Enjoying time with young children

[Anonymous]

Did it feel fun with just one kid? Is it the logistics of dealing with two that makes it stressful or just being a parent, period?

[Anonymous]

I don’t enjoy any of the time I spend alone with my two kids, ages 4 and 2.

I sometimes enjoy things a bit if DH is with me.

I can also enjoy them individually.

I am not sure I ever enjoy even a few minutes of the time I’m caring for them solo.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids ages 6, 4 and 1 and I routinely enjoy time with them either solo, with DH or with other parents. I think you just need to expect the worst and have low expectations. Also you need to be prepared for triggers with your kids. For my kids it hunger. So I have snacks on hand in case we have a super long wait for food.

[Anonymous]

I have fun when I watch my kids have fun. No I don't like the kids museum but I love seeing them enjoy stuff. So we do kids stuff. Don't go out to eat at a restaurant. That isn't fun for you or them. My kids won't see a restaurant without pictures of food on the menu till they're 16.

[Anonymous]

I do not like children. I love my own, but don't really like spending more than two hours with them at a time, and less if we're at home. But I think those two ages combined are hard. You could easily have fun with a 4 yr old for an afternoon , but a 1 yr old is wiggling all around, dropping things, can't fully communicate, the conversations are mostly instructional (what's that? this? this is a fork.). At 1, the "enjoying" comes from nursing, rocking, reading before sleep. 4 yr olds can do so much more.

Try them one on one, and wait until the 1 yr old is older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have fun when I watch my kids have fun. No I don't like the kids museum but I love seeing them enjoy stuff. So we do kids stuff. Don't go out to eat at a restaurant. That isn't fun for you or them. My kids won't see a restaurant without pictures of food on the menu till they're 16.

This. If they are having a great time at something, I truly find joy in seeing that. Even just laughing at a splash pad or making a mess at a water table or poking around in the mulch on a hike.

My kids are similar age and even apart from Covid I wouldn't bother with restaurants. Anytime they need to sit in place is just not going to be enjoyable for them or me.

We have had fun vacations, but the activities have been kid centered and we have honestly all had a great time. Just accepting and enjoying this phase for what it is and not trying to mimic our pre-kid life.

[Anonymous]

I have an only - a 1.5 year old. The zoo was actually really fun for both of us. A recent vacation was actually really fun (minus the flight part). Even dinner out last night was fun (burgers and fries, 5 PM, Olympic soccer on TV which she liked "chatting" about.)

But I've found my ability to enjoy activities with my child is contingent on three things:
- I need to be feeling low-stress in other areas of life so I can be really truly present with my kid.
- I need to be doing something where I get to enjoy being child-like not the other way around - forcing her to be an adult.
- I have to get some adult time each day that isn't work or parenting.

The day to day slog of toddler parenting - not fun. But if I do it right, I definitely have moments where we are both happy and having fun.

That said, all of the above is why there will only be one kid. I know myself and I would not be having fun with two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have fun when I watch my kids have fun. No I don't like the kids museum but I love seeing them enjoy stuff. So we do kids stuff. Don't go out to eat at a restaurant. That isn't fun for you or them. My kids won't see a restaurant without pictures of food on the menu till they're 16.

This. If they are having a great time at something, I truly find joy in seeing that. Even just laughing at a splash pad or making a mess at a water table or poking around in the mulch on a hike.

My kids are similar age and even apart from Covid I wouldn't bother with restaurants. Anytime they need to sit in place is just not going to be enjoyable for them or me.

We have had fun vacations, but the activities have been kid centered and we have honestly all had a great time. Just accepting and enjoying this phase for what it is and not trying to mimic our pre-kid life.

Yes to poking around at mulch on a hike! Seriously kids make can just walking around entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Now that I read through this I have to admit to myself not much is fun for everybody. Rough housing and reading books come closest.

I bring my 4 year old in a baby seat in my bike and I enjoy the riding while he whines it is boring, then we stop at a park which he enjoys but he wants me to chase him around when I would so much rather sit and read a book.

I hope my 1 year old DD will grow into crafting. My DS 4 couldn't care less.

OP I think the best thing you can do is work on independent play skills so mommy/daddy aren't the kid's personal entertainment provider forever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

You sound depressed. Talk to your OB. We have all been through hell lately but this seems different.

[Anonymous]

The most stressful un-fun period for me is from whenever they learn to walk until a little after age 2. After 2.5 they get much better to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing fun with young children. Just get through the day and enjoy the alone time hour at the end of the day.

I hope this is sarcasm
Otherwise wow I feel sorry for your family

I’m pregnant work for home a demanding job just like my spouse and have a 3 year old that is defiant doesn’t nap and just tantrumed at the park and in the car for an hour. And we’ve been locked in since last March. No, it’s not sarcasm. I have no memory of fun. And don’t worry we’re all feeling sorry for ourselves enough.

OP needs to be realistic that it’s not fun or thankful for the moments of fun that she may have that others don’t.

You sound depressed. Talk to your OB. We have all been through hell lately but this seems different.

Agree, but at the very least get a way to get a break from your kids. Can DH take them one weekday while you just leave somewhere? Or can he take them so you can have some time at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that I read through this I have to admit to myself not much is fun for everybody. Rough housing and reading books come closest.

I bring my 4 year old in a baby seat in my bike and I enjoy the riding while he whines it is boring, then we stop at a park which he enjoys but he wants me to chase him around when I would so much rather sit and read a book.

I hope my 1 year old DD will grow into crafting. My DS 4 couldn't care less.

OP I think the best thing you can do is work on independent play skills so mommy/daddy aren't the kid's personal entertainment provider forever

I wish I could give some of my kid’s crafting love to yours! Crafting is one of my least favorite activities (When I did it with Girl Scouts or at church YouTube activities I was thinking the whole time “what is the point of this??”) but DD became obsessed with it when was two. For years she used to watch hours and hours of YouTube videos about various crafts and I had to come help her figure out the more complicated things, like making paper beads out of strips of magazines. She had shelves of “smash books” and a art and craft supplies everywhere.

I hated it when I had to help her, but looking back they are actually good memories. Now she is 12 and more into fine art and I kind of miss those crazy crafting days.

[Anonymous]

I have a genuinely good time on weekend when we take our boys camping.

Short of being slightly concerned about sunburn/ticks--I generally let them kind of just run around. They have a good time, get worn out--and we have very little micromanaging to do.

[Anonymous]

Looking back at that time the most fun we had was dancing. We would put in some music with a good beat and all 4 of us would dance to our hearts content. I’m sure we looked hilarious but it was lots of fun.