Enjoying time with young children

[Anonymous]

This thread is so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.

DP here, but wow that is really sad and you have all my sympathies. It isn’t healthy or normal but it looks like it’s out of your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding such joy in just playing at home with my kids. I’m a SAHM but I rarely (ever?) play with them. When I do, it’s completely delightful.

Oh my goodness same! Just today my 9 yo made up this elaborate scenario and chased me around with nerf guns and it was so fun. Although quite scary. It get surprisingly scared staring into the barrel of a nerf gun.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

Know your child. Some kids love the pool, others prefer a splash pad, while others prefer a water table. Some like an obstacle course at home, some like a playset in the backyard, and others love a playground. Some like regular museums, some like the kid section of those museums, some prefer kid museums and kid science centers.

[Anonymous]

The biggest factors for fun during preschool age I’ve found are:

1) making sure his immediate/comfort needs are met (eg bathroom, not hungry, not tired… so no ambitious afternoon activities for us)
2) asking what he wants (I usually give a choice between two things)

So to apply that, after we wake up, we eat breakfast and maybe do a chore or two, and I remind him we will do x and y things at home and then get to do a fun outing like go to the splash park. I ask him what might be some good snacks to take (goldfish? Great, how about some fruit too, do you want apple slices or an orange with the goldfish?), and we pack those and water. Then we hit the bathroom and leave. I have fun sitting on a bench in the shade watching him, reading on my phone or Kindle, sending pics of water fun to my parents who are across the country. We listen to a kid’s CD or classical music during the car ride home and I might ask him what he thought of the water features and we might chat about what we want for lunch. Eating out can be fun too, but I typically talk about it first and discuss menu options and expectations for behavior. He’s a kid who does well with planning and reasoning in advance. He also really likes having jobs, so if I’m busy getting ready I might ask him to grab his snack container and fill it up, or ask if he wants to fold and put away the kitchen towels while I take a shower.

Every kid is different and I only have one, but thought I would post this in case it helps anyone. I’m a SAHM pretty isolated (all grandparents and family are far away, DH works in the city until late, and we are in a new area where I don’t have any connections or friends yet) so it took awhile for me to find a routine that keeps DC happy and me sane!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.

Get your tubes tied, seriously. Please don't bring any kore children into this mess.

[Anonymous]

I also want to add:
Have snacks and meals planned and ready and make sure they are low sugar. Nothing worse than a hangry young kid … or even worse, a hangry kid who then eats an applesauce pouch and an orange and honey crackers and then is expected to behave well. Mine gets honey and chocolate crackers sometimes but I always make sure to give an egg or cheese or something with fat/protein. Otherwise he goes bonkers and is really annoying to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.

literally what in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.

Get your tubes tied, seriously. Please don't bring any kore children into this mess.

No need to be so unkind.
PP who is having by a hard time - I’ve been there. We have zero family and to be honest no friends or other support structure. The only thing you can change is your attitude. It also gets better as the kids get older. If you’re at all inclined, seek out a church with good children’s programming or another support structure, even if just a mom’s Facebook group or something.

[Anonymous]

^ I forgot to mention- make sure you do something for yourself every day. In a rural area, it could be popping in a yoga DVD or knitting for an hour in the evening, or playing an instrument or learning a language. Whatever it is, find something to do for yourself and only yourself that helps you recharge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.

Get your tubes tied, seriously. Please don't bring any kore children into this mess.

She said she can't afford healthcare! Lol. But seriously, no need to be so harsh on this poster, she is just being honest about how it feels right now. PP, enjoy your hour of alone time and try to find the moments with your 3yo - they say the funniest things

[Anonymous]

Get outside, make sure you have snacks, and lower your expectations.

[Anonymous]

I have 8mo and 3.5yo, so somewhat similar to OP. When I'm taking care of both of them we do well with just sitting on our front porch- 8mo is happy watching cars/dogs/people while 3.5yo plays with his trucks in the dirt, and it's pleasant for me. The pool, aquarium, zoo are pretty fun for everyone too, although more hassle involved.

Outdoor gatherings where the 3.5yo can run around with the other kids while the 8mo plays with toys on a blanket and I sip wine and chat to other parents are ok. But anything where the primary goal is seeing other adults ends up being a bit of a disappointment bc I am constantly distracted by the kids' needs and I don't feel like I'm fully present. Restaurants or other outings where the kids need to sit still/be quiet are always a roll of the dice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacations, running multiple errands, and going out to restaurants with small children are more headaches than enjoyable at this time in most cases. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find and make some more special moments at home or in a more casual setting.

Do an indoor picnic; snuggle on the couch with a big pile of books and some soft music in the background; get your older child a pair of binoculars and strap the younger one to you for an adventure scavenger hunt in your backyard or a local park; put on CosmicKids yoga or KidsBop dance and get off the couch to join in.

You don’t have to do huge outings or elaborate arts and crafts projects or picture perfect parties or play dates. Just find small things that at least one out of two of the kids like and go for it. Also know that it’s just as meaningful to find moments with the kids individually. They may be cuddling with your baby in a quiet room as he drinks his last bottle before bed; or the pride you feel watching your four-year-old land a trick on her scooter or finally identify all the letters in the alphabet. The small moments of joy and pride are just as meaningful as something bigger that’s “supposed” to be a fun endeavor that sometimes isn’t.

NP. Is my 4yo supposed to be doing scooter tricks and identifying all the letters in the alphabet?? She's really only interested in the first letter in her name. All the other letters can pound sand.

Mine could identify the whole alphabet by name before he turned two, but now at four has spent 8 months doing 15 lessons of a 40 lesson reading curriculum and I had to force him into a bike camp, where he was naughty and lead the other kids to mutiny, because he was too lazy to pedal for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.

Get your tubes tied, seriously. Please don't bring any kore children into this mess.

She said she can't afford healthcare! Lol. But seriously, no need to be so harsh on this poster, she is just being honest about how it feels right now. PP, enjoy your hour of alone time and try to find the moments with your 3yo - they say the funniest things

OR goes on and on about how miserable her life is, how she doesn't have fun with her existing kids and how she accidentally got pregnant. She needs to take some accountability and not have any more kids.