Silly things I worried about: infertility edition

[Anonymous]

I'm now done with my IF journey. And looking back there were so many things I worried about that in hindsight were unnecessary or silly. So what did you get worked up about that in the end really wasn't worth all that energy.

For me:

1) IM shots. They really weren't that bad. They weren't fun, but not as painful as I feared

2) using DE. Giving up the dream of OE was huge. It seemed like DE was the worst thing ever and to be avoided at all cost. But now that I have a DE baby, it's not the horrible thing I feared. I wish I had done it sooner!

[Anonymous]

I shouldn't same I'm done as I'm currently in my third trimester and would like to have another baby using frozen embryos.

I will share that IVF ended up not being a big deal at all. I made a huge deal about it and was overly dramatic. It really wasn't that bad and I find pregnancy to be much more challenging.

I regret I spent so much time worrying and putting off IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really wasn't that bad and I find pregnancy to be much more challenging.

So happy to hear these lovely stories - this highlighted section caught my eye. DH and I used to talk about how he just wanted to get the babies born so he could stop worrying (I had multiple high risks with all three but no actual complications). We went through the exhausted days and years of infancy and toddlerhood. But, dear fellow moms, your REALLY fun days are when you have a 12yo DD. I need to ask this same question about tweens/teens of moms to older kids. Enjoy the stage you are in (even pregnancy!), at all phases of babyhood, childhood and (gulp) adolescence - the stage coming up is harder and will make where you are now seem to be a cakewalk!

Hugs, mom to DD/12, DD/10, DS/8 (and I'm 52)

[Anonymous]

For my first consult at SG, I had only read a book about fertility diets and had brought a list of questions about whole milk v. skim milk, various supplements, etc. I'm sure the RE thought I was completely ridiculous but he was very diplomatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really wasn't that bad and I find pregnancy to be much more challenging.

So happy to hear these lovely stories - this highlighted section caught my eye. DH and I used to talk about how he just wanted to get the babies born so he could stop worrying (I had multiple high risks with all three but no actual complications). We went through the exhausted days and years of infancy and toddlerhood. But, dear fellow moms, your REALLY fun days are when you have a 12yo DD. I need to ask this same question about tweens/teens of moms to older kids. Enjoy the stage you are in (even pregnancy!), at all phases of babyhood, childhood and (gulp) adolescence - the stage coming up is harder and will make where you are now seem to be a cakewalk!

Hugs, mom to DD/12, DD/10, DS/8 (and I'm 52)

What a negative thing to say. I know you're trying to tell people to enjoy the moment, but the whole finger-wagging, you don't know how much worse it's going to get, is plain lame. YOU find older kids more challenging. Not everyone does.

[Anonymous]

I have a 12 year old, and thinkthat first two years are the hardest. My twelve year old is occasionally difficulty, but also very independent. I get to sleep through the night.

[Anonymous]

I regret worrying so much about the actual IVF procedures. It really wasn't bad, and I wasn't even sedated. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I wanted more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 12 year old, and thinkthat first two years are the hardest. My twelve year old is occasionally difficulty, but also very independent. I get to sleep through the night.

I think all these posts about having kids (12yo, etc.) without even mentioning infertility are not helpful in this forum. I wonder if posters are finding this thread through Recent Topics without realizing what forum they're in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really wasn't that bad and I find pregnancy to be much more challenging.

So happy to hear these lovely stories - this highlighted section caught my eye. DH and I used to talk about how he just wanted to get the babies born so he could stop worrying (I had multiple high risks with all three but no actual complications). We went through the exhausted days and years of infancy and toddlerhood. But, dear fellow moms, your REALLY fun days are when you have a 12yo DD. I need to ask this same question about tweens/teens of moms to older kids. Enjoy the stage you are in (even pregnancy!), at all phases of babyhood, childhood and (gulp) adolescence - the stage coming up is harder and will make where you are now seem to be a cakewalk!

Hugs, mom to DD/12, DD/10, DS/8 (and I'm 52)

Did you go through infertility treatments or did you just come to this forum to gloat about having four kids?

[Anonymous]

On the other hand, I'm a week and a half away from having a baby from DE (after 6 OE IVF cycles). This pregnancy was complicated and stressful, but it in NO WAY matched the stress and heartbreak of infertility for me. My stomach still clenches when I think about those hard years. Pregnancy, even with the complications I've had, has been a more hopeful, positive experience.

So everyone's experience is different.

And yes, anyone who ever says "enjoy your experience now because it will get much worse later" completely lacks empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret worrying so much about the actual IVF procedures. It really wasn't bad, and I wasn't even sedated. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I wanted more kids.

This. It brakes my heart when women decide not to have kids simply because they don't want to go through IVF.

[Anonymous]

^breaks my heart!

[Anonymous]

Hmmm, perhaps I'm heartless, but "breaks my heart" seems a bit strong. I'm sorry some women are too scared/intimidated/something of IVF to do it, but my broken heart is reserved more for women who can't afford it or who try it and fail.

[Anonymous]

Oh god, the diet things I did:

Ate pineapple cores during IUIs.

Gave up ALL caffeine one cycle. (A BFN with a PGS normal embryo.)

Stopped drinking completely. (Not necessarily a bad thing, to be honest.)

Cut was back on sugar. (okay, also not a bad thing.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really wasn't that bad and I find pregnancy to be much more challenging.

So happy to hear these lovely stories - this highlighted section caught my eye. DH and I used to talk about how he just wanted to get the babies born so he could stop worrying (I had multiple high risks with all three but no actual complications). We went through the exhausted days and years of infancy and toddlerhood. But, dear fellow moms, your REALLY fun days are when you have a 12yo DD. I need to ask this same question about tweens/teens of moms to older kids. Enjoy the stage you are in (even pregnancy!), at all phases of babyhood, childhood and (gulp) adolescence - the stage coming up is harder and will make where you are now seem to be a cakewalk!

Hugs, mom to DD/12, DD/10, DS/8 (and I'm 52)

I have older kids and this is hogwash. Had them through infertility treatments.

Here's the good news ladies - if you get through the emotional hell of infertility, you have lots to look forward to and nothing in the normal course of parenting will be so grueling.

I don't really regret anything about my infertility journey. It gave me a lot of perspective and taught me a lot about myself and how I relate to other people.