Has your life turned out the way that you wanted?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I see a lot of people who talk about how things haven't gone the way they hoped. What about those who feel that it did? Had the career you wanted, marriage you wanted, proud of your children, other accomplishments? Any advice, or do you feel that it is mostly (or a good bit) of luck?

[Anonymous]

I mean, sort of! I use my liberal arts degrees (BA and MA in theatre) for gainful employment that helps the world; I have a smart, funny, handsome husband who loves to cook (I also love to cook); our DS is awesome so far at 5 years old.

The things that didn't turn out the way I expected: we're 36 years old and still renting, we live in the middle of the country (such is the life of an academic family, though we love our college town), we have one kid instead of the two we envisioned, we're constantly "on the edge" monetarily.

But it's a good life so far.

[Anonymous]

I just turned 50, and yes it's turned out great. I have a wife I love dearly, and after 20+ years together we got married. (I'm a lesbian). Our 2 kids are beautiful, healthy and doing well in school. I'm where I want to be in my career and truly enjoy what I'm doing. We are all healthy and laugh a lot.

Of course luck plays into it. But by luck, I go by the definition I heard from Oprah once: preparation meeting opportunity. So my advice is to be prepared for the opportunities you want. If you want a partner that is kind, adorng and confident, then prepare yourself to be the person who that partner is attracted to. Work on being kind and confident. Treat yourself well, meaning don't put up with nonsense or disrespect.

[Anonymous]

Not so far, though I've come a lot further than I thought I would a few years ago. I have a legacy of abuse - and PTSD resulting from these and other experiences- that's felt like a huge handicap to progressing. I'm 31.

[Anonymous]

PP here, sorry, didn't realize this was the fifty and over forum!

[Anonymous]

I'm in my mid fifties and also a lesbian. Been together with my wife for 25 years and we have kids. I would say yes my life turned out the way I wa ted, which is even better than I had hoped. I had always wanted kids, but growing up, who thought a lesbian could have kids. I wanted to live in DC. I do. Who ever thought we'd see marriage equality and that I would be able to marry if I wanted.

Here's my advice. If you want something, you have to make it happen. Never look back and wish you had done something - take the opportunities that come your way. You're never too old to do what you want - I changed careers for the second time in my thirties, having to go to three years of full time school to do it. Save for the future but don't forget to live in the present. And rarely does stuff and big houses make you happy. It's experiences and being with family that counts. Oh, and while raising your kids, don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy them and keep your eye on the prize - helping them become independent t adults who can take care of themselves and have a good heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I see a lot of people who talk about how things haven't gone the way they hoped. What about those who feel that it did? Had the career you wanted, marriage you wanted, proud of your children, other accomplishments? Any advice, or do you feel that it is mostly (or a good bit) of luck?

Not really. I gave up my career to raise my children. Both have special needs that required more intense parenting for a longer period of time. I am proud of them and the hard work seems to be paying off now. However, it was a huge time sink and we too a large financial hit to make it happen. It is hard work and a ton of luck.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. I am very happy to have a wonderful, helpful and loving husband. I love and am bursting with pride over my children. The job category coud be better. Unfortunately a huge amount of time is sucked into my job and dwelling over how much I hate it. Ugh! If that one part of my life could change, I would be ever so satisfied. I just need to figure out what I want to do when I grow up!

[Anonymous]

Kids are fantastic
Health is great, knock on wood
Marriage is eh
Career is not great
Friends are fine
Life is overall good

[Anonymous]

I'm finally comfortable talking in front of groups of people and can cook a variety of basic meals.

And we're done with the list.

[Anonymous]

Well, I was feeling close and then we had the election. Now I face the last years of my civil servant career in an environment that is likely to be hostile and not respectful.

[Anonymous]

I make more money than I ever thought I would. I have an interesting job, and am respected.

I am married with a wonderful kid.

I am not the university professor I expected to be.

But, I would say overall, it is better than I expected.

[Anonymous]

50-something here. Life is good. Spouse is awesome. Kids are awesome. Work sucks .... I know. She left me roses by the stairs.....

[Anonymous]

It turned out better than I deserved, so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 50, and yes it's turned out great. I have a wife I love dearly, and after 20+ years together we got married. (I'm a lesbian). Our 2 kids are beautiful, healthy and doing well in school. I'm where I want to be in my career and truly enjoy what I'm doing. We are all healthy and laugh a lot.

Of course luck plays into it. But by luck, I go by the definition I heard from Oprah once: preparation meeting opportunity. So my advice is to be prepared for the opportunities you want. If you want a partner that is kind, adorng and confident, then prepare yourself to be the person who that partner is attracted to. Work on being kind and confident. Treat yourself well, meaning don't put up with nonsense or disrespect.

Ugh, you're so smug. Tell me about the prep/opportunity of getting an illness/disease, being widowed, having a special needs child, etc.