Teen party - what does a neighbor do?

[Anonymous]

I would appreciate if someone let me know. But honestly given one beer can in the street it’s hard to wrap my head around why this is such a concern. I wouldn’t call the police and I don’t think I’d even talk to the parents. If I did, I’d just say something like that I saw there was a party at their house and I just wanted to be sure they knew. Then I’d drop it.

[Anonymous]

Hell yeah! I'm calling the police. It's not going to 'ruin' anyone's life but it will quiet things in the neighborhood. If you don't want the cops over, keep it quiet after 10PM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would appreciate if someone let me know. But honestly given one beer can in the street it’s hard to wrap my head around why this is such a concern. I wouldn’t call the police and I don’t think I’d even talk to the parents. If I did, I’d just say something like that I saw there was a party at their house and I just wanted to be sure they knew. Then I’d drop it.

We're all different. I most definitely would want to know about a beer can in the street near my house if I wasn't at home and there were kids at my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell the mom if she messages me back? I think she is out of the country on a work assignment. I just said I had a question and would she message me back. Was thinking of asking what the occasion for the celebration was. And if she is confused, then I can tell her I heard a party. Does that sound like a good middle ground?

Yes

[Anonymous]

In these kind of situations I ask myself what would i want someone to do if it were my kid?
In this instance I would want to get a text from a neighbor saying pretty plainly that there was about 50 kids at my house, that things were pretty loud and there was a beer can outside. The parents either know or they don't.
Calling the police seems too much and I would appreciate a text first to try to get a handle on the situation. Perhaps the Dad really was upstairs, but the kids were just loud and otherwise doing ok.

[Anonymous]

Just seeing this thread now. And I'm honestly confused as to why so many people are against calling the cops. Call the non-emergency number and make a noise complaint. Don't mention the drinking unless there is actual evidence of same (and, no, a beer can in the street isn't it). This shouldn't ruin anyone's life. Most likely, the cops will show up, take a noise measurement, and tell the partiers to keep quiet. We have noise restrictions for a reason, and OP is entitled to sleep at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell the mom if she messages me back? I think she is out of the country on a work assignment. I just said I had a question and would she message me back. Was thinking of asking what the occasion for the celebration was. And if she is confused, then I can tell her I heard a party. Does that sound like a good middle ground?

No.
This is passive aggressive communication.
You should say " I was wondering what time the party will end. I was planning to go to bed"
Being passive aggressive is anti social
Say what you mean and mean what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just seeing this thread now. And I'm honestly confused as to why so many people are against calling the cops. Call the non-emergency number and make a noise complaint. Don't mention the drinking unless there is actual evidence of same (and, no, a beer can in the street isn't it). This shouldn't ruin anyone's life. Most likely, the cops will show up, take a noise measurement, and tell the partiers to keep quiet. We have noise restrictions for a reason, and OP is entitled to sleep at night.

I'll tell you why: Defund the Police. This is a perfect example of the kind of thing that doesn't require police action and where involving the police only has the potential to make things worse. Reserve police time and resources for real problems.

As a parent with four adult children, we absolutely would want to hear from a neighbor/acquaintance if this kind of thing were going on in our house. We would have been grateful to receive a call or text from OP. But OP shouldn't have been vague about it. I would have texted along these lines: "Hi, it's OP, hope you're well. Just thought you should know that it sounds like there's a big party going on at your house. Larla is such a great kid, I'm sure it's all good, and she says her dad is home -- but I didn't see him, there's a beer can out front, and didn't want anyone to get into any trouble. Can you let me know if you guys know about the party? Thanks and sorry for the trouble."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, no response from the mother yet (again, out of the country to my knowledge). This is a girl I know and have invited to my home. We are not strangers. And the girl is 16. I will wait a day and see if the mother gets in touch and if not I know how to get in touch with the father because he owns a local business. I think the parents should be aware but I agree with the poster above who emphasized stating the facts. There was a lot of noise, there was a beer can in the street, when I knocked on the door at 11:05 PM, which was ajar, there was a crowd of children and your child indicated you knew about the party and were upstairs. I have no wish to cause a problem but as the parent of a 15-year-old, I would want to know.

