Nanny is late everyday - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

This poster is reminding me of when I once saw a Kennedy arrive late to Court. Spoiler alert -- the Judge was not on the PP's page when it came to letting professionals show up when they want. I'm a PP that said that, out of 4 nannies we've employed over 15 years, only one has been habitually late. And it later became clear that, while she presented in a very pleasant manner, she was a terrible nanny. Texted while driving, lied about her background and about the need for absences, ignored the kids when I wasn't around, etc. It took about 8 months for it all to become obvious, and the kids actually cheered when I fired her. I'm flexible when things come up, but someone who is habitually late like this either is just not a person who cares about her responsibilities; is under the impression that start time is actually between 9 and 9:15; or has some logistically issue like a bus that arrives at 8:55. Figure out if it's 1, 2 or 3.
And, yes, if I am 15 minutes late because metro breaks down or something like that, I 100% pay her OT for those 15 minutes. And I don't dock her when I send her home early, which I do about 25% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

Do all those late people expect to get on an airplane after the doors are closed or have a class wait for them to start? Can teachers be late and leave you standing outside the school for drop off?

You absolutely do not let chronic lateness “go”. It’s stunningly disrespectful and unprofessional.

No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

So...when you interviewed for these jobs as an adult, did you show up 5-15 minutes late for your job interview? Or did you want to project to your prospective employer the idea that you were reliable and valued their time? I have known various people with the attitude is that their time matters more than anyone else’s and yet none of them—ever— were late to a job interview. Strange that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you should if it matters to you. But you should also consider whether you actually need her to show up at 9 on the dot. Flexibility to arrive 5-15 minutes late is pretty standard in the working world, so you need to consider whether you really have to take that away. If it was 15 minutes every day I might feel differently.

It's ridiculous that you think arriving 5-15min. late is "standard" in the working world. My co worker just got fired for always being late.

Running always late says a lot about you...and I guess my co-worker ran out of excuses...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

In what world do you live in???? LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

In what world do you live in???? LOL

+1. Seriously, that poster is deranged! Absolutely most people arrive to work on time!

[Anonymous]

change her start time to 8:45

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:change her start time to 8:45

Oh, please! The nanny isn’t a child you have to trick to get her to do her fricking job! Being on time for work IS part of her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

Do all those late people expect to get on an airplane after the doors are closed or have a class wait for them to start? Can teachers be late and leave you standing outside the school for drop off?

You absolutely do not let chronic lateness “go”. It’s stunningly disrespectful and unprofessional.

No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

The difference here is that (in non-covid times) the nanny being late causes a domino effect of the parents being late to their workplaces/jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-- just tell her that you need her at work by 9AM each morning. I don't know her age, but when I was in my twenties I was chronically late. I had a poor sense of time and didn't plan for contingencies (traffic, parking, getting directions, etc.).

I've learned to start everything a little sooner than absolutely necessary-- even if it makes me a bit early sometimes.

Anyway, I think she needs the clear message that there's a hard deadline of 9AM, so that she plans better.

This was me. Got fired from a few jobs when I was young because of poor punctuality, then when I had a job I really intended to keep and got reprimanded it hit home and I fully corrected. When I had my son I calculated backward from when I needed to arrive so that all the extra steps were accounted for.

OP could approach this as a coaching, i.e. bringing up time management in connection with being on time. Letting it go on sends the message that it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of people are missing the point about flexibility being normal for a lot of people. The point is not that your job expects you at 9 and you have the flexibility to be 10 minutes late. It is that many jobs expect people to arrive within a window of acceptability. So anywhere between 8:45-9:15 is normal. And that is true for many jobs. Of course there are jobs where someone is just manning the fort—answering a phone or opening a shop on time.

Honestly it reminds me of an account I read somewhere of a guy who had his first job as a teen washing dishes at a restaurant. He worked alongside a bunch of friends. After a few nights of getting into a routine, he and his buddies decided to knuckle down and change the work flow so they could be done a little early. The dishes were cleaned, dried and put away and the kitchen was sparkling clean and they proudly showed their manager their work and asked to kick off a little early. Manager hit the roof and screamed that they “belonged” to him until the end of their shift, then dumped trash on the floor for them to clean. After that they did a mediocre job at a glacial pace because they had learned they were paid for their time, not for success completing a task.

The point is that you have to figure out whether your job is one where your nanny is completing a task (“You have to be here in time to get the kids logged on for school”) or one where she is manning the fort (“I need you here at 9am sharp so that 18-month-old is supervised and I can log on to work.”)

If the latter, explain why you need her on time and expect her to figure it out.

If the latter, let it slide as part of the overall relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is she from?

Exactly. There are so many nannies in this area from Latin America. If you told a Latin American nanny in Latin America this they would think you were truly crazy. It's a different story here, i Know bu tstill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is she from?

Exactly. There are so many nannies in this area from Latin America. If you told a Latin American nanny in Latin America this they would think you were truly crazy. It's a different story here, i Know bu tstill

Tell her you need punctualidad Britannica.

[Anonymous]

"Nanny, my workday starts at 9am so I need you here and with Baby by that time at the latest, especially if I have a meeting. More and more you arrive 5-15 minutes later than that. Is there an issue at home or on your commute that means that start time doesn't work for you?"

[Anonymous]

our nanny is often late by a few minutes and drives. I agree it is frustrating because responsible people adjust their departure time to account for accidents, traffic etc.

[Anonymous]

this is subjective, obviously. but i'm an EXCELLENT caregiver and have been a few mins late on MANY occasions (yes, MANY) and they were all due to traffic issues. i have left out over an hour early for work and still been late (but hey, when you're traveling in a snowstorm to wake the baby while m and d are still farting in their sleep or your uber decides to take the roads instead of the highway and stops to get gas. What can you do but laugh?)

and none of my family clients have had an issue with me (that i know of, ha!) as they understand shit happens. they also are never on time to get their kids, so they know not to ask about why im 5 mins late. Only to watch them stick around for another 30 mins before heading "to work" anyway!