Things that are unintentional status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Irish people throw good weddings too!

I like Slovenian and Croatian weddings. They pass out shots as everyone leaves the church.

And there are generally upwards of 500 guests doing whatever their regional version of the polka is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, you are a perfect candidate for a "bless your heart."

Additionally, most old school southerners don't have multi-course sit down dinner receptions (nor do they use the phrase "surf and turf").

Indeed, that was for YOUR benefit, little poseur. Figured it was a phrase you would be all too familiar with as you clearly dont go to many nice weddings, espcially not ones in the South.

South and "nice wedding" never go together. Southerns think it is appropriate to serve punch and cake to 300 people standing around in sweltering heat. If it is really fancy, there is a nasty red velvet groom's cake, too.

Been watching Steel Magnolias again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, you are a perfect candidate for a "bless your heart."

Additionally, most old school southerners don't have multi-course sit down dinner receptions (nor do they use the phrase "surf and turf").

Indeed, that was for YOUR benefit, little poseur. Figured it was a phrase you would be all too familiar with as you clearly dont go to many nice weddings, espcially not ones in the South.

South and "nice wedding" never go together. Southerns think it is appropriate to serve punch and cake to 300 people standing around in sweltering heat. If it is really fancy, there is a nasty red velvet groom's cake, too.

Been watching Steel Magnolias again?

Sadly, no. Been to too many southern weddings. What a disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

I guess there's the unintentional status part of it. I assume people have their own stationery and stamps and using them isn't a hardship. Phones work too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

Better to show your old-money crustiness than to make it simple for your guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Irish people throw good weddings too!

I like Slovenian and Croatian weddings. They pass out shots as everyone leaves the church.

And there are generally upwards of 500 guests doing whatever their regional version of the polka is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPfeOAhDfbM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. Yup. This is a New England thing, though, I think. I'm from CT so I get this (though, sadly, I'm not one of the lucky ones). But yeah, we have friends with old family homes on the Vineyard and random little islands in Maine. They wear LL Bean fleeces all summer at said cottages (which are always extremely low-key, weathered, and rustic but at the same time perfectly tasteful and of obvious quality that has aged well). Old Volvos and Saabs and, back in the day, Jeep Wagoneers (remember those? LOVE). Very little jewelry or makeup, but they're always in shape so they can pull of the sporty look well. They ski, they sail, they know art, and they have interesting names for their grandparents. Point being, they don't have to broadcast their money with more high-end fleeces or white elephant summer homes. The low-key approach broadcasts their privilege and family background much more effectively to those who understand the code. I actually find it more refreshing than the flashiness around DC.

YES!!!!!!! Nailed it.

WASP virtues: quality over flash, intelligence over flash, quiet beauty over flash

Wonderfully said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

Oh please, in today's world, people will shoot off a text "Hey, Larlo and I will be there!! xoxoxox" as the official reply. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Irish people throw good weddings too!

I like Slovenian and Croatian weddings. They pass out shots as everyone leaves the church.

And there are generally upwards of 500 guests doing whatever their regional version of the polka is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPfeOAhDfbM

See also: The Deer Hunter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

I guess there's the unintentional status part of it. I assume people have their own stationery and stamps and using them isn't a hardship. Phones work too.

I'm one of the PP's who is accustomed to the no RSP card included however, in today's society including an RSVP with an addressed stamped envelope is not that bad really. Many guests would be left wondering where to even mail the RSVP with many couples no longer living with their parents or paying for the wedding themselves. Traditionally, the brides parents were the hosts and therefore RSVP's would be mailed to this address. This just isn't the case anymore and I don't think it matters. The food option however is a bit off the mark but I don't really care. Its just nice to receive an invitation, to RSVP and include a note on the back of the card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

Must be a DC thing, where I'm from women stay at home with husbands that make 40k a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

I guess there's the unintentional status part of it. I assume people have their own stationery and stamps and using them isn't a hardship. Phones work too.

I'm one of the PP's who is accustomed to the no RSP card included however, in today's society including an RSVP with an addressed stamped envelope is not that bad really. Many guests would be left wondering where to even mail the RSVP with many couples no longer living with their parents or paying for the wedding themselves. Traditionally, the brides parents were the hosts and therefore RSVP's would be mailed to this address. This just isn't the case anymore and I don't think it matters. The food option however is a bit off the mark but I don't really care. Its just nice to receive an invitation, to RSVP and include a note on the back of the card.

The invitation says (should say) who is throwing the wedding. You send the reply to them.

[Anonymous]

The punch & cake weddings I have been to have been in the Midwest.

The Southern weddings I have been to featured an open bar and a band, not a DJ. Basically, Episcopalians bringing 300 of their closest friends to the country club.

(And I am sure response cards are easier, but I do not understand why rsvp-ing to a wedding is so much harder than responding to any other invitation, assuming you reply to those.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these -

" 4-yo birthday, "No gifts but would appreciate donation to xyz charity" "

Thanks, that was my post. I didn't think it was status-y, but I'm succumbing to the gifts after reading that thread and hearing my MIL's opinion.