When did school become so much work for parents?

[Anonymous]

We had 30 -31- 32 students in an elementary classroom and never had mommy volunteers. Stay out of my kids class. Let the teacher teach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really only felt like kindergarten was a lot of work in this way. But i figured that was just part of the elementary school experience and I sucked it up. 1st and 2nd grades have been less intense in the parental-involvement area. This year (2nd) there were opportunities to sign up to chaperone 3 field trips and there will be a class party before Christmas. I ended up chaperoning one field trip for a few hours and I'll help with the party because my work won't be busy then and I can take an hour out of a telework day, and make some cookies the night before.

Look, do what you can. Push back if you feel something is excessive. Don't sign up if you can't sign up. I will say this, though - if you're only working "very PT" and can't manage to do something occasionally, you might need to work on your time management. Most of the parents I know work FT and we manage to do things occasionally. Frankly, there are about 20 moms at my school who run everything and I'd guess that 80% of them work outside the home. If we want our kids to go to good schools with parent involvement, part of that means being involved parents ourselves, and that can mean giving up a little free time.

It's exactly this attitude that's the problem. Volunteering at your kid's school should not be a competitive sport.

[Anonymous]

I kind of like being involved lived in this stuff. All to soon it'll be over and you'll be cut out of the loop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had 30 -31- 32 students in an elementary classroom and never had mommy volunteers. Stay out of my kids class. Let the teacher teach.

I can tolerate moms volunteering outside the classroom, but not inside while the teaching is in progress or for Take Home reading (moms come to know what reading levels are the other kids....ugh!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid had to do the class pet journal in preschool and we had so much fun with it. I was working full time back then. We had the weekend to do it though. I printed pictures at CVS and it took 5 minutes. It really was not a big deal. We could just as easily have printed the pictures on our home printer, which many of the other families did.

These projects are made to be fun, not be a chore.

+1


Not all of my kids had teachers who did it but the two who did still remember it fondly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a waste of your Harvard education.

Not the PP but if you received a death sentence, I doubt you would still work or care about your Harvard education. Some people enjoy living in the now. I SAH for 8 years and I am now back PT. Will go back FT when they in college. Life is too short to see your kids 1-2 hours a day and feel like you are actually parenting them. Why have kids if you let others raise them and then bitch when you need to do something for them, or see them in a play, watch their Halloween parade, or (gasp) actually help a teacher.

News flash OP. Teachers expectations haven't changed. Moms have. Big difference.

Funny, I have never had a teacher come to my place of employment, free of charge, to do bullshit grunt work. Why should I take time out of my work to be some teachers bitch for a day?

Because making things easier on them frees them up to do their more important work (lesson planning, grading, teaching/working one on one with kids or in smaller groups) which ultimately helps the kids, including your own. You really need that spelled out for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had 30 -31- 32 students in an elementary classroom and never had mommy volunteers. Stay out of my kids class. Let the teacher teach.

I can tolerate moms volunteering outside the classroom, but not inside while the teaching is in progress or for Take Home reading (moms come to know what reading levels are the other kids....ugh!)

Fwiw when I volunteered in the classroom, it's as always to free the teacher up to work on skills like reading, either one on one or in small groups. I oversaw the kids playing a math game or some other type of word game, usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its over the top in wealthy areas.

after raising 2, I think that schools should be a PARENT-FREE zone.

it is crazy what parents do, and at our high school it was entirely women, and stay at home women, all meetings were 9:30 in the morning.

Parent Free zones? So no PTA. No fundraising, no book fairs, no community service projects, no after school classes, no athletic boosters, no volunteering in classes with 28 kids to 1 parent? How about recess aides where there are 250 kids out and only 1-2 aides. Who do you think stuffs all your kids cubbies with papers, who photocopies flyers and worksheets. Who puts together the parties - the teachers do not have time for that.

Just because you can't do it doesn't mean other parents shouldn't.

You do realize that our ES PTA gets about $25K a year on average. Each teacher gets $300 for school supplies. We purchased more chrome books so they don't have to share. All FARMS kids have free field trips and $10 to purchase books at the book fair. Every school activity (dance nights, talent show, skating night, bingo, etc..) are all free for kids and parents. Rentals for chorus and instramental productions. Assemblies and guest speakers during the school day paid for. Playground equipment, games for indoor recess, a bigger fridge for the teacher's lounge.

