Is it really worth it?

[Anonymous]

Being set financially means different things to different people at different times in their lives. When the OP chose private elementary school, they thought they would be working forever. Now after slogging through 12 or so years more work, retiring early sounds like more of a priority so if they can convince themselves in-state is OK then they can retire as soon as DC finishes college. Or maybe their is a health/stress issue...

I don't know what is right for them but I don't buy the idea that their DC doesn't see what they have done every day since they were 4 as a plan. Most of DC's classmates will be heading for the expensive option. A big reason NOT to do private K-12 in my opinion, but that is not my call either. OP, I say again, ASK YOUR CHILD your question, NOT DCUM.

"If you're set financially then why is this even an issue? The fact you posted about this makes me think you can't really afford the cost of the expensive undergrad. People who can truly afford private school don't have to take into consideration what they spent on elementary and high school. You shouldn't send your kids to private high school unless the local option is horrible or you have more money than you know what to do with."

[Anonymous]

I think PP's point was that, from a cost benefit perspective, WUSTL at half price might be better than a higher ranked school at full freight, because although it is not as well known by the general public, it is respected by med schools and PhD programs.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Wow there are certainly a number of people making wild assumptions on this thread. First, DC went to a private school because it was the best fit for this child. We have another child who chose to go public--different needs for different kids. Setting the child up for an Ivy was never "the plan." Giving the child the right environment to flourish was. Second, at no point did I say that we could not afford tuition. We can indeed. We are set for retirement and for the educational costs of our children. With that said, being able to afford something and being willing to throw money away unnecessarily are two very different things. Lastly, nowhere did I say that we would not send our child to the school of his/her choice. In fact, I stated the exact opposite. Education, like everything should be a value judgment. Teaching our children to make wise financial decisions is part of the responsible parenting. The question was "Is it worth it." That is pretty plain and simple. Perhaps in the future, it would be beneficial to everyone if people looked at the the stated facts instead of interjecting their own prejudices, assumptions and yes, even insecurities into a discussion. 18:59, I thank you for your perspective. It was on topic and very helpful.

[Anonymous]

What else would you spend the money on though? You can't take it with you.

In my mind if you have the money and you don't have to make sacrifices (such as taking out student loans, reduced retirement savings, scrimping on vacations, etc.), then yes, it's definitely worth it.

I mean, haven't you been saving for this express purpose? What else would you do with the money?

[Anonymous]

For those saying that an Ivy is worth it compared to a state school, would you say the same about top small liberal arts college?

My DD was admitted to Swarthmore. Her other option right now is a much lower ranked private (still small compared to a state school, but not as small as Swarthmore). She is getting cold feet about Swarthmore because she has heard the stories of it being a depressive environment with an insane work load. She has no plans to get a PhD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC was in the same position. Some Ivy acceptances but only modest aid, could have gone to any public other than the top few with a full ride, or any school below #75 or so with a full ride.

He ultimately chose to attend WUSTL because they offered 50% off as merit aid, and the experience has been great so far.

Of course, it does not have the name recognition of the Ivy's. But the people who matter (admissions for med school or PhD program) know that it is a great school, even if most people have never heard of it.

I think Rice and Northwestern and a few other schools are in the same category - they still offer merit aid and a great education but are not quite as well known as the Ivy's or Stanford or Chicago.

But, they will provide the same opportunities for grad school admission down the road.

Northwestern is definitely as well known as Chicago and Stanford. Meghan Markle went there and it is always mentioned when people write about her. WUSTL has a high ranking but outside of that, I don't think many people have heard of it. Turning down Northwestern, UC, or Stanford for WUSTL would be foolish.

My DC turned down Northwestern and Harvard for UMD-CP, because of money. He didn't get enough non-loan aid to make it possible to send him without incurring a lot of debt.

He is in his late 20s now and doing very well. Hard to imagine he'd have done better going anywhere else, actually.

[Anonymous]

If you can pay for it yes. If it means going into debt no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those saying that an Ivy is worth it compared to a state school, would you say the same about top small liberal arts college?

