter.

I'm not jealous. She is. She hates him spending time with any other women. My mother included.

OP, the more you post, the less you'll have anyone on your side. You sound jealous as hell and a bit unhinged. No wonder your SIL doesn't want her hubby around you.

I might have misunderstood PP but I got that she thought I was posting that I was jealous of SIL's relationship with my brother so I was just trying to clear up a misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

When I started dating my husband, his sister didn't think I'd be around for long. She said snotty things about me to their family friends, she'd invite my husband's ex over while I was visiting his parents house, you name it. They'd be together and my name would pop up on his caller ID, and she'd tell him not to answer. All sorts of outrageous stuff. My husband never liked how upset I'd get after her bullshit, so he pretty much cut her off for a few years.

We've been married for 10 years, and my husband has really only now become closer to her again. I'd tread carefully, OP. I think it took years worth of distance between my SIL and my husband for her to get it through her head that I'm his wife, not her. She simmered a lot once she got married herself and had kids, and a rude set of her own SILs.

[Anonymous]

Isn't the general consensus of all the women of DCUM that once a guy gets married every female in his life is second to the wife no matter what? I'm shocked more people haven't posted that in outrage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't the general consensus of all the women of DCUM that once a guy gets married every female in his life is second to the wife no matter what? I'm shocked more people haven't posted that in outrage.

Uh, yeah. That happens naturally when a marriage is healthy.