But yes, let's not involve the parents. They are just in the way.

Oh my fucking god. Do you realize 95% of what you have listed here is the makework bullshit people are talking about, right?
PTA...the world will continue revolving without it, trust me
Fundraising..again, not necessary.
All that paper that gets lost in the bottom of my DC backpack? Yeah, that won't be missed.
Athletic booster? School is for education. Sports should not be entangled public education.
Parties? Maybe you should get a job, if you need this to fill your time.
Oh, and teachers should be out watching kids at recess. They get their own lunch period, they should be watching students during lunch and stop wasting more tax payer money with aids.

I volunteer in the library once a week on my day off, reshelving books and helping kids check out books, and then I volunteer in my kid's classroom. Typically the teacher divides the class and not stations and she works with students one on one or in small groups on some skill while I supervise a group playing a math or word game or eating their snack. I also help out with the various special fundraisers: the book fair, the class skating party, Jump Rope for Heart, field day, etc. which help make school fun for the kids. Is all that useless in your eyes as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa folks - OP here. Didn't mean to start an attack thread (although maybe inevitable on DCUM). I'm not lazy and uninvolved nor do I have time management issues. I have three kids, five and under, one with special needs and one still an infant. DH works a very demanding job so I'm the primary caretaker and organizer of all the services for our DS with special needs while trying to do my own work and fun stuff for the kids in between. I do go to a lot of school activities and I am emailing several times a week with the K teacher about issues related to DS (her initiating and me responding, not me pestering her). DS does all his homework and we very much emphasize the importance of school and the family being a part of all of our kids' education. That said, what I'm complaining about is the making work that is totally unnecessary and not related to any educational goal. Yes it's special to do pajama day, no it's not special to have a new project every week that requires something "extra." It becomes routine for the kids and it is annoying to add something completely non-essential to the to do list. Even small stuff like worksheets - we're supposed to print everything at home because the school is trying to be "green." Hello, if we have to print it and hand it in how is that any greener than them doing it? I've always attended class parties, helped to bring things in and volunteer to read or come for a special day to help. Those things are a joy and something I am grateful I get to do as a mom. I guess I'm just complaining about the more routine stuff and all the expectations that seem relentless. Good to know from others that maybe it tapers off as they get older.

Homewokindergarten. Sigh. And then all these other worthless projects. This is not okay. No kindergarten teacher should ever assign homework.

Don't even get me started on expecting parents to bear the time and financial burden of printing worksheets (for kindergarten!) at home.

What school is this so I make sure to avoid it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like some advance warning. I'll buy poster board or whatever for my 1st grader's project but please it's much easier if the teacher emails on Monday that it's needed by Friday. We've gotten emails on Wed night that something is needed by Friday, doable yes, but earlier would be nice.

Or you could just buy a few pieces of poster board at a time so that it's there when you need it? I'm sure you possess the ability to plan ahead in other areas of your life?

It's not always posterboard. Should we buy a few of everything just in case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoa folks - OP here. Didn't mean to start an attack thread (although maybe inevitable on DCUM). I'm not lazy and uninvolved nor do I have time management issues. I have three kids, five and under, one with special needs and one still an infant. DH works a very demanding job so I'm the primary caretaker and organizer of all the services for our DS with special needs while trying to do my own work and fun stuff for the kids in between. I do go to a lot of school activities and I am emailing several times a week with the K teacher about issues related to DS (her initiating and me responding, not me pestering her). DS does all his homework and we very much emphasize the importance of school and the family being a part of all of our kids' education. That said, what I'm complaining about is the making work that is totally unnecessary and not related to any educational goal. Yes it's special to do pajama day, no it's not special to have a new project every week that requires something "extra." It becomes routine for the kids and it is annoying to add something completely non-essential to the to do list. Even small stuff like worksheets - we're supposed to print everything at home because the school is trying to be "green." Hello, if we have to print it and hand it in how is that any greener than them doing it? I've always attended class parties, helped to bring things in and volunteer to read or come for a special day to help. Those things are a joy and something I am grateful I get to do as a mom. I guess I'm just complaining about the more routine stuff and all the expectations that seem relentless. Good to know from others that maybe it tapers off as they get older.