My DD was admitted to Swarthmore. Her other option right now is a much lower ranked private (still small compared to a state school, but not as small as Swarthmore). She is getting cold feet about Swarthmore because she has heard the stories of it being a depressive environment with an insane work load. She has no plans to get a PhD.

I don't feel the same way about SLACs. Even the best have very limited resources compared to major research universities and the focus on teaching/absence of grad students means that they don't retain faculty who are doing cutting-edge work and are being continually intellectually challenged. For a kid who is not going into academia, that may not matter. But if the selling point of a SLAC is its focus on undergrad education, then why on earth should there be an insane workload? If what you get out of college is a credential, better reading/writing/thinking skills, an exposure to a range of different fields, and a love of learning (or, more prosaically, the skills to figure out what you need to know and how to learn it), none of that requires an oppressive workload.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying that an Ivy is worth it compared to a state school, would you say the same about top small liberal arts college?

My DD was admitted to Swarthmore. Her other option right now is a much lower ranked private (still small compared to a state school, but not as small as Swarthmore). She is getting cold feet about Swarthmore because she has heard the stories of it being a depressive environment with an insane work load. She has no plans to get a PhD.

I don't feel the same way about SLACs. Even the best have very limited resources compared to major research universities and the focus on teaching/absence of grad students means that they don't retain faculty who are doing cutting-edge work and are being continually intellectually challenged. For a kid who is not going into academia, that may not matter. But if the selling point of a SLAC is its focus on undergrad education, then why on earth should there be an insane workload? If what you get out of college is a credential, better reading/writing/thinking skills, an exposure to a range of different fields, and a love of learning (or, more prosaically, the skills to figure out what you need to know and how to learn it), none of that requires an oppressive workload.

Swarthmore grad here. Swarthmore definitely has an oppressive workload.

[Anonymous]

Any idea why? What was in it for whom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying that an Ivy is worth it compared to a state school, would you say the same about top small liberal arts college?

My DD was admitted to Swarthmore. Her other option right now is a much lower ranked private (still small compared to a state school, but not as small as Swarthmore). She is getting cold feet about Swarthmore because she has heard the stories of it being a depressive environment with an insane work load. She has no plans to get a PhD.

I don't feel the same way about SLACs. Even the best have very limited resources compared to major research universities and the focus on teaching/absence of grad students means that they don't retain faculty who are doing cutting-edge work and are being continually intellectually challenged. For a kid who is not going into academia, that may not matter. But if the selling point of a SLAC is its focus on undergrad education, then why on earth should there be an insane workload? If what you get out of college is a credential, better reading/writing/thinking skills, an exposure to a range of different fields, and a love of learning (or, more prosaically, the skills to figure out what you need to know and how to learn it), none of that requires an oppressive workload.

Swarthmore grad here. Swarthmore definitely has an oppressive workload.

But was it worth it for you? Are you glad you went there vs a lower ranked / less intense school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying that an Ivy is worth it compared to a state school, would you say the same about top small liberal arts college?

My DD was admitted to Swarthmore. Her other option right now is a much lower ranked private (still small compared to a state school, but not as small as Swarthmore). She is getting cold feet about Swarthmore because she has heard the stories of it being a depressive environment with an insane work load. She has no plans to get a PhD.

I don't feel the same way about SLACs. Even the best have very limited resources compared to major research universities and the focus on teaching/absence of grad students means that they don't retain faculty who are doing cutting-edge work and are being continually intellectually challenged. For a kid who is not going into academia, that may not matter. But if the selling point of a SLAC is its focus on undergrad education, then why on earth should there be an insane workload? If what you get out of college is a credential, better reading/writing/thinking skills, an exposure to a range of different fields, and a love of learning (or, more prosaically, the skills to figure out what you need to know and how to learn it), none of that requires an oppressive workload.

Swarthmore grad here. Swarthmore definitely has an oppressive workload.

But was it worth it for you? Are you glad you went there vs a lower ranked / less intense school?

Absolutely worth it for me. But I received a very generous financial aid package and I studied engineering.

The attention that I received is something you won't get at public universities. Most of my engineering classes had 5-10 people; there were no TA's. Professors were primarily focused on teaching, not their own research.

If I had to pay full ride, I would still go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those saying that an Ivy is worth it compared to a state school, would you say the same about top small liberal arts college?

