Is it really worth it?

[Anonymous]

DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

[Anonymous]

yes

[Anonymous]

I went to a flagship public (honors college) etc. my siblings all went to top 25 privates.

I got into a few top 25 privates but they weren't HYPSMW so I didn't think it would be worth the price.

I am still thoroughly jealous of the time and opportunities that my siblings got from going to the schools they went to.

[Anonymous]

Less than 1% of the population has a bachelor's from a top 25 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Less than 1% of the population has a bachelor's from a top 25 school.

honestly in dc and nyc, sometimes it feels like 75%.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say really...depends on what your DC does with the education. For some, it it not worth it whatsoever and they would have been better off going to an in-state school. For others, it helps them get ahead.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I both went to State schools. Loved the experience and we would not change it for the world. We weren't really crazy happy when our kids wanted to apply to Ivy schools but we went along and supported them because that is what we've always done. So when they were accepted and then actually chose their schools I think that both of us felt like we got punched in the gut because it wasn't how we saw our kids or our family. We happily live a very quiet and peaceful middle class life and an Ivy school just didn't jive with the picture we had in our heads about our family. That said we are in the fortunate position that we've been successful financially so we don't qualify for any aid and pay the full freight for 2 kids now and a 3rd in the fall (he deferred one year to go on a church mission).

So, IMO, having the perspective of being a State graduate and a 2x Ivy parent, I think the caliber of the instructors can be very good at both State schools and at Ivy schools ... but I have to tell you that we are completely and absolutely blown away by what our kids are getting out of their Ivy schools. The difference is night and day in terms of the attention that is paid to them AND to us. They each have strong relationships with their advisors, their college Deans, their mentors. A completely different experience than we had at our State school. When we are on campus, we frequently will see a professor or one of the Deans; they will come over and talk to us and it is very clear that they really know our kid. The sense of history and tradition at an Ivy permeates everything our children do - far more than anything we ever experienced at our State school.

It has been a good experience for our kids and worth the money as far as we are concerned. I understand your hesitations, I had them, too, but I say go for it if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I both went to State schools. Loved the experience and we would not change it for the world. We weren't really crazy happy when our kids wanted to apply to Ivy schools but we went along and supported them because that is what we've always done. So when they were accepted and then actually chose their schools I think that both of us felt like we got punched in the gut because it wasn't how we saw our kids or our family. We happily live a very quiet and peaceful middle class life and an Ivy school just didn't jive with the picture we had in our heads about our family. That said we are in the fortunate position that we've been successful financially so we don't qualify for any aid and pay the full freight for 2 kids now and a 3rd in the fall (he deferred one year to go on a church mission).

So, IMO, having the perspective of being a State graduate and a 2x Ivy parent, I think the caliber of the instructors can be very good at both State schools and at Ivy schools ... but I have to tell you that we are completely and absolutely blown away by what our kids are getting out of their Ivy schools. The difference is night and day in terms of the attention that is paid to them AND to us. They each have strong relationships with their advisors, their college Deans, their mentors. A completely different experience than we had at our State school. When we are on campus, we frequently will see a professor or one of the Deans; they will come over and talk to us and it is very clear that they really know our kid. The sense of history and tradition at an Ivy permeates everything our children do - far more than anything we ever experienced at our State school.

It has been a good experience for our kids and worth the money as far as we are concerned. I understand your hesitations, I had them, too, but I say go for it if you can.

Thank you for this insight!

[Anonymous]

If your DC wants to get a PhD, then going to the best school they can get into will help them. PhD programs are very different than professional schools, and the elite ones can afford to be extremely selective. In my Harvard PhD program, I don't think there was a single person who did not go to an elite university or SLAC. And depending on what your DC wants to do with his/her PhD, it will matter a great deal whether they are in a top 5 program.

The above is just the reality of an academic career, which is not a great career in many ways, IMHO. Before your DC even thinks about getting a PhD, s/he should spend a lot of time figuring out what they want to do and how much education is necessary.

I loved getting my PhD, but even compared to my classmates my experience was incredibly unique due to circumstances I couldn't have guessed even when I started. Almost no one has an experience like mine. And even fewer people randomly luck out like I did where the work they did in grad school turns out to be incredibly hot in the private sector a few years after they graduate. I planned none of this; and my life would have been very different if my luck had gone a different way.

[Anonymous]

My DC is thriiving at a top 10 Ivy. The resources, level of instruction, peer group, opportunities, etc. make it absolutely, positively worth it. We had to make some sacrifices to make it work, but have no regrets whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is thriiving at a top 10 Ivy. The resources, level of instruction, peer group, opportunities, etc. make it absolutely, positively worth it. We had to make some sacrifices to make it work, but have no regrets whatsoever.

tehre's only 8 ivies!

or do you mean a top 10 school that's an ivy?

so HYPC-Penn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC is thriiving at a top 10 Ivy. The resources, level of instruction, peer group, opportunities, etc. make it absolutely, positively worth it. We had to make some sacrifices to make it work, but have no regrets whatsoever.

tehre's only 8 ivies!

or do you mean a top 10 school that's an ivy?

so HYPC-Penn

I'm well aware that there are 8 Ivies. I meant HYPCP.

[Anonymous]

I got a whole lot out of my ivy degree, and I can tell you that among the Americans in my top ten PhD program the ivies were overrepresented (a combination of selection and value added perhaps?).

However, this is a very different era than when we all went to school which means all our advice is suspect.

Here's mine, that you can feel free to ignore:

Too much debt ruins lives and limits opportunities. Kids who are scrounging around to make ends meet, who have too many jobs etc aren't doing the things they need to do to be top students. Graduating with debt will limit graduate school opportunities. For example, sometimes people do end up paying for the first year of their PhD, and you can't always count on being a TA. This happens when you believe in yourself more than the school does so you take the gamble. Very often it works out. Not in all fields. You can't do that if you are already stretched.

I can't even imagine what it would have been like to finish my PhD, not gotten the kind of job I was looking for (happens a lot) and also been saddled with a ton of debt.

19:13 has a good perspective on the crap shoot nature of a PhD. The additional point is that it really matters how you do in undergrad. Harvard did not take me for grad school, but I did get in to most of the schools outside the top three and there were plenty of state school and LAC grads. Your kid has to get the grads in undergrad. If money or experience will interfere with that, be careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC is thriiving at a top 10 Ivy. The resources, level of instruction, peer group, opportunities, etc. make it absolutely, positively worth it. We had to make some sacrifices to make it work, but have no regrets whatsoever.

tehre's only 8 ivies!

or do you mean a top 10 school that's an ivy?

so HYPC-Penn

I'm well aware that there are 8 Ivies. I meant HYPCP.

HYPCP can only mean Penn.

[Anonymous]

I went to Penn - and both of my bosses went to state schools. Different individuals thrive in different places - and many thrive at whatever school they go to.