Your thoughts on this please....
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Anonymous
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I'm not personally involved in this situation, but as the parent of a teen it resonates.
A 16 year old teen in our county snapchatted a picture of herself wearing a chocolate mask with the caption "finally a n....." (spelled out) to a friend before the election. Her friend took a screenshot and then posted it on instagram after the election with the girl's name. A firestorm erupted in the community. The girl received death threats and people telling her to kill herself. She attended one of the local public high schools. We are in an extremely diverse area, think Columbia/Ellicott City. Whatever disciplinary action (if any ) was taken is of course confidential. Rumor was that the girl was disenrolled from her public school and now attends an out of state private school. On a community FB message board that I belong to, grown adults were calling for her to be beaten and dragged. Most recently, the black pastor of a local church reached out to and met with the girl and her family. He publicly posted the girl's apology and spoke of moving on with forgiveness, not hatred. The girl said she had no idea of the history of blackface or how hurtful her actions would be to others. Some grown adults are still calling for her to be beaten. They say she is sorry only that she got caught, not about how her actions hurt others. The whole thing is sickening, but I am shocked by the degree of hatred being levelled at a 16 year old. She screwed up big time and definitely should face consequences, but beating, dragging, suicide are not the right response. What do you think? |
Anonymous
| Those calling for her head don't remember the things they did as a teenager. |
Anonymous
| No one actually beat her or dragged her anywhere, right? She is 16 and should have known better. So no I don't feel sorry for her at all and think that being ostracized from her community is fine. |
Anonymous
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I think her parents failed her - to not have properly explained how hugely offensive it is to say the N word, to have not explained blackface. The parents are in the wrong more than the teenager.
She shouldn't be beaten or killed, but she should feel terrible for what she did and never EVER make this mistake again. |
Anonymous
| The internet allows for things to be handled in public now instead of privately. The whole thing is awful, and all the players are in the wrong (well, except for the pastor, obviously). |
Anonymous
| What, if any actions, happened to the girl who posted on social media? I don't condone either of them. The pastor is a bigger person than most folks in this nation. |
Anonymous
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What's the difference between this incident and kids paining swaztikas, etc. in schools or standing up in lunch rooms yelling "build the wall?"
Thing is, they're all kids. It's all horrific, but if they're teens, you have to treat it as a teachable moment rather than jump to death threats and the like. |
Anonymous
The true instigator here is the internet. Back in the day it would fade to rumors and then be forgotten forever. That picture, which I have unfortunately seen, will take a long while to fade out of season but of course it will never be gone. In the end, the best lesson is to teach your children that what they post online is forever. Many kids don't understand the blackface reference (many adults don't, either) but I don't know a single kid who doesn't understand that the 'n' word is off limits everywhere. The girl will be fine once another kid does something at least as stupid. I'm sure it won't be long now. |
Anonymous
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I think this happens with some regularity. The second one sounds an awful lot like your story.
http://atrl.net/forums/showthread.php?t=952849&page=1 http://www.whio.com/news/national/former-college-student-who-used-facial-mask-blackface-sparks-outrage/TlVWTYS3cjne6YxXYfsA8I/ |
Anonymous
In theory I agree that as a 16-year old she should know better and should face consequences; however, I don't think completing ostracizing her from the community is the answer. Kids screw up and make mistakes. They don't have a full appreciation of the consequences of their actions - even at 16 years old. Their brains are still developing. If we force everyone who has made a mistake to leave the community then how are we expected to correct the behavior? Admitting the action, apologizing for the action and facing the consequences within the community will go much further in teaching a lesson. Communities need to come together to teach a lesson which is sometimes hard and painful. Teaching those lessons often comes with a history lesson and facing those that were affected/offended/insulted. It shouldn't necessarily be easy, but a gentle approach to why it was hurtful will go much further in healing the community and truly teaching a lesson rather than simply exacting revenge. Those calling for beatings and killings don't have any desire to teach or change the landscape. They simply want revenge and that never helps any community. There are obviously exceptions to this as a general rule - anyone who has refused to accept responsibility for the actions, has caused significant physical harm and threatens to do the same again and those who are repeat offenders. However, with so many other examples of kids screwing up we as a society could work together to educate the poor and disrespectful behavior. Sadly, I think society will be facing more of this kind of crap in the foreseeable future...we should start practicing these teachable moments now. |
Anonymous
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You know, there also needs to be some understanding that young people actually aren't aware of some of our racial history and derived sensitivities. When I was in high school some girls drew a picture of a teacher's young child as a monkey. The child was black, the students, white.
The girls got in big trouble, and this is pre-internet so I'm sure it would be worse now. But they truly didn't know that blacks had been disenfranchised and depicted as sub human using monkey descriptions and illustrations. They weren't trying to be negative in any way-- they simply didn't know better. That is to say, of course this kid with the black face should be punished, but seeing as how people don't routinely don blackface or refer to blacks as "monkeys" anymore, we need to accept that kids aren't always going to know the true depth of the insults of this stuff unless we directly tell them. |
Anonymous
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I get it, the kid is ignorant. And there's a teachable moment and a chance for her to grow and make better choices.
That said, I don't think normalizing this language under the guise of kids being kids is okay. I don't think the kid should be stoned or whatever, but I do think the natural consequence of engaging in abhorrent, racist behavior is probably social ostracism. I felt the same way about that Stanford rapist guy whose parents were whining about his life being ruined by being brought to justice. Uh, this is a natural consequence, man. Don't rape. Don't do racist things. I also think parents are idiots when it comes to raising their kids in the age of social media. People need to instill the point that there is no such thing as a "private" conversation when it occurs online and to conduct themselves as though God is watching them. If they wouldn't do something in front of our entire church, then they shouldn't be doing it online period end of story. |
Anonymous
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Sure sounds like everyone over-reacted, except that pastor - thank goodness there are a few good people out there. |
Anonymous
This. We have something called free speech in this country. That includes offensive speech. I agree that the girl should have known better, but she does have the right to express herself in whatever (possibly offensive) way that she wants without having to accept threats of violence. |
Anonymous
Yup, for all of our sakes, we can't let a single action no matter how awful ruin a life. She needs to grow up to be an upstanding member of our community and she won't be that if ostracized and shunned. She sure did something awful, but it shouldn't ruin a life. |