Too early for shower?

[Anonymous]

I'm Jewish so my family won't be planning a shower and I really don't know much about how/when to do one, but my husband's family wants throw us a shower and I'm fine with it. Only problem is that half of his family lives (far) out of town and the only time everyone can get together prior to my January due date is this August. At that point I will only be about 15 weeks, which seems early for a shower. It will be pretty much all family invited so hopefully they will understand, but it still seems strange to me to do it so early. Is it too weird?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think that is a little too early. You won't be showing yet and you won't know the sex... it's still really early days at 15 weeks.

[Anonymous]

I don't think not knowing the gender or not showing yet is any reason not to have a shower (I had my shower at 7 months and was barely showing then!), but I personally would not do a shower at 15 weeks. Everyone is different though, so I can only tell you how I felt. At 15 weeks I was still heaving sighs of relief that we'd made it through the first trimester without any problems and I didn't want us to "jinx" ourselves with a shower before we got at least halfway through our pregnancy and to the point where I could at least feel baby moving and so on. Is there really no other time to do the shower? In this case, you can only decide for yourself. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

[Anonymous]

OP here--there is really no other time. My husband's parents are divorced and both sides need to be included. (It would be a co-ed shower.) His dad, stepmom, and 3 siblings live on the west coast. They come back for the summer and usually for Xmas, but this year they are going to skip Xmas and just come after the baby is born. The only other option is to not do it at all.

[Anonymous]

OP again--we're not going to find out the gender so that won't be an issue.

[Anonymous]

If they want to have a shower and it's the only time they can do it, then it's perfect. I wouldn't worry about etiquette, because it's a family thing and that's what they want. You probably won't have even started making a registry at that point, though.

THe only real issue is whether YOU are comfortable with that. Nobody here can tell you that.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with others who say go for it - showers should be about celebrating with friends and family the future arrival of a new baby. Period. I know there is a LOT of debate over the gift/registry part but at the end of the day, if someone wants to throw you a celebration that includes both sides of the family and YOU are fine with this and timing just happens to be best when you're 15 weeks along, well - so what? I don't think it's weird and personally, if I were on the invite list, I'd be delighted to be included in the celebration of the future arrival.

[Anonymous]

This is PP who questioned if there was really no other time. It sounds like you really want to participate in the shower, which wasn't as clear from your first post (it seemed like you were reluctant). I think this is one of those things that REALLY could go either way and it's all down to how you feel. We don't know our baby's gender and don't plan to find out, yet managed to have two perfectly lovely showers. And as for not showing, who cares? Etiquette, in my opinion, is a guideline to make human, social interaction more pleasant and shouldn't be this hard and fast rule that prevents you from doing what you want and what your family wants to do for you. If this is truly the only time you can do it, and his family is excited to do it, and you are filled with pleasure at the thought of it, go for it! Now, that said, if you feel reluctant, then don't do it. You can still register (not that it sounds like you're after gifts, but people will no doubt ask your in-laws if you've registered and if they can buy you something) and of course you can always consider a shower after baby gets here (though I nixed that idea with my family because I knew I'd buy everything I needed myself and didn't want to have to worry about pressure to pass my newborn around a large group of friends and family before I was ready to do that). Follow your own heart and head, and see what your husband says. But don't not do it because of etiquette or how it's "supposed" to be done.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it at 15 weeks, as I think it's pretty early. I still consider that barely pregnant.

[Anonymous]

IMO, its too early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do it at 15 weeks, as I think it's pretty early. I still consider that barely pregnant.

Not OP, but I can't let that one pass. Barely pregnant? 15 weeks is over a third of the way there. I guess you are entitled to your opinion, but I most certainly did not feel "barely pregnant" when I was 15 months and find that kind of offensive to hear. Pregnancy is kind of a yes / no equation; you either are or are not pregnant; there aren't degrees of it. Sure, at 15 weeks she's probably not going to be showing, but pregnancy is about more than a big belly...!

[Anonymous]

Amen on the last post. Barely pregnant? Fact is your miscarriage rate has plumeted and while of course you never know what can happen, that's the point -[i] you NEVER KNOW. OP, you are no less pregnant at 15 weeks!!

[Anonymous]

Personally, I still felt barely pregnant at 15 weeks.

[Anonymous]

I say do it early, better that then run into my problem where I'm having to travel 2 hours for mine at 35 weeks.

[Anonymous]

If it's the only time, then do it.

I feel like I wasted so much time worrying throughout my pregnancy and not enough time enjoying it. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was elated and yet miscarriage statistics were floating around in my head.

We had a few family celebrations early on in my pregnancy (unrelated to me and my baby, stuff like niece's christening, Christmas, niece's first birthday, etc. ) and everyone was so happy for us at all the events, and brought us little baby things, etc. - but each celebration I would leave and feel so ill - "what if everyone was so happy for us and it all blows up in our face?"

You have to enjoy these moments. You are not barely pregnant, you are 100% pregnant - and you and your family deserve to celebrate, especially if it is their only chance!