Enjoying time with young children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacations, running multiple errands, and going out to restaurants with small children are more headaches than enjoyable at this time in most cases. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find and make some more special moments at home or in a more casual setting.

Do an indoor picnic; snuggle on the couch with a big pile of books and some soft music in the background; get your older child a pair of binoculars and strap the younger one to you for an adventure scavenger hunt in your backyard or a local park; put on CosmicKids yoga or KidsBop dance and get off the couch to join in.

You don’t have to do huge outings or elaborate arts and crafts projects or picture perfect parties or play dates. Just find small things that at least one out of two of the kids like and go for it. Also know that it’s just as meaningful to find moments with the kids individually. They may be cuddling with your baby in a quiet room as he drinks his last bottle before bed; or the pride you feel watching your four-year-old land a trick on her scooter or finally identify all the letters in the alphabet. The small moments of joy and pride are just as meaningful as something bigger that’s “supposed” to be a fun endeavor that sometimes isn’t.

NP. Is my 4yo supposed to be doing scooter tricks and identifying all the letters in the alphabet?? She's really only interested in the first letter in her name. All the other letters can pound sand.

I too am not interested in proclaiming my preschooler a genius. We should hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only - a 1.5 year old. The zoo was actually really fun for both of us. A recent vacation was actually really fun (minus the flight part). Even dinner out last night was fun (burgers and fries, 5 PM, Olympic soccer on TV which she liked "chatting" about.)

But I've found my ability to enjoy activities with my child is contingent on three things:
- I need to be feeling low-stress in other areas of life so I can be really truly present with my kid.
- I need to be doing something where I get to enjoy being child-like not the other way around - forcing her to be an adult.
- I have to get some adult time each day that isn't work or parenting.

The day to day slog of toddler parenting - not fun. But if I do it right, I definitely have moments where we are both happy and having fun.

That said, all of the above is why there will only be one kid. I know myself and I would not be having fun with two.

I wrote something similar but this sums it up so perfectly (in bold)

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids (4, 2, and 4 months). All boys. Older two are very active, curious, and physical. They do not like to sit and draw or sit and play for any meaningful amount of time.

What makes things fun for me is consistency and low(er) stress activities. I’ll take them to the zoo or museum with dad but, alone, it’s all about parks and the pool. They can get their energy out and there is not much to break. I can look on and jump in if I have to but mostly stay on the sidelines and watch them enjoy themselves. At these ages I think it’s mostly fun watching them have fun and giving them some independence so your not micromanaging or needlessly stressed.

Always bring snacks everywhere, keep a good sleeping/eating schedule, and don’t over schedule yourself. If it takes 20min to get to the pool instead of 5 because the kids find a bug on the way let go of the impulse to rush things along.

[Anonymous]

I enjoy moments of most things - I look at more am I glad we did that vs was that overall fun. We went strawberry picking this summer - a lot of it was super annoying with the 2yo wanting to be carried, the crying on the drive etc. But it was so fun seeing the 4 year old pretend to be a farmer and trying to find the perfect berries and both of them loving running back and forth down the aisles to drop strawberries in our bucket. In general having them both is a grind but I try to focus on the fun and joyful moments within activities and ignore / block out the rest

[Anonymous]

I’m finding such joy in just playing at home with my kids. I’m a SAHM but I rarely (ever?) play with them. When I do, it’s completely delightful.

[Anonymous]

This thread is perfect timing because my three year old niece was just visiting. I have a two year old and we tried a few ‘fun’ activities and found the kids just wanted to go to the playground and splash pad. So we tried out different playgrounds. Is it very fun for me? No, but I get joy out of how much fun the kids have. I find that being in kid friendly places like the zoo or a playground make me less stressed. Like if my kid screams or runs around at the zoo, no one can say anything to me because it’s a kid space. But at the grocery store when she screams I get stressed because it’s an ‘adult’ space.

