Husband and I Disagree On Parenting Philosophies

[Anonymous]

OP. I had a 34 weeker, who was in the NICU for a couple of weeks, where he was put on a schedule. So 8 weeks is definitely not too young to be on a schedule. You may feel more sane. Now a schedule is not a solution to all the problems but it’s a start. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a flexible schedule at that age. Also, your plan isn't working, so perhaps you should listen to your husband.

Where is her plan not working with the exception of course of her husbands "ideas".

From the OP:

naps are becoming a challenge. He is having issues with fighting naps in the afternoon and staying asleep for more than 30-45 minutes unless he’s held.

Reading is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OUr newborn was on a schedule from the beginning. Part of it was I, the mother had complications and was kept at the hospital. DH was given the newborn to take care of on his own (our first). Doctor said to feed her every 3 hours. So that is what he did. He even woke her us at night to feed her until the doctor said -- if she sleeping and it's the middle of the night, don't wake her up!

Hee hee, this made me giggle. My husband would TOTALLY have done this - doctor says every 3 hours, then every 3 hours it is. If you tell him "would you cut the carrots 1 inch long" then they will be EXACTLY 1 inch long. All of them. Not longer, not shorter. My mother loves when he is her prep cook - tie the roast? The ties will be exactly equidistant from each other, the knots will be lined up, etc. Gotta love him.

[Anonymous]

I’d try to respect his opinion if you believe it’s coming from a place of love. He’s seeing some of what happens day in and out.

Also my DH did paternity leave on the back of my maternity and that is crucial to having a life where a DH is competent to know what to do without being told as bonds with child and I had to parent to knowing he’d be 1 on 1 in a few months with DC. What’s your plan for parenting long term? Is it to be the default parent and not involve him? (Or to wait to complain about being the default parent until a few years down the road?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a flexible schedule at that age. Also, your plan isn't working, so perhaps you should listen to your husband.

Where is her plan not working with the exception of course of her husbands "ideas".

From the OP:

naps are becoming a challenge. He is having issues with fighting naps in the afternoon and staying asleep for more than 30-45 minutes unless he’s held.

Reading is your friend.

Except DC needs practice learning to sleep not being held. I was adamant I’d do everything in my power to get DC to STTN by 8 weeks and DC did and one thing I made sure was DC practiced sleeping flat each day. It was often right next to me or while I was singing so DC was not “alone” but hold all the time at great risk I’d never getting to STTN without massive training and tears. I never had to do CIO bc I just taught my kid to do it early. Can’t imagine having to sleep train. Was not an option for the is 2 career family and DH and I were certainly aligned on that.