Teen party - what does a neighbor do?

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing going over yourself first. I’d call the cops if there was evidence of underage drinking; I’d rather be a Karen then feel responsible for some kid dying or killing somebody else drunk driving home. Doing the right thing to protect other’s lives is never wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing going over yourself first. I’d call the cops if there was evidence of underage drinking; I’d rather be a Karen then feel responsible for some kid dying or killing somebody else drunk driving home. Doing the right thing to protect other’s lives is never wrong.

Except you will ruin some kids lives by an arrest record and the chance of a dead kid is 1/1000000000000000000.

[Anonymous]

OP here, no response from the mother yet (again, out of the country to my knowledge). This is a girl I know and have invited to my home. We are not strangers. And the girl is 16. I will wait a day and see if the mother gets in touch and if not I know how to get in touch with the father because he owns a local business. I think the parents should be aware but I agree with the poster above who emphasized stating the facts. There was a lot of noise, there was a beer can in the street, when I knocked on the door at 11:05 PM, which was ajar, there was a crowd of children and your child indicated you knew about the party and were upstairs. I have no wish to cause a problem but as the parent of a 15-year-old, I would want to know.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor and I have an agreement that we will let each other know if either set of teens is having a party. No cops, but also no secrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor and I have an agreement that we will let each other know if either set of teens is having a party. No cops, but also no secrets.

+1 - that’s more like it. Being cordial (or friends if you click) with neighbors is a godsend. Police should never be the first line of defense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing going over yourself first. I’d call the cops if there was evidence of underage drinking; I’d rather be a Karen then feel responsible for some kid dying or killing somebody else drunk driving home. Doing the right thing to protect other’s lives is never wrong.

Except you will ruin some kids lives by an arrest record and the chance of a dead kid is 1/1000000000000000000.

Who is dramatic now?

The kid won’t get arrested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, no response from the mother yet (again, out of the country to my knowledge). This is a girl I know and have invited to my home. We are not strangers. And the girl is 16. I will wait a day and see if the mother gets in touch and if not I know how to get in touch with the father because he owns a local business. I think the parents should be aware but I agree with the poster above who emphasized stating the facts. There was a lot of noise, there was a beer can in the street, when I knocked on the door at 11:05 PM, which was ajar, there was a crowd of children and your child indicated you knew about the party and were upstairs. I have no wish to cause a problem but as the parent of a 15-year-old, I would want to know.

Honest question - if the dad is local right now as he is running a business, and the daughter said he was upstairs, why are you so sure the dad doesn't know about this party? It may not be model parenting but some parents are ok with teen parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, no response from the mother yet (again, out of the country to my knowledge). This is a girl I know and have invited to my home. We are not strangers. And the girl is 16. I will wait a day and see if the mother gets in touch and if not I know how to get in touch with the father because he owns a local business. I think the parents should be aware but I agree with the poster above who emphasized stating the facts. There was a lot of noise, there was a beer can in the street, when I knocked on the door at 11:05 PM, which was ajar, there was a crowd of children and your child indicated you knew about the party and were upstairs. I have no wish to cause a problem but as the parent of a 15-year-old, I would want to know.

I completely agree OP. The parents need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You did the right thing going over yourself first. I’d call the cops if there was evidence of underage drinking; I’d rather be a Karen then feel responsible for some kid dying or killing somebody else drunk driving home. Doing the right thing to protect other’s lives is never wrong.

Except you will ruin some kids lives by an arrest record and the chance of a dead kid is 1/1000000000000000000.

Who is dramatic now?

The kid won’t get arrested.

Where do you live.

In moco they get arrested/citation, go to court, need a lawyer, do drug classes, and usually will get it expunged if they complete everything.

It cost families a minimum of $1K/kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask them to quiet down.

Don’t call police seriously WTF.

Stop policing your neighbors.

+1000

I thought we were advocating DE-policing and decriminalizing! This is a perfect example of what social workers should do in police units. No one should have criminal charges or FINES for having a party!

I would ask to see that father. It’s the parent’s job to keep kids in line. I highly doubt he was there. She lied. (Police can still stay out of it)

[Anonymous]

Seriously it’s like calling the cops on fireworks because they might blow their hand off... it rarely happens, stop being that neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would put on a KN95 or N 95 and go back and ask to speak to the father. Or you could call on the phone and ask to speak to the father but just be prepared for them to have a 17-year-old in person in the dad be put on the phone.

Or you could call in a noise complaint to 311 or 911. I would not do that unless the kids are white, however.

The previous post or comment to go to bed is obnoxious. That’s the whole point they original poster would like to go to bed and cannot because there’s a loud party going on. During a pandemic. With a bunch of unmasked teenagers. There are many reasons to try to put the kibosh on this party.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell the mom if she messages me back? I think she is out of the country on a work assignment. I just said I had a question and would she message me back. Was thinking of asking what the occasion for the celebration was. And if she is confused, then I can tell her I heard a party. Does that sound like a good middle ground?

You should have messaged her with it all. If she was in Europe then it was the wee hours of the morning and she would have known it was 11 here and thought it was too late to reply if she didn't see the text immediately. When she woke up it would have been 2 or 3 in the morning here so she wouldn't text you back then either. Always just text - Hi Larla, I am sorry to disturb you and I know you are out of town. I just wanted to let you know that there seems to be a party going on at your house. I went over because the music was loud and we could hear it quite clearly inside our house. I only spoke to your daughter. I saw 15-20 teens inside. There was a beer can in the yard. Your daughter said that Larlo was upstairs asleep and knew about the party. Please let me know if there is anything else I should do other than telling you. I am happy to go back over and ask your daughter to call you. Larlette

[Anonymous]

I know a family whose teen son died after drinking at such a party. I will always call police. It's not a question of being a busybody or party-pooper, but of saving lives. Many more teens died from accidents after drinking than die from police breaking up a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know a family whose teen son died after drinking at such a party. I will always call police. It's not a question of being a busybody or party-pooper, but of saving lives. Many more teens died from accidents after drinking than die from police breaking up a party.

No actually many kids die from running from cops.

You are not saving lives.