[Anonymous]

3.5 and 15 month old; we moved to Italy and I dreamt of visiting so many amazing places. But weekend getaways and family vacations are exhausting and it's no surprise that my toddler's favorite city was based entirely on where she spent the most time on the playground (it wasn't even a great playground, but we gave her lots of time there that day). Reminding myself that it's a phase in life. The big picture/memories are nice, but daily life is a slog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding such joy in just playing at home with my kids. I’m a SAHM but I rarely (ever?) play with them. When I do, it’s completely delightful.

Why do you rarely play with them? I am a SAHM too and all I do is play is my 1yo when she’s not sleeping or eating. Are they just older/can play on their own?

[Anonymous]

I really enjoy my 3yo but obviously lots of stuff is hard. Unlike some PPs, I have a hard time enjoying playgrounds because my DD needs a lot of interaction, so if there isn’t an appropriate kid for her to play with (which to her means same age, size, gender, and taste in clothing) she will want me to play with her most of the time. I did this a lot when she was younger but am getting tired of it— I want her to play with the other kids and let me be a bit. COVID has prolonged this phase, I think. It’s just been harder to ensure playground buddies in this environment.

But I enjoy the simple stuff. Yesterday she sat on the couch with me and we sang some songs she knew and I taught her another— Darling Clementine. She had tons of questions about the song, so we talked about death and accidents and mourning, but in a kid accessible way that wasn’t upsetting. I love having these talks with her. She has a really pure way of viewing the world and approaches everything with curiosity and a desire to understand. We’ve had similar talks on hikes and long car drives. I like talking to her more than most adults. We have other fun times (often cut short by meltdowns or other typical kid behavior) but I truly enjoy just relaxing and singing and talking with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding such joy in just playing at home with my kids. I’m a SAHM but I rarely (ever?) play with them. When I do, it’s completely delightful.

Why do you rarely play with them? I am a SAHM too and all I do is play is my 1yo when she’s not sleeping or eating. Are they just older/can play on their own?

Maybe PP has other things to do - e.g. cleaning, cooking etc. Constantly entertaining your kid isn’t a good thing. Your daughter will never learn to independently explore and learn if you continue on this path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding such joy in just playing at home with my kids. I’m a SAHM but I rarely (ever?) play with them. When I do, it’s completely delightful.

Why do you rarely play with them? I am a SAHM too and all I do is play is my 1yo when she’s not sleeping or eating. Are they just older/can play on their own?

Maybe PP has other things to do - e.g. cleaning, cooking etc. Constantly entertaining your kid isn’t a good thing. Your daughter will never learn to independently explore and learn if you continue on this path.

How many 1 year olds do you know that can play independently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m finding such joy in just playing at home with my kids. I’m a SAHM but I rarely (ever?) play with them. When I do, it’s completely delightful.

Why do you rarely play with them? I am a SAHM too and all I do is play is my 1yo when she’s not sleeping or eating. Are they just older/can play on their own?

Maybe PP has other things to do - e.g. cleaning, cooking etc. Constantly entertaining your kid isn’t a good thing. Your daughter will never learn to independently explore and learn if you continue on this path.

How many 1 year olds do you know that can play independently?

My daughter could when she was 1yo. She's almost 2 now and is actually worse at it - always wants us to be involved in her play (though it's cute, and I like that she's developing social skills).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just have low expectations. I also think keeping to a strict nap, bedtime and eating routine helped.

This. And be ready with toys, wandering inside or outside, etc. with restaurants. And always have an exit plan.

As they get a bit older, you can go to slightly nicer places and talk about why it's important to behave in restaurants. If kids get too wiggly, one parent takes them for a walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

Real talk, this doesn't sound healthy or normal.
And why do people keep being dramatic and saying we have been locked in since last March.
You just said you went to the park where your kid had a tantrum.

Because at the end of 2019 I moved to a rural forest area where I had no family or friends and we couldn’t afford to get sick. Then I got pregnant. And park is an empty playground. Maybe your situation is different but I am too scared to get sick or for my husband to get sick with no one here. Don’t assume people are living their lives. I do hikes empty playgrounds yard forest walks and driving around the streets to see things. Only deliveries or take out food. It’s a combination of bad luck and anxiety and not being blessed with family nearby or a calm kid or not having to work at all hours.