Your thoughts on this please....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
And NO, the reason is never, ever blurred why people who aren't black can't use it. Its got one of the most sinister connotations in the English language, if those in the affected group choose to use it (and there is plenty of controversy there too), there is still NO reason for anyone else to, arguments about it being "fair" or "confusing" are total bull shit.

I disagree with you. I'm the parent of the child who has all his life attended schools with mostly African American students. He's been one of maybe 2 white kids in the school. When he has heard the n- word it was in school, from AA children joking or using it ironically (I assume). So 100% of the time he has heard the word it did not have a sinister connotation in the moment it was being used. I think he can be excused for not quite getting how bad a word it is, to be honest. I mean, I've told him but he doesn't believe me, because all evidence, all his life, has been otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Then I don't think you've done a good job telling him about the word and it's history....You ought to because if he chooses to use it, someone(s) may choose to assault your child....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then I don't think you've done a good job telling him about the word and it's history....You ought to because if he chooses to use it, someone(s) may choose to assault your child....

I have told him about the word and its history, but as I said, his earliest experiences of the word, and all his current experiences, go against what I have told him.

Imagine if you sent your (non Jewish) child to a Jewish school, where 98% of the kids were Jewish, and the kids frequently and ironically wore swastikas all over their clothing, and sang songs where they said "Heil Hitler" to each other. In fact the FIRST TIME your child saw a swastika or heard Heil Hitler was from his Jewish classmates.

I would still tell my child that the swastika was a symbol of Nazi Germany and was to be reviled, and that no child of mine should say "Heil Hitler" but still, he would find it hard to believe because his daily evidence would show otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
And NO, the reason is never, ever blurred why people who aren't black can't use it. Its got one of the most sinister connotations in the English language, if those in the affected group choose to use it (and there is plenty of controversy there too), there is still NO reason for anyone else to, arguments about it being "fair" or "confusing" are total bull shit.

I disagree with you. I'm the parent of the child who has all his life attended schools with mostly African American students. He's been one of maybe 2 white kids in the school. When he has heard the n- word it was in school, from AA children joking or using it ironically (I assume). So 100% of the time he has heard the word it did not have a sinister connotation in the moment it was being used. I think he can be excused for not quite getting how bad a word it is, to be honest. I mean, I've told him but he doesn't believe me, because all evidence, all his life, has been otherwise.

Sure, that may be his reality- but he will eventually get older, see more perspectives, hear and read more things and come to believe you. Just because its in a song in a jovial way doesn't erase its history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something very, very similar is happening to a teen in my extended family. The mother of one of her peers, a member of the offended minority group, started a social media account where she posts photos of the "bigot", a 15-year-old girl, at her afterschool job and outside her school and home. Lawyers are involved.

Why/how are lawyers involved? That sounds potentially excessive, but photographing someone in public probably isn't illegal. I assume there's much more going on here than just that example. If people (old enough to do better) do something wrong & shameful, they can expect that to become part of their reputation and bring embarrassment and shame.

... but this cray, cray offended minority isn't JUST taking photos of a minor in public. They are posting them on social media. It's a form of harassment and bullying. This parent needs to let it go.... Seriously.

[Anonymous]

WOW - when this child commits suicide, will it have been "worth it?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sure, that may be his reality- but he will eventually get older, see more perspectives, hear and read more things and come to believe you. Just because its in a song in a jovial way doesn't erase its history.

It doesn't erase history, but it changes culture. It might be that kids today ARE using the n- word in a way this is different from 10, 20, 30 40 50 years ago. And that may just be the fact that adults don't like and don't agree with, but 50 year olds aren't in charge of teen culture and lingo.

Interesting Post article from 2 years ago on this subject:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2014/11/09/the-n-word-an-entrenched-racial-slur-now-more-prevalent-than-ever/

Spend some time in the hallways of a high school and you are likely to hear not only African Americans using the word among themselves, but also Asians, Latinos and whites. They probably don’t mean any harm, but it is jarring to anyone with the perspective of an older generation.

“Kids today lack the historical perspective,” said Michael Nesmith, head football coach at Paint Branch High School in the Maryland suburbs of Washington. “That, plus its use in hip-hop, is why it’s so prevalent. They’re desensitized to it. I hear kids using it all the time — whites to other whites, Latinos to other Latinos.” Nesmith said he doesn’t allow his players (roughly 90 percent of whom are black) to use the word, but he added, “We’re fighting a losing battle.”

and

Others would question whether such a universal acceptance could ever occur. Despite its expansion, the n-word hasn’t really joined mainstream American culture — just mainstream American youth culture. That it is growing in volume doesn’t necessarily mean it is growing in influence. As has happened throughout history, young people grow up, they take jobs, they have kids and their viewpoints change.

The sheer number of prominent artists who went from using the n-word frequently to disavowing it — a group that includes comedians Richard Pryor, Paul Mooney and Chris Rock — suggests a coming of age or an awakening to the word’s powers to harm.

Richard Pryor -- born 1940
Paul Mooney -- born 1941
Chris Rock -- born 1965

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure, that may be his reality- but he will eventually get older, see more perspectives, hear and read more things and come to believe you. Just because its in a song in a jovial way doesn't erase its history.

It doesn't erase history, but it changes culture. It might be that kids today ARE using the n- word in a way this is different from 10, 20, 30 40 50 years ago. And that may just be the fact that adults don't like and don't agree with, but 50 year olds aren't in charge of teen culture and lingo.

Interesting Post article from 2 years ago on this subject:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2014/11/09/the-n-word-an-entrenched-racial-slur-now-more-prevalent-than-ever/

Spend some time in the hallways of a high school and you are likely to hear not only African Americans using the word among themselves, but also Asians, Latinos and whites. They probably don’t mean any harm, but it is jarring to anyone with the perspective of an older generation.

“Kids today lack the historical perspective,” said Michael Nesmith, head football coach at Paint Branch High School in the Maryland suburbs of Washington. “That, plus its use in hip-hop, is why it’s so prevalent. They’re desensitized to it. I hear kids using it all the time — whites to other whites, Latinos to other Latinos.” Nesmith said he doesn’t allow his players (roughly 90 percent of whom are black) to use the word, but he added, “We’re fighting a losing battle.”

and

Others would question whether such a universal acceptance could ever occur. Despite its expansion, the n-word hasn’t really joined mainstream American culture — just mainstream American youth culture. That it is growing in volume doesn’t necessarily mean it is growing in influence. As has happened throughout history, young people grow up, they take jobs, they have kids and their viewpoints change.

The sheer number of prominent artists who went from using the n-word frequently to disavowing it — a group that includes comedians Richard Pryor, Paul Mooney and Chris Rock — suggests a coming of age or an awakening to the word’s powers to harm.

Richard Pryor -- born 1940
Paul Mooney -- born 1941
Chris Rock -- born 1965

Very interesting, thank you.

[Anonymous]

I would view this as a moral failing as a parent like the other posters. Yes, kids will hear this crap, but when my son tried to justify using the n-word like his friends, I set him completely straight. It's not okay, it will never be okay and it reflects a history that is actively being ignored and forgotten because people cannot stand to view themselves or their parents or grandparents as people who held such viciously hateful views. People WANT to forget the history, the pain and the terror that African Americans suffered in this country. Don't contribute to this.