Things that are unintentional status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Some of you all have been to some really low rent Southern weddings. You are missing out.

PP above is more like it - Southern weddings I have been to are HUGE elegant affairs with open bars, incredible bands, tons of food of every kind, flowers everywhere, and always at the country club or even better, out at the family's sprawling old country place under a big white tent (with ac if in summer) on the gorgeous rolling green manicured lawn. Utterly gorgeous flowers, millions of well groomed wait staff and all the guests in black tie (sometimes even white tie). Not a red velvet cake in sight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all have been to some really low rent Southern weddings. You are missing out.

PP above is more like it - Southern weddings I have been to are HUGE elegant affairs with open bars, incredible bands, tons of food of every kind, flowers everywhere, and always at the country club or even better, out at the family's sprawling old country place under a big white tent (with ac if in summer) on the gorgeous rolling green manicured lawn. Utterly gorgeous flowers, millions of well groomed wait staff and all the guests in black tie (sometimes even white tie). Not a red velvet cake in sight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sitting down with your own personal stationary to write a nice note saying what you would like for dinner at a wedding -- now that is having too much extra time.

I do that, and I work full time and sleep 8 hours a night. I don't have time for TV, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The meal-selection reply card is a necessity in today. There are too many people who are GF, vegetarian, pescetarian, etc.

If it's classless to make sure your guests needs are accommodated, so be it. I'd rather be classless than say "oh, you don't get to eat because some granny on DCUM said meal selection/reply cards are declasse."

Thankfully, your kind are dying out and there are far fewer sticks-in-asses these days.

Too many tacky people, you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, you are a perfect candidate for a "bless your heart."

Additionally, most old school southerners don't have multi-course sit down dinner receptions (nor do they use the phrase "surf and turf").

Indeed, that was for YOUR benefit, little poseur. Figured it was a phrase you would be all too familiar with as you clearly dont go to many nice weddings, espcially not ones in the South.

South and "nice wedding" never go together. Southerns think it is appropriate to serve punch and cake to 300 people standing around in sweltering heat. If it is really fancy, there is a nasty red velvet groom's cake, too.

I like those kinds of receptions. I like them better than sit-down meals where you have to make awkward small talk with relatives that you haven't seen in years and then pray that the DJ is decent. Stand-up receptions are more like a garden party and less like a terrible Thanksgiving dinner.

Stand up receptions are cheap and short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hopelessly middle class because I don't think it is very polite or well mannered to shrug off the possibility of confusing your guests when sending out invitations. These are people who you *want* to come. If most people expect reply cards, then I think you should send them, regardless of what the tradition might have been fifty years ago.

I am middle class and I don't think it's polite or well-mannered not to respond to an invitation. If there's no card, figure something out.

Why not just make it easy for them to reply though (reply card + stamped envelope)? I just think it is dumb and pointless to insist on people replying on their own stationary.

First of all, it's stationery, not stationary, and having and using your own personal stationEry is the epitome of classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these -

" 4-yo birthday, "No gifts but would appreciate donation to xyz charity" "

Thanks, that was my post. I didn't think it was status-y, but I'm succumbing to the gifts after reading that thread and hearing my MIL's opinion.

Just give them to toys for tots next Christmas. That is what we did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Irish people throw good weddings too!

I like Slovenian and Croatian weddings. They pass out shots as everyone leaves the church.

And there are generally upwards of 500 guests doing whatever their regional version of the polka is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPfeOAhDfbM

See also: The Deer Hunter

You, film connoisseur, I like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Irish people throw good weddings too!

My cousin married an Irish guy from the South Side of Chicago. At the reception there were a bunch of his buddies from HS -- can't remember the school's name, but it was kind of like Gonzaga. Those guys were funny and they could dance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. Yup. This is a New England thing, though, I think. I'm from CT so I get this (though, sadly, I'm not one of the lucky ones). But yeah, we have friends with old family homes on the Vineyard and random little islands in Maine. They wear LL Bean fleeces all summer at said cottages (which are always extremely low-key, weathered, and rustic but at the same time perfectly tasteful and of obvious quality that has aged well). Old Volvos and Saabs and, back in the day, Jeep Wagoneers (remember those? LOVE). Very little jewelry or makeup, but they're always in shape so they can pull of the sporty look well. They ski, they sail, they know art, and they have interesting names for their grandparents. Point being, they don't have to broadcast their money with more high-end fleeces or white elephant summer homes. The low-key approach broadcasts their privilege and family background much more effectively to those who understand the code. I actually find it more refreshing than the flashiness around DC.

YES!!!!!!! Nailed it.

+1. I am from CT and this isn't my family but describes it to a tee. No flashy brands, cars, whatever. That would be considered totally gauche. Old LL bean anything, beat up Volvo or Saab. Weathered polos, etc.

+2 From New Hampshire and totally get this. I even drive a Saab (it's my 3rd and last since they no longer make them!). I used to go to the Vineyard in the summer, but we did not have a house there. Used to stay with family friends.

