When did school become so much work for parents?

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids, one in ES and two younger ones. The ES kid seems to have some 'activity' we have to do every week in addition to homework. Many times it involves getting some supply or going out for something we don't have. For example, this week we're supposed to keep the class pet and take photos with him. There's a book everyone writes in and put the photos. Photos means a trip to target or some other place like it to stand in line and print them. Last week we were supposed to come in to read a special story. Then it's wear a certain thing day or print pictures of your family and do x.y.z. Next week it's bring things and volunteer for the holiday party. I don't mean to sound grinchy but do teachers not realize that parents have a zillion things to do and adding one more random errand to the mix for no real purpose is so irritating. I only work very PT and I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff. I can only imagine how people with more demanding jobs feel. It also seems kind of insensitive to assume people have the time/resources to do all this. I don't do everything they ask of course but I also don't want my kiddo to miss out so I do try to do as much as I can. Thanks for letting me vent DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids, one in ES and two younger ones. The ES kid seems to have some 'activity' we have to do every week in addition to homework. Many times it involves getting some supply or going out for something we don't have. For example, this week we're supposed to keep the class pet and take photos with him. There's a book everyone writes in and put the photos. Photos means a trip to target or some other place like it to stand in line and print them. Last week we were supposed to come in to read a special story. Then it's wear a certain thing day or print pictures of your family and do x.y.z. Next week it's bring things and volunteer for the holiday party. I don't mean to sound grinchy but do teachers not realize that parents have a zillion things to do and adding one more random errand to the mix for no real purpose is so irritating. I only work very PT and I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff. I can only imagine how people with more demanding jobs feel. It also seems kind of insensitive to assume people have the time/resources to do all this. I don't do everything they ask of course but I also don't want my kiddo to miss out so I do try to do as much as I can. Thanks for letting me vent DCUM!

Here's the thing- our parents didn't care if we missed out. You shouldn't either. The world does not revolve around children unless we let it. Just say no to the things you can't do.

[Anonymous]

I have a 3rd grader and I don't feel like we have many of these things at all. Maybe you have an especially creative teacher? I've gone in once to read a book (there's only about 1 slot per person a year). And not everyone has to participate in helping with the holiday party. Maybe just pick and choose one or two things you want to participate in and forget about the rest. Especially with three kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids, one in ES and two younger ones. The ES kid seems to have some 'activity' we have to do every week in addition to homework. Many times it involves getting some supply or going out for something we don't have. For example, this week we're supposed to keep the class pet and take photos with him. There's a book everyone writes in and put the photos. Photos means a trip to target or some other place like it to stand in line and print them. Last week we were supposed to come in to read a special story. Then it's wear a certain thing day or print pictures of your family and do x.y.z. Next week it's bring things and volunteer for the holiday party. I don't mean to sound grinchy but do teachers not realize that parents have a zillion things to do and adding one more random errand to the mix for no real purpose is so irritating. I only work very PT and I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff. I can only imagine how people with more demanding jobs feel. It also seems kind of insensitive to assume people have the time/resources to do all this. I don't do everything they ask of course but I also don't want my kiddo to miss out so I do try to do as much as I can. Thanks for letting me vent DCUM!

Here's the thing- our parents didn't care if we missed out. You shouldn't either. The world does not revolve around children unless we let it. Just say no to the things you can't do.

+1. If my child is assigned the task, I let them do it. Do not start down the path of helping your child with everything because the next thing you know you are "helping" with homework and book reports. I will provide supply like posterboard for their reports but it stops there. If my kids are too young to print pictures then they often went to school without OR Dad got to help.

[Anonymous]

I have a K and 2nd grader and it is definitely a lot of work. I think it gets better after 3rd grade. They should be more self sufficient by then. My kids still need a lot of help. My 2nd grader has quizzes or tests every week on top of miscellaneous projects.

[Anonymous]

I am poor and a single parent. I tell the teacher my kid will not be doing anything that costs money. Either they provide the supplies or she doesn't participate and I'll raise hell if they ding her grades because she's too poor for public school. She's in 8th grade and I only had a problem once, in 6th grade with a teacher insisting she do computer work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids, one in ES and two younger ones. The ES kid seems to have some 'activity' we have to do every week in addition to homework. Many times it involves getting some supply or going out for something we don't have. For example, this week we're supposed to keep the class pet and take photos with him. There's a book everyone writes in and put the photos. Photos means a trip to target or some other place like it to stand in line and print them. Last week we were supposed to come in to read a special story. Then it's wear a certain thing day or print pictures of your family and do x.y.z. Next week it's bring things and volunteer for the holiday party. I don't mean to sound grinchy but do teachers not realize that parents have a zillion things to do and adding one more random errand to the mix for no real purpose is so irritating. I only work very PT and I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff. I can only imagine how people with more demanding jobs feel. It also seems kind of insensitive to assume people have the time/resources to do all this. I don't do everything they ask of course but I also don't want my kiddo to miss out so I do try to do as much as I can. Thanks for letting me vent DCUM!