My DD was admitted to Swarthmore. Her other option right now is a much lower ranked private (still small compared to a state school, but not as small as Swarthmore). She is getting cold feet about Swarthmore because she has heard the stories of it being a depressive environment with an insane work load. She has no plans to get a PhD.

I don't feel the same way about SLACs. Even the best have very limited resources compared to major research universities and the focus on teaching/absence of grad students means that they don't retain faculty who are doing cutting-edge work and are being continually intellectually challenged. For a kid who is not going into academia, that may not matter. But if the selling point of a SLAC is its focus on undergrad education, then why on earth should there be an insane workload? If what you get out of college is a credential, better reading/writing/thinking skills, an exposure to a range of different fields, and a love of learning (or, more prosaically, the skills to figure out what you need to know and how to learn it), none of that requires an oppressive workload.

Swarthmore grad here. Swarthmore definitely has an oppressive workload.

But was it worth it for you? Are you glad you went there vs a lower ranked / less intense school?

Absolutely worth it for me. But I received a very generous financial aid package and I studied engineering.

The attention that I received is something you won't get at public universities. Most of my engineering classes had 5-10 people; there were no TA's. Professors were primarily focused on teaching, not their own research.

If I had to pay full ride, I would still go.

sibling went to swat and hated a lot of it - but realizes it opened doors and she would've just partied non-stop at our flagship state even though it was the 'honors program'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC was in the same position. Some Ivy acceptances but only modest aid, could have gone to any public other than the top few with a full ride, or any school below #75 or so with a full ride.

He ultimately chose to attend WUSTL because they offered 50% off as merit aid, and the experience has been great so far.

Of course, it does not have the name recognition of the Ivy's. But the people who matter (admissions for med school or PhD program) know that it is a great school, even if most people have never heard of it.

I think Rice and Northwestern and a few other schools are in the same category - they still offer merit aid and a great education but are not quite as well known as the Ivy's or Stanford or Chicago.

But, they will provide the same opportunities for grad school admission down the road.

Northwestern is definitely as well known as Chicago and Stanford. Meghan Markle went there and it is always mentioned when people write about her. WUSTL has a high ranking but outside of that, I don't think many people have heard of it. Turning down Northwestern, UC, or Stanford for WUSTL would be foolish.

My DC turned down Northwestern and Harvard for UMD-CP, because of money. He didn't get enough non-loan aid to make it possible to send him without incurring a lot of debt.

He is in his late 20s now and doing very well. Hard to imagine he'd have done better going anywhere else, actually.

This is reality. Many students who are high stats don't even apply to top private schools because their parents know that they will not be able to pay $67,000 a year and they won't be getting financial aid. Flagship universities across the country are full of high achieving students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wow there are certainly a number of people making wild assumptions on this thread. First, DC went to a private school because it was the best fit for this child. We have another child who chose to go public--different needs for different kids. Setting the child up for an Ivy was never "the plan." Giving the child the right environment to flourish was. Second, at no point did I say that we could not afford tuition. We can indeed. We are set for retirement and for the educational costs of our children. With that said, being able to afford something and being willing to throw money away unnecessarily are two very different things. Lastly, nowhere did I say that we would not send our child to the school of his/her choice. In fact, I stated the exact opposite. Education, like everything should be a value judgment. Teaching our children to make wise financial decisions is part of the responsible parenting. The question was "Is it worth it." That is pretty plain and simple. Perhaps in the future, it would be beneficial to everyone if people looked at the the stated facts instead of interjecting their own prejudices, assumptions and yes, even insecurities into a discussion. 18:59, I thank you for your perspective. It was on topic and very helpful.

Education is never throwing away money. I think you know that and I think you answered your own question with your post. What stood out to me was your acknowledgement that you are first gen and I think there may be a bit of a class disconnect/cognitive dissonance on spending money on college. That said, don't be too hard on people on this thread. It is really confusing to me that you have been paying for a private all this time and are suddenly gun shy about college when it sounds like your ducks are all in a row financially. This raises the question: what is actually going on? Do you want reassurance? Confirmation? Are you worried that an expensive SLAC isn't a good fit vs a large state school?