Anyone else with a SIL jealous of the relationship

[Anonymous]

And, I have learned that if my brother needs to speak with me he almost always uses his work phone. One idea for OP would be call or email him at work once a month or so. Or, ask him if calling him at work once a month to touch base is OK.

Also know that my SIL monitors his cell calls and texting. Other relatives also have to go through her as well, so I know it's not just me. Pre mobile phone it was harder to tell, so I wish I had not given up so easily when he never returned land line calls.

[Anonymous]

It would be nuts for a person to monitor their spouse's phone/texts like. That is creepy/scary/weird.

If that is a concern - call them at work and make plans to meet for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If SIL really is answering your bother's texts for him. Why not call him on his cell phone and ask him directly - "Are you free for lunch?"

My guess is that the guy probably really doesn't have a ton of free time as a married, working guy with his own home to take care of. He is probably the one texting you and saying "No, sorry, not a good time". He's not saying that because SIL is trying to keep you two apart - she probably doesn't even know a thing about these texts. He's saying it because he really and quite truly has very little spare time and he has other obligations. Happens to us all at times, don't take it so personally.

Just a thought anyway.

NP here and this was my thought to. Your brother is in a different stage of his life and is entrenched in marriage and child-rearing, which can be all-encompassing when balanced with work and other obligations. This is the time when friendships simmer on the back burner too, at least for a period of time.
His priorities are just different, and maybe you're feeling that while attributing it to your SIL. It may be that she isn't as interested in staying connected with your family, but this is the woman your brother chose to marry and it's probably not all her, as painful as it is to accept.

Those texts probably are from your brother. Relationships change, they ebb and glow in different stages of life.
How do you know that she thinks your relationship with your brother is "incestuous"? Where are you getting this from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If SIL really is answering your bother's texts for him. Why not call him on his cell phone and ask him directly - "Are you free for lunch?"

My guess is that the guy probably really doesn't have a ton of free time as a married, working guy with his own home to take care of. He is probably the one texting you and saying "No, sorry, not a good time". He's not saying that because SIL is trying to keep you two apart - she probably doesn't even know a thing about these texts. He's saying it because he really and quite truly has very little spare time and he has other obligations. Happens to us all at times, don't take it so personally.

Just a thought anyway.

NP here and this was my thought to. Your brother is in a different stage of his life and is entrenched in marriage and child-rearing, which can be all-encompassing when balanced with work and other obligations. This is the time when friendships simmer on the back burner too, at least for a period of time.
His priorities are just different, and maybe you're feeling that while attributing it to your SIL. It may be that she isn't as interested in staying connected with your family, but this is the woman your brother chose to marry and it's probably not all her, as painful as it is to accept.

Those texts probably are from your brother. Relationships change, they ebb and glow in different stages of life.
How do you know that she thinks your relationship with your brother is "incestuous"? Where are you getting this from?

This is very true. I will add that if there are kids involved your SIL is probably as busy as your brother is. They are most likely completely clueless that you are feeling this way.

Do they get together with you at all?