From RI and this all makes sense to me, too. (Not rich, not WASP, but have absorbed some of the aesthetic. Plain wedding band, minimal makeup, bizarre fondness for hideous LL Bean, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, you are a perfect candidate for a "bless your heart."

Additionally, most old school southerners don't have multi-course sit down dinner receptions (nor do they use the phrase "surf and turf").

Indeed, that was for YOUR benefit, little poseur. Figured it was a phrase you would be all too familiar with as you clearly dont go to many nice weddings, espcially not ones in the South.

South and "nice wedding" never go together. Southerns think it is appropriate to serve punch and cake to 300 people standing around in sweltering heat. If it is really fancy, there is a nasty red velvet groom's cake, too.

I like those kinds of receptions. I like them better than sit-down meals where you have to make awkward small talk with relatives that you haven't seen in years and then pray that the DJ is decent. Stand-up receptions are more like a garden party and less like a terrible Thanksgiving dinner.

Stand up receptions are cheap and short.

Win/win, then. Short is good. I don't want to dedicate 8 hours to someone's wedding. 4 hours is perfect. I'd like to go the ceremony and the reception immediately afterwards. I'd like to say "hello" to some people and admire their fancy clothes, toast the happy couple, and go home. If it's outside so I can enjoy a nice drink in the sunshine, I'm a happy camper.

Being trapped in a hall with hordes of my relatives or relatives of my friends as they grow progressively more drunk is my idea of hell. If it's cheaper for the hosts, I don't know why everyone doesn't do a stand-up reception.

Most weddings are boring drunkfests. I hate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is cracking me up.
I guess my family is of the shabby gentile variety of unintentional status symbols. Our generation is not wealthy by any means, but we have a 14 year old BMW, inherited from parents, old silver, inherited and used daily, because our everyday stuff was crap. No fancy kitchen remodel because our current one works just fine (same with bathrooms), we live in an old house with great bones, have the requisite golden, from a rescue org though. And we own a country home that is super plain. I grew up riding and DH sailing. Our kids go to privates and I work part time at home, mostly because I can't command the salary needed to farm stuff out (thank you liberal arts degrees!) Anyway, I never thought of my family as wealthy at all, mostly because we don't have much liquidity. I did BF each kid for over a year, and did cloth diapers. I never thought twice about that!

Your post cracks me up, b/c you are almost a satire of what we are talking about!

I know - I'm a bit embarrassed. I guess I'm so used to seeing new build mansions and brand new luxury cars, that our old stuff doesn't register with me. I do have a core group of friends from DC who have similar lifestyles, so they don't twice at our beater cars, or our hopelessly dated kitchen, etc.

Please, please tell me where you went to school.

No way - not on DCUM. Suffice it to say it's in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, you are a perfect candidate for a "bless your heart."

Additionally, most old school southerners don't have multi-course sit down dinner receptions (nor do they use the phrase "surf and turf").

Indeed, that was for YOUR benefit, little poseur. Figured it was a phrase you would be all too familiar with as you clearly dont go to many nice weddings, espcially not ones in the South.

South and "nice wedding" never go together. Southerns think it is appropriate to serve punch and cake to 300 people standing around in sweltering heat. If it is really fancy, there is a nasty red velvet groom's cake, too.

I like those kinds of receptions. I like them better than sit-down meals where you have to make awkward small talk with relatives that you haven't seen in years and then pray that the DJ is decent. Stand-up receptions are more like a garden party and less like a terrible Thanksgiving dinner.

Stand up receptions are cheap and short.

Win/win, then. Short is good. I don't want to dedicate 8 hours to someone's wedding. 4 hours is perfect. I'd like to go the ceremony and the reception immediately afterwards. I'd like to say "hello" to some people and admire their fancy clothes, toast the happy couple, and go home. If it's outside so I can enjoy a nice drink in the sunshine, I'm a happy camper.

Being trapped in a hall with hordes of my relatives or relatives of my friends as they grow progressively more drunk is my idea of hell. If it's cheaper for the hosts, I don't know why everyone doesn't do a stand-up reception.

Most weddings are boring drunkfests. I hate them.

The worst are the ones that have lag time between the ceremony and reception and then drag on forever. I don't need the wedding and a cocktail hour, a sit-down dinner, and two hours of dancing before the cake is even cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may not apply to everyone, but I have one friend who constantly is doing juice cleanses and posting on FB about her GF diet. She says that she is "choosing to put herself first" but, really, her juicer cost her like $500, the ingredients for her two-week cleanses run about $500/week at Whole Foods (for her alone) (I know, b/c I tried it one time with her -- only ONCE!), and it takes TIME to make those juices every morning. And yes, I was told, you have to make them fresh every day, or else they lose the nutrients. I am sorry, but this "cleanse" and "putting myself first" nearly did me in, it was so darn expensive and took so much time!

your friend is a moron

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

Must be a DC thing, where I'm from women stay at home with husbands that make 40k a year.

+1 and less