NYT: Men where have you gone, please come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Wonder what posters here think of this and if things are equal in dc or no?

I would be curious if the author, in addition to her anecdotes, talked to 24, 34 and 44, and 64 year olds.

Moms and Dads: Please teach your sons to flirt! (in a non creepy way of course). I've just been realizing talking to teen dds and their friends. Boys will approach girls these days, but sort of out of nowhere. Like, the girls never thought of them in that way and suddenly he'll ask her out. And it's not that she dislikes the boy, but she just never thought of him like that before. There doesn't seem to be as much innocent flirtation going on. Which is what gets a girl to have a crush on you, which is usually what she needs in order to say yes to her.

I say this because I feel like a lot of these boys put themselves out there to ask a girl out, get turned down, and give up. Not realizing that the whole thing is a dance, they have to plant some seeds first!

No sane parent will “teach” their sons to “flirt”. What you liked/did a million years ago is not what is happening today. Also “not is a creepy” is largely dependent on how attractive the girl thinks the guy is.

Not largely dependent, 100% dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Wonder what posters here think of this and if things are equal in dc or no?

I would be curious if the author, in addition to her anecdotes, talked to 24, 34 and 44, and 64 year olds.

This yearning for "real men" [to return] has been a trope for generations. Example, in the mid 1990s there was this Grammy-nominated top 10 song "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole:

What a throwback. Is this the original trad wife song? “I’ll do the laundry if you pay all the bills” and she calls that “her happy ending” fantasy. I’m surprised this hasn’t yet been a hit country cover song in 2025.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Wonder what posters here think of this and if things are equal in dc or no?

I would be curious if the author, in addition to her anecdotes, talked to 24, 34 and 44, and 64 year olds.

This yearning for "real men" [to return] has been a trope for generations. Example, in the mid 1990s there was this Grammy-nominated top 10 song "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole:

This song was released 18 years after Willie Nelson released a song called "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys".
So I blame Willie Nelson for telling women to stop raising boys to be men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Wonder what posters here think of this and if things are equal in dc or no?

I would be curious if the author, in addition to her anecdotes, talked to 24, 34 and 44, and 64 year olds.

Moms and Dads: Please teach your sons to flirt! (in a non creepy way of course). I've just been realizing talking to teen dds and their friends. Boys will approach girls these days, but sort of out of nowhere. Like, the girls never thought of them in that way and suddenly he'll ask her out. And it's not that she dislikes the boy, but she just never thought of him like that before. There doesn't seem to be as much innocent flirtation going on. Which is what gets a girl to have a crush on you, which is usually what she needs in order to say yes to her.

I say this because I feel like a lot of these boys put themselves out there to ask a girl out, get turned down, and give up. Not realizing that the whole thing is a dance, they have to plant some seeds first!

I agree but this is a cultural thing lost on Americans. I'm not so sure you can really each flirting. You are also dealing with women in the US who don't flirt and generally aren't very receptive to guys chatting them up. I will say that it it's very entertaining to see guys in Brazil and Colombia flirt with those chimbitas. It's like a sport

I think women's preferences and behavior has changed too here, and men are figuring it out. I feel like there was more mixing of groups, people approaching and chatting at bars, etc. that was generally welcome/cute even if it didn't click and lead anywhere. Like, you'd have to your girlfriends about the guy and the thing that happened after. Now a lot of that has been labeled "creepy" and less confident guys are not going to try.

[Anonymous]

Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

I would say the same for men as well, but without the talking about it part. Women are just reluctant to accept it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Wonder what posters here think of this and if things are equal in dc or no?

I would be curious if the author, in addition to her anecdotes, talked to 24, 34 and 44, and 64 year olds.

This yearning for "real men" [to return] has been a trope for generations. Example, in the mid 1990s there was this Grammy-nominated top 10 song "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole:

She had an out of wedlock baby with a Muslim man and came out as bi-sexual in 2022. lol

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Cole

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Wonder what posters here think of this and if things are equal in dc or no?

I would be curious if the author, in addition to her anecdotes, talked to 24, 34 and 44, and 64 year olds.

This yearning for "real men" [to return] has been a trope for generations. Example, in the mid 1990s there was this Grammy-nominated top 10 song "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole:

This song was released 18 years after Willie Nelson released a song called "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys".
So I blame Willie Nelson for telling women to stop raising boys to be men

[Anonymous]

History lesson time:

White men working with cattle were called cow hands.

The real Blacks and Mexicans working with cattle were called cow “boys” as an obvious racial slur.

Their rope skills and riding skills became popular visual entertainment and got copied by whites. Hollywood was set up to make it easier to make western movies in the California area with whites riding around pretending to be cow”boys”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

+1. What can a man offers a woman that she cannot have by herself if she is financially successful?

Sex - easy (the younger she goes the easier)
Child- easy (adoption, or sperm donor/
Money, - easy(more women graduating college and quickly climbing corporate ladder)
Emotional support - other women (their friends) better suited for that
Taking care of the home and a man-child - they can easily avoid that by not marrying and they will be much happier
Longevity - I heard never married single women live longer

So what do women need men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

+1. What can a man offers a woman that she cannot have by herself if she is financially successful?

Sex - easy (the younger she goes the easier)
Child- easy (adoption, or sperm donor/
Money, - easy(more women graduating college and quickly climbing corporate ladder)
Emotional support - other women (their friends) better suited for that
Taking care of the home and a man-child - they can easily avoid that by not marrying and they will be much happier
Longevity - I heard never married single women live longer

So what do women need men?

Companionship with someone you like having sex with. Same as always.

[Anonymous]

I never wanted to get married until I met the one. It sounds cliche but I don't know if women feel the same way but for us men when we find the woman who is our "dream" woman we will do a 180 on many things. I even gave up motorcycling for my then financee (now wife). Best decisions I have ever made. 10 years into the marriage we are really happy together. I hope I die before her because if she goes before me I honestly do not know what I will do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

+1. What can a man offers a woman that she cannot have by herself if she is financially successful?

Sex - easy (the younger she goes the easier)
Child- easy (adoption, or sperm donor/
Money, - easy(more women graduating college and quickly climbing corporate ladder)
Emotional support - other women (their friends) better suited for that
Taking care of the home and a man-child - they can easily avoid that by not marrying and they will be much happier
Longevity - I heard never married single women live longer

So what do women need men?

The same goes for men. The reason for marriage is that it is a superior format for raising children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

+1. What can a man offers a woman that she cannot have by herself if she is financially successful?

Sex - easy (the younger she goes the easier)
Child- easy (adoption, or sperm donor/
Money, - easy(more women graduating college and quickly climbing corporate ladder)
Emotional support - other women (their friends) better suited for that
Taking care of the home and a man-child - they can easily avoid that by not marrying and they will be much happier
Longevity - I heard never married single women live longer

So what do women need men?

The same goes for men. The reason for marriage is that it is a superior format for raising children.

Most men don't get emotional support from other men, and a lot of men don't do much housechores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has changed a lot. Women don't need men to have a fulfilling life. And they tell men every chance they get.

+1. What can a man offers a woman that she cannot have by herself if she is financially successful?

Sex - easy (the younger she goes the easier)
Child- easy (adoption, or sperm donor/
Money, - easy(more women graduating college and quickly climbing corporate ladder)
Emotional support - other women (their friends) better suited for that
Taking care of the home and a man-child - they can easily avoid that by not marrying and they will be much happier
Longevity - I heard never married single women live longer

So what do women need men?

The same goes for men. The reason for marriage is that it is a superior format for raising children.

Only if both parents are activity involved and not checked out. Otherwise unvolved selfish one needs to exit the home permanently.