Is it really worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a nmsf. #1 in class at academically rigorous private. All the right extracurriculars, internships, national and international awards to be competitive at Ivy and top private schools. We will be paying full freight--absolutely no aid. We can do so, but DH and I are first generation to go to college, do a cost benefit analysis for everything and have spent years supporting family members. We have a 529 plan for DC which would pay for excellent state school in this area but are not the best schools for DC's likely majors--plans to double major. DC has applied to said schools as "likely" admissions. If DC is admitted to Ivy or Ivy-lite is it really worth paying $65000 a year on top of the $250,000 we have already paid for grammar school and high school? This seems so crazy, and yet, DC has worked hard to get to this spot. What would you do? DC will likely ultimately seek a PhD so there are a lot of years of school ahead.

Your mistake has already been made. You spent the college money on grammar school and high school! I pray you don't live in a good school district!

It was not a mistake at all. The best decision we could have ever made for DC and we would do it again in a heartbeat. We are simply gathering information regarding whether another $250,000 for college will be similarly "worth it."

It's probably MORE worth it than private elementary school! College actually matters and can help you land a job after school. I'd spend money on college before private elementary school.

You remind me of my inlaws though. They would say the same thing. They spent at least 500k educating each child. My parents spent $0. I have done just as well, if not better, than my husband. My inlaws think it was worth the money and they are better parents because of it. Yet they can't afford to retire.

Wow. So defensive. Retirement is not an issue, but thank you for the concern. Most parents try to do what is right for their children and public vs. private is just one of the many decisions we make as parents. Neither is a better choice for everyone only a better choice for a particular child. You sound very angry and resentful.

If you're set financially then why is this even an issue? The fact you posted about this makes me think you can't really afford the cost of the expensive undergrad. People who can truly afford private school don't have to take into consideration what they spent on elementary and high school. You shouldn't send your kids to private high school unless the local option is horrible or you have more money than you know what to do with.

[Anonymous]

How is it that you had the money to send your kid to private k-12 but not for a private college? Isn't that, like, the whole point of doing private k-12??

If you do have the money, which I strongly suspect you do, what else do you have to spend it on that's more important? A beach house??

I genuinely don't get this question coming from a person like you. Honestly seems like MUD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you set for retirement ? If you aren't then your child needs to take out loans to cover the difference.

I don't have helpful personal experience, but retirement was my question too. OP, it sounds like you can afford an ivy league school for your child without much sacrifice on your end. If that were the case for me, I'd definitely let them attend the Ivy. One thing you may want to consider is whether you could afford to help your child with grad school/PhD program after Ivy undergrad. If you can't do both, you could give your child the option of paying for undergrad AND grad school if child doesn't choose Ivy undergrad or paying for undergrad only at Ivy. If you can afford to pay for everything AND retire, then let your child choose the Ivy if that is what he wants.

[Anonymous]

This is so ridiculous. My kids are little and when they go to college, it's estimated that it'll cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $400k total. Still "worth" it to me! I pray that they get accepted at an amazing and expensive school so that we have this kind of "problem" to deal with!

Also FYI that is why you are supposed to save and invest ahead of time! So you don't have to ask this question when your kid is 17 and has been accepted to their dream school. DUH. Huge eye roll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it that you had the money to send your kid to private k-12 but not for a private college? Isn't that, like, the whole point of doing private k-12??

If you do have the money, which I strongly suspect you do, what else do you have to spend it on that's more important? A beach house??

I genuinely don't get this question coming from a person like you. Honestly seems like MUD.

I think this too. FAKE. Just trying to rile people up.

Next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it that you had the money to send your kid to private k-12 but not for a private college? Isn't that, like, the whole point of doing private k-12??

If you do have the money, which I strongly suspect you do, what else do you have to spend it on that's more important? A beach house??

I genuinely don't get this question coming from a person like you. Honestly seems like MUD.

I think this too. FAKE. Just trying to rile people up.

Next.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Parent of 3 NMF/NMS here.

State flagship is fine but he will have to be more "aggressive" searching opportunities (lab to join, internships...etc.) and maintain high GPA. State schools have no "hand-holding" by administration staff. It is very much sink or swim approach. Some people like it, some don't. If he is able to do all the right things - high GPA, internships, and/or lab work, he will be able to get into top grad programs, most likely fully funded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of 3 NMF/NMS here.