Got it. You just want to do the things that bring you joy personally. You do realize that being a parent means that it's not all about your wants, right? How are you going to manage when you have multiple children in school at the same time? Learn to say no to the frivolous things if you feel that they're frivolous, but it seems like you are just waking up to the fact that your level of involvement changes as kids get older. Or just decide you want to do the stuff that's fun for you. Whatever.

So you're ok with pajama day even though it most likely isn't related to any educational goal but projects that presumably are related to an educational goal are not ok? I'm sure the teacher is just spending her time dreaming up projects that are in no way connected to what students are learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually don't think a lot of the bullshit projects do add to the educational experience. Kids in China, Romania, elsewhere grow up to be theoretical mathematicians, physicists -- all without dressing up like their favorite historical figure, acting out a math facts song, having a pep rally for the SOL's. This stuff is an outgrowth of weird, trendy fads in education in this country and parents with too much time on their hands.
And I have older kids and I absolutely do NOT wish I had been at every party, every field trip, etc. My kids are at top-rated private colleges because I was able to earn the money to send them there. THat's what I value -- not someone acting out a play, gluing more things on construction paper, etc.
Part of the reason I didn't make volunteering a priority is because there truly is no correlation between bullshit projects and how your kids do on the standardized tests and how highly the school is rating. Greatschools.net is actually correlated with household income -- Schools where parents are wealthy, can afford tutors and extra-curriculars, where learning disabilities get diagnosed and treated, where everybody gets fed before they go to school, where kids have the stability of knowing they're not going to end up homeless tend to end up with high test scores. THe bullshit projects don't cause the high ratings or the test scores, and neither does the parental involvement. THe parental resources cause these things, and there also happen to be a lot of bullshit projects.

Kids in ihre countries succeed in schools partly because there is no such bullshit as trying to equalize the schools by mixing together poor performing and well performing kids. Here schools need a lot more resources to cater to so many different needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a waste of your Harvard education.

Not the PP but if you received a death sentence, I doubt you would still work or care about your Harvard education. Some people enjoy living in the now. I SAH for 8 years and I am now back PT. Will go back FT when they in college. Life is too short to see your kids 1-2 hours a day and feel like you are actually parenting them. Why have kids if you let others raise them and then bitch when you need to do something for them, or see them in a play, watch their Halloween parade, or (gasp) actually help a teacher.

News flash OP. Teachers expectations haven't changed. Moms have. Big difference.

Funny, I have never had a teacher come to my place of employment, free of charge, to do bullshit grunt work. Why should I take time out of my work to be some teachers bitch for a day?

Don't worrry, you aren't a teacher's bitch - you are a selfish clueless bitch

Schools are highly funded by PTA's and helped with volunteers because the ratios are high. This benefits your child. If you choose not to be the teacher's bitch because no one is helping you at your job, so be it.

Agree. Just helping with the Tuesday folders saves the teacher about 30 minutes a week when she can focus on something else. I previously helped with photocopying It saved that teacher 45 minutes a week. NBD. Do it or don't...but your attitude stinks. Many hands make light work and, in the end, it helps the whole class, my child included...you need to rethink things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like some advance warning. I'll buy poster board or whatever for my 1st grader's project but please it's much easier if the teacher emails on Monday that it's needed by Friday. We've gotten emails on Wed night that something is needed by Friday, doable yes, but earlier would be nice.

Or you could just buy a few pieces of poster board at a time so that it's there when you need it? I'm sure you possess the ability to plan ahead in other areas of your life?

It's not always posterboard. Should we buy a few of everything just in case?

Our kids love art so we have a lot of art supplies. I love going to Michaels. Also going to Target or the Dollar Store to pick up supplies really isn't a big deal. You need to chill out. I can't think of one project my child did this year that required me to buy supplies we did not already have. I signed up to bring in candy for gingerbread house decorating so I will pick some up this week when I go grocery shopping.

[Anonymous]

I just sent DH wth the kids to print out photos and buy art supplies for their holiday projects due next week. Yes, it is some effort from parents but it will be a nice morning working on them in this cold weather. Not everything has to be a chore. I think it is meant to be fun. You could have printed the pictures out on a black and white printer too and just used crayons at home. These projects are not graded.