Here's the thing- our parents didn't care if we missed out. You shouldn't either. The world does not revolve around children unless we let it. Just say no to the things you can't do.

I think you hit the nail on the head for me but for the opposite reason. My mother was always the field trip mom or the party mom. She was the go to parent for the teachers even before the "class mom" existed.
This explains a lot and I honestly never thought about it this way. Hmmmm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids, one in ES and two younger ones. The ES kid seems to have some 'activity' we have to do every week in addition to homework. Many times it involves getting some supply or going out for something we don't have. For example, this week we're supposed to keep the class pet and take photos with him. There's a book everyone writes in and put the photos. Photos means a trip to target or some other place like it to stand in line and print them. Last week we were supposed to come in to read a special story. Then it's wear a certain thing day or print pictures of your family and do x.y.z. Next week it's bring things and volunteer for the holiday party. I don't mean to sound grinchy but do teachers not realize that parents have a zillion things to do and adding one more random errand to the mix for no real purpose is so irritating. I only work very PT and I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff. I can only imagine how people with more demanding jobs feel. It also seems kind of insensitive to assume people have the time/resources to do all this. I don't do everything they ask of course but I also don't want my kiddo to miss out so I do try to do as much as I can. Thanks for letting me vent DCUM!

lower expectations on yourself -

-- photo with class pet - print out on home printer in color, you don't need an actual photo on photo paper

-- wear something specific - ask your kid to pick something out to wear, go with what he picks unless it's inappropriate, if he doesn't want to participate after you encourage it, be ok with that

-- story reading - it's an invite, not a summons, so if you can't do it, you can't do it, you won't be able to go to everything and you don't need to

-- bring things for party- volunteer for the easiest item and pick up on your grocery run

-- party volunteer - again it's an invite, not a summons

[Anonymous]

The workload is school dependent. We transferred from a school like what OP describes to a school that has 1/4 of the workload for students and families. I would have preferred a happy medium.
Don't let the guilt of turning down an activity eat you alive. There will always be things that you can't do. Kids need to learn to deal with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The workload is school dependent. We transferred from a school like what OP describes to a school that has 1/4 of the workload for students and families. I would have preferred a happy medium.
Don't let the guilt of turning down an activity eat you alive. There will always be things that you can't do. Kids need to learn to deal with that.

Agree that this is school dependent. Tends to be more common in wealthier area schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am poor and a single parent. I tell the teacher my kid will not be doing anything that costs money. Either they provide the supplies or she doesn't participate and I'll raise hell if they ding her grades because she's too poor for public school. She's in 8th grade and I only had a problem once, in 6th grade with a teacher insisting she do computer work.

Yet, here you are on an internet site posting. How did you access the link? Paper?

And why can't your 8th grader work on a computer? They are free in school and the library.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids, one in ES and two younger ones. The ES kid seems to have some 'activity' we have to do every week in addition to homework. Many times it involves getting some supply or going out for something we don't have. For example, this week we're supposed to keep the class pet and take photos with him. There's a book everyone writes in and put the photos. Photos means a trip to target or some other place like it to stand in line and print them. Last week we were supposed to come in to read a special story. Then it's wear a certain thing day or print pictures of your family and do x.y.z. Next week it's bring things and volunteer for the holiday party. I don't mean to sound grinchy but do teachers not realize that parents have a zillion things to do and adding one more random errand to the mix for no real purpose is so irritating. I only work very PT and I feel overwhelmed with all the stuff. I can only imagine how people with more demanding jobs feel. It also seems kind of insensitive to assume people have the time/resources to do all this. I don't do everything they ask of course but I also don't want my kiddo to miss out so I do try to do as much as I can. Thanks for letting me vent DCUM!

lower expectations on yourself -

-- photo with class pet - print out on home printer in color, you don't need an actual photo on photo paper

-- wear something specific - ask your kid to pick something out to wear, go with what he picks unless it's inappropriate, if he doesn't want to participate after you encourage it, be ok with that

-- story reading - it's an invite, not a summons, so if you can't do it, you can't do it, you won't be able to go to everything and you don't need to

-- bring things for party- volunteer for the easiest item and pick up on your grocery run

-- party volunteer - again it's an invite, not a summons

Agree. Parents are just LAZY and WHINY these days. Everyone is always too busy to do anything.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya, OP. It's gotten ridiculous. I don't want to go out and buy special items that will get used once. It's hard to keep track when you have two kids going to different schools. Try telling the teacher your concerns and see what she says.

[Anonymous]

Worse is when these projects are the brain-child of the some-of-us-do-it-all-moms. Like a test. Constantly raising the bar. What's wrong... can't you keep up? Competitive mothering at it's worst. When it's a teacher's quirky idea, I'll do it though begrudgingly.

[Anonymous]

A lot of the projects are make-work by underemployed women with too much time on their hands. Like Ancient Civilizations day where the hyperweird moms show up in costumes themselves! We moved from a school with lots of stay at home moms to one with significantly fewer and the demands for silly make-work projects went down exponentially.