State flagship is fine but he will have to be more "aggressive" searching opportunities (lab to join, internships...etc.) and maintain high GPA. State schools have no "hand-holding" by administration staff. It is very much sink or swim approach. Some people like it, some don't. If he is able to do all the right things - high GPA, internships, and/or lab work, he will be able to get into top grad programs, most likely fully funded.

fwiw I went to a highly ranked private university (not Ivy but still top 20) and there was no hand holding there either when it came to getting a job. Internships were a little easier but they were all unpaid so why wouldn't it be. However, that was over 10 years ago so maybe things have changed. I doubt it though.

[Anonymous]

In a purely financial/return on investment kind of way, most Ivies probably aren't really worth it for most smart/hard-working upper middle class white kids.

That said, if you have a would-be academic on your hands, and you can afford the tuition without sacrificing something important (or saddling yourselves or him with significant debt), and your DC gets admitted to a top school with world-class departments in the fields that interest him, then it's worth it in the sense that he'll get an amazing education, be more competitive for top PhD programs, and have a realistic sense of what he's getting into. So if the best case scenario doesn't seem appealing, he'll know he needs to look elsewhere.

At least that's been our take wrt our own kid. She's wildly happy being in an environment where intellectual pursuits are the center of gravity and are approached with a kind of seriousness/ambition/dedication she hasn't seen before. DD was a "top student" at a "top local private" where the claim is college will be easy by comparison. BS -- if you pick the right university and approach the work with the right attitude. I don't think that Ivies or privates have a lock on being "the right university" -- just that, odds are, your default public (vs an OOS public chosen based on programs/interests) isn't that school.

Bottom line, if you thought that the difference in the education your son got by virtue of going to private school K-12 was worth the tuition, then yes, it probably will be worth it to you to pay for him to get a mind-blowingly good undergraduate education if he gets into a school that offers one. Especially given the kind of kid he is and the kind of goals he has.

[Anonymous]

Some people don't want to waste money even if they can afford to. Why is that so hard to understand? And while the differences in resources between public and private K-12 options may be quite apparent, the differences among major research universities (public and private) may not be -- especially to parents who got very good educations at public universities.

[Anonymous]

PhD is unlikely to cost. Full funding (with research and teaching obligations and/or opportunities) is the norm for top programs and if you don't get it, you probably shouldn't go.

If there's likely to be a professional school in the mix, then saving for that might make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it that you had the money to send your kid to private k-12 but not for a private college? Isn't that, like, the whole point of doing private k-12??

If you do have the money, which I strongly suspect you do, what else do you have to spend it on that's more important? A beach house??

I genuinely don't get this question coming from a person like you. Honestly seems like MUD.

I think this too. FAKE. Just trying to rile people up.

Next.

+1.

+2

[Anonymous]

no, you seem to be doing pretty well, did you go to that type of school?

[Anonymous]

My DC was in the same position. Some Ivy acceptances but only modest aid, could have gone to any public other than the top few with a full ride, or any school below #75 or so with a full ride.

He ultimately chose to attend WUSTL because they offered 50% off as merit aid, and the experience has been great so far.

Of course, it does not have the name recognition of the Ivy's. But the people who matter (admissions for med school or PhD program) know that it is a great school, even if most people have never heard of it.

I think Rice and Northwestern and a few other schools are in the same category - they still offer merit aid and a great education but are not quite as well known as the Ivy's or Stanford or Chicago.

But, they will provide the same opportunities for grad school admission down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC was in the same position. Some Ivy acceptances but only modest aid, could have gone to any public other than the top few with a full ride, or any school below #75 or so with a full ride.

He ultimately chose to attend WUSTL because they offered 50% off as merit aid, and the experience has been great so far.

Of course, it does not have the name recognition of the Ivy's. But the people who matter (admissions for med school or PhD program) know that it is a great school, even if most people have never heard of it.

I think Rice and Northwestern and a few other schools are in the same category - they still offer merit aid and a great education but are not quite as well known as the Ivy's or Stanford or Chicago.

But, they will provide the same opportunities for grad school admission down the road.

Northwestern is definitely as well known as Chicago and Stanford. Meghan Markle went there and it is always mentioned when people write about her. WUSTL has a high ranking but outside of that, I don't think many people have heard of it. Turning down Northwestern, UC, or Stanford for WUSTL would be foolish.