If you came forward as a victim of abuse, did family believe you?

[Anonymous]

I outed my father as a sexual abuser - inadvertently, I might add. (I confronted him and instead of responding he cleverly told many members of my extended family what I was "accusing" him of.) As a result, I received nasty emails from family members calling me crazy and a liar. I no longer have a relationship with anyone on his side of the family. I am friends with two other women who experienced sexual abuse at the hands of family members as children and they, too, were not believed.

Just curious what the experience has been like for others.

[Anonymous]

Pfff...I wish.
I have learned that I was raised by clueless asshats. Maybe they meant well, but boy did they fall down on the job.

I'm sorry about this, OP. It's painful and awful. I think (I hope) I'm doing better with my own family, and the chosen family of close friends.

[Anonymous]

Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Write this post? This happened over the summer.

[Anonymous]

I kept telling my mother over and over and she kept refusing to hear me . I haven't talked to her since I was 16. She's never met either of my kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry this happened to you OP (and to other posters) - to be abused not only by a predator but again by family who deny it happened is monstrous. I believe you and am praying for your healing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Whenever the victim feels ready to do this, it's time. Abusers don't get a say, and protecting "happy family time" when one member of the family is suffering deeply is monstrous. It is deeply evil to value the lie of a happy family over protecting and comforting a victim of sexual abuse.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry your father and your family have reacted so terribly.

When I came forward about physical abuse, I was told "we thought you were over it." I felt like I had two choices: to cut ties with all of them, which would be hard as I am single and have few supports, or to limit my contact with the formerly abusive person and interact with the rest of my family knowing they did not respect me and what I went through.

I chose the latter, but it costs me a lot emotionally, especially at the holidays. Estrangement is painful, too. Unfortunately there is no easy answer.

[Anonymous]

Both my sister and I told my mother when were were early teens that our stepfather had been molesting us for years. She didn't believe us. They're still married. we have very little contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Whenever the victim feels ready to do this, it's time. Abusers don't get a say, and protecting "happy family time" when one member of the family is suffering deeply is monstrous. It is deeply evil to value the lie of a happy family over protecting and comforting a victim of sexual abuse.

You don't get to ruin thanksgiving dinner because you were abused.

If you can't handle that stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Whenever the victim feels ready to do this, it's time. Abusers don't get a say, and protecting "happy family time" when one member of the family is suffering deeply is monstrous. It is deeply evil to value the lie of a happy family over protecting and comforting a victim of sexual abuse.

You don't get to ruin thanksgiving dinner because you were abused.

If you can't handle that stay home.

You sure do get to ruin it if it suits you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Write this post? This happened over the summer.

Are you the poster who did this without the support of your therapist?

I'm sorry your family didn't believe you and rejected you this is often a sad outcome.

But, as you were told in your last thread you can't force people to react a certain way. You do have control over you life now and you interactions with them, Go back to therapy!

[Anonymous]

Never have because I doubt my mom would believe me. My dad would've killed the guy (literally), and I didn't want my dad going to jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Whenever the victim feels ready to do this, it's time. Abusers don't get a say, and protecting "happy family time" when one member of the family is suffering deeply is monstrous. It is deeply evil to value the lie of a happy family over protecting and comforting a victim of sexual abuse.

You don't get to ruin thanksgiving dinner because you were abused.

If you can't handle that stay home.

Hi Mom! Be sure to be somewhere else when stepdad goes into the bathroom with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving and family holidays is not the time to do this.

Whenever the victim feels ready to do this, it's time. Abusers don't get a say, and protecting "happy family time" when one member of the family is suffering deeply is monstrous. It is deeply evil to value the lie of a happy family over protecting and comforting a victim of sexual abuse.

You don't get to ruin thanksgiving dinner because you were abused.

If you can't handle that stay home.

You sure do get to ruin it if it suits you.

Yes 6 year old cousin Larla needs to her about how uncleBOb touched you over pumpkin pie o you can heal.

I'm sure that's what your therapist recommends.