Too early for shower?

[Anonymous]

I held a shower for a friend who was ~15 weeks because it was the only time during her pregnancy she would be visiting the East Coast and we really wanted to celebrate her. She and I are both super happy I did it. I think people's concerns are re: miscarriage. If you are not worried about that, then go for it.

I requested my own baby shower be held when I was 30 weeks and some people gave me a hard time because I wouldn't be big enough/it was too early/etc. I am glad I held it then b/c I wanted to have everything set up for my baby before my 3rd trimester so I could rest at the end and socialize--or be uncomfortable.

I think you should do whatever works for you and your partner and have fun!

[Anonymous]

NP here, I agree w/ the PP who suggested doing something once the baby arrives and the family comes to visit.

[Anonymous]

I also feel 15 weeks is quite early. I hadn't even told anyone at work at 15 weeks. At that point, you are not showing yet and can't feel kicks -- likely you are less emotionally ready that early than when you've got a nice bump, have the comfort of a successful 20 week anatomy check/ultrasound. Also, people often wait until after 24 weeks bc that is when baby is viable.

Why the hostility twds ladies who are more conservative? It's not paranoia when concerns are founded. If someone feels more cautious about when to tell, and about protecting their own emotions, folks should respect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also feel 15 weeks is quite early. I hadn't even told anyone at work at 15 weeks. At that point, you are not showing yet and can't feel kicks -- likely you are less emotionally ready that early than when you've got a nice bump, have the comfort of a successful 20 week anatomy check/ultrasound. Also, people often wait until after 24 weeks bc that is when baby is viable.

Why the hostility twds ladies who are more conservative? It's not paranoia when concerns are founded. If someone feels more cautious about when to tell, and about protecting their own emotions, folks should respect that.

The difference here, though, is that it's now or never. Her family will not be around for the end of the pregnancy - they will not be around, according to her post, later than 15 weeks.

Yes, ideally you would have a shower later but this is a unique situation.

[Anonymous]

If you are ready to share and celebrate your pregnancy with family and friends, then by all means do it!! The only reason a shower would be "too early" would be if YOU felt it was too early to really enjoy the celebration (miscarriage worries, not feeling 'connected' to the pregnancy yet, etc.). I had a family-only shower at 13 weeks because it was the only time I could get together with my aunts and cousins and it was wonderful. It would have been a big loss if we had not had the chance to celebrate the pregnancy together. In my opinion, waiting until the baby is born is just not the same thing. You will be exhausted and overwhelmed, and all the focus will be on the baby, not you. Baby showers are a celebration of the expectant mom, a time to make her feel loved and supported by friends and family. Don't pass up that chance because of some abstract notion of "too soon".

[Anonymous]

this is a personal decision, of course, by although I probably wouldn't have a shower at 15 weeks (i'm in denial at 18 weeks!) if you want a shower with your family, do it now. If others raise an eyebrow, you can simply say this was the only practical time.

I think the miscarriage thing is not really the issue, or shouldn't be. If one has a miscarriage, it is any more or less heartbreaking that one's friends and families had gotten together to celebrate the pregnancy? Maybe more poignant, but I doubt more painful. Loss is loss. Personally I never told anyone about being pregnant before miscarriage #1 (at 8 weeks) but after I realized I needed to tell a few friends what had happened, because I wanted the support and didn't want to go through it alone.

Anyway, being surrounded by loving people who are excited for you--that can't really hurt at any stage.

[Anonymous]

Go for it--having the people you love and who love you around for it is the most important thing--not some dumb social custom.

I hope all the people who are saying that you have to wait returned any baby gifts they got before the baby was viable/before they were showing/before 9 months.

[Anonymous]

I'm not at all into the baby shower idea, but I think you should go ahead and have one at 15 weeks if you want to have one and you want to do it with your family. Who cares how far along you are? If you want to celebrate the fact that you are pregnant, does it really matter when you do it? People are such sticklers about tradition. Just do what works for you and your family, and given you won't be seeing them again until the baby is born, have your shower and enjoy the imminent arrival of your baby with them while you can!