PTSD from baby with colic and reflux
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Anonymous
| My baby is almost 8 months old and we are just now feeling like we are getting out of the fog of terrible colic and reflux. Reflux seems largely controlled unless she is teething, which she currently is big time. I feel like every time she has a bad night my mind goes straight back to all those nights I spent rocking her as a 2 month old, in the depths of colic hell. I get irrationally overwhelmed and depressed and worried we will never get out of this phase. I know this is irrational and I am seeking help through a therapist, but I was just curious if other moms/parents have gone through something similar. |
Anonymous
| My first was a baby like this. I did have some real fear when the second one arrived 25 months after because all I knew of those early months was hours of horrible screaming. Second was an absolute angel who never cried and slept easily. Second is now 18 months and I almost never think about the early months with the first. Life goes on and your focus shifts to other thing. |
Anonymous
|
That's not PTSD.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that is brought on by memories of an extremely stressful event or series of events that cause intense fear, particularly if feelings of helplessness accompanied the fear. That event may be war, physical or sexual assault or abuse, an accident (such as an airplane crash or a serious motor vehicle accident), or a mass disaster. You can develop PTSD if the event happened to you, or even if you witnessed it. Having a baby is not PTSD inducing. |
Anonymous
It absolutely can be. I had a horrible birth experience that almost killed me and a premature infant to care for with no outside help while recovering from major surgery that went way beyond a c-section. Breastfeeding and pumping was a disaster. When I think of the early weeks, I feel absolutely terrified, trapped, and panicked. |
Anonymous
Colic combined with sleep deprivation can be enough to drive women into post partum psychosis and kill their children. Having a baby is not in and of itself PTSD inducing. Almost dying when having a baby, or almost being driven to suicide or madness because you can't escape a crying baby for weeks on end absolutely can be. Do not underestimate post partum mental illness. It is absolutely a very real phenomenon. |
Anonymous
| I had a similar experience to you, OP. Once we sleep trained and baby was falling asleep on his own and staying asleep consistently, things got better. About 8 or 9 months. Now he's 17 months and he's amazing. But I still wreaths in agony when I hear another bay cry and I'm not sure I'll have a 2 bed because of how traumatizing the Infant stage was for me. |
Anonymous
Who are you to determine which experiences can cause PTSD? |
Anonymous
| I know how you feel. Mine is 18 months now and a great sleeper and when people ask sometimes I'll have to stop myself from saying he doesn't sleep bc that memory just seems so strong. |
Anonymous
| My first was a normal baby (not easy but def not hard). I fear I am heading in your direction with my 2 month old premie with reflux. I still haven't gotten more than 2 hours between feeds at night and that's on a good night. My DH is already traumatized by baby and is being visibly aggravated (he was not like this with our first). I am just really struggling and have no idea how I will function at work next month. . |
Anonymous
NP. Here is what the Mayo Clinic says. "You can develop post-traumatic stress disorder when you go through, see or learn about an event involving actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violation." http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/basics/causes/con-20022540 PTSD seems to have a very narrow definition of how it's caused. |
Anonymous
This is us too. My daughter is almost two and I don't know if we will ever be able to have a second kid because of how tramaic it was. |
Anonymous
| In this boat now. I have a 3 month old 34 week premie with severe reflux. No crying fits but has random choking episodes 3-4 times a day. It can be at any tine no rhyme or reason. Saliva goes wrong way and everything gets blocked and the poor thing ia scared to death (as are we). We sleep with one ear open which us not really sleeping at all. It's hell. She's elevated at all times and it still happens every day |
Anonymous
| I'm sure it's stress inducing for baby to have a bad night, but PTSD is an actual condition with defined characteristics. I think it's becoming the new catch phrase, and the flippant overuse of the term is annoying at best to many of us who have PTSD from actual life threatening traumatic events. |
Anonymous
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Oh please to the PPs who are questioning the definition of PTSD. Whatever. It's clear you have never experienced a newborn/infant with colic and reflux. I have. And I'm about the most strong-minded person around, it takes insane amounts of shock or stress to offset me. Having a baby with colic and reflux, day after day, hour after hour, will fuck with your mind so badly that you think thoughts you never thought you'd think. Like, throwing your baby out of the window, or throwing it onto the couch, or back into its crib, anything to stop the constant screaming. And it's not just crying. It's literal screaming. High pitched, wailed, red-faced, constant screaming. If you've never experienced it and want to argue about some stupid literal definition of PTSD, go to another sanctimommy forum and shut the hell up.
To the OP, it does get better, I promise. I can joke about it now and even had a third child after my second child had colic and reflux. Don't beat yourself up and think of yourself as weak or awful or anything less than who you know you really are, I think discussing this with a therapist is a good approach. You will come out of this fog, it's just hard to envision that happening right now. But it will. Hang in there!! |
Anonymous
| Lol holy fuck this thread is gonna be awesome |