The 16-year-old is someone you know and who's been to your house but didn't recognize you when you came to the door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just seeing this thread now. And I'm honestly confused as to why so many people are against calling the cops. Call the non-emergency number and make a noise complaint. Don't mention the drinking unless there is actual evidence of same (and, no, a beer can in the street isn't it). This shouldn't ruin anyone's life. Most likely, the cops will show up, take a noise measurement, and tell the partiers to keep quiet. We have noise restrictions for a reason, and OP is entitled to sleep at night.

I'll tell you why: Defund the Police. This is a perfect example of the kind of thing that doesn't require police action and where involving the police only has the potential to make things worse. Reserve police time and resources for real problems.

As a parent with four adult children, we absolutely would want to hear from a neighbor/acquaintance if this kind of thing were going on in our house. We would have been grateful to receive a call or text from OP. But OP shouldn't have been vague about it. I would have texted along these lines: "Hi, it's OP, hope you're well. Just thought you should know that it sounds like there's a big party going on at your house. Larla is such a great kid, I'm sure it's all good, and she says her dad is home -- but I didn't see him, there's a beer can out front, and didn't want anyone to get into any trouble. Can you let me know if you guys know about the party? Thanks and sorry for the trouble."

This entire post is ridiculous. For one party, do nothing. If it continues, take it up with the parents in person.

[Anonymous]

Sound ordinance is a thing. Did you talk to the owner of the house? Fyi I hope you get covid for being stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a loud party in a nearby home to me. After 11 PM, I went over to see what was going on (neighbors I’m friendly with). It’s a teenage party, found a beer can in the street. There were 50 or so kids inside, taking, no masking. The 16 year old daughter didn’t recognize me but came out and said her father was upstairs and knew about the party (doubtful). I Told her it was after 11 and time to keep the noise down, then left. Would you do anything else? Maybe I should have demanded to see the dad? Honestly, I just wanted to go to sleep, which I’d been unable to do for hours with the noise. And now I’m worried I’ve also got coronavirus (though I’m fully vaccinated).

I would have called the police as soon as I found a beer can and 50 teens.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I would want to know. The risk of someone drinking and driving in this scenario feels real. I would have insisted on seeing the dad and if the teen couldn’t produce him, I would give her the option of either giving me the keys for all the cars there or calling the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The loud music is enough to call the police. Being a good neighbor does not equal looking the other way when people do highly inconsiderate things.

And to the pp, yes there were 50 kids and only one beer. They all took one sip and passed it around.

^^^^ finally getting your revenge for never being invited to teen parties.

NP. I was invited to plenty of teen parties. You know what happened if a friend's neighbor called the cops and busted up the party? We NEVER had a party at that house again -- which means OP would no longer be kept awake by 50 teens blasting music in violation of noise ordinances after 11PM again. Win-win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With the possibility of drinking and driving on the table, I would call the police.

You have to live with yourself if one of them hurts themself or someone else and you could have prevented it.

And you definitely tell the parent. Don’t be coy about it. Just state the facts. I went over due to noise and observed xyz. FYI.

She saw a single beer can in the STREET. No mention of seeing any of the kids drinking or alcohol on the kitchen table etc when she went over to talk to the teen. This seems overblown.

You are ridiculous. What exactly do you think 50 kids (not a small group of 4-6 close friends hanging out) blasting music after 11 on a weekend night are doing? Drinking Sunny D and playing charades?

Gotta love the naivete. When I was in school, I was roped into being into the school "anti-drug play," written by the theatre teacher. I was cast as one of the "good kids" and in that elderly, naive teacher's mind, the "bad kids" were out on street corners shooting up heroin and hooking to make drug money while large groups of the "good kids" were sitting at home drinking Coke and playing Trivial Pursuit. LOL.