Nanny is late everyday - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

Do all those late people expect to get on an airplane after the doors are closed or have a class wait for them to start? Can teachers be late and leave you standing outside the school for drop off?

You absolutely do not let chronic lateness “go”. It’s stunningly disrespectful and unprofessional.

No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

Let's guess: you're the classic child of privilege who either never worked at a service job where other people depended on you to pull your weight as part of the team - including showing up ON TIME because when you don't there are ripple effects, where other people have to take up your slack - or you are just a self-centered person who doesn't care what stress you're putting on others. (My guess is C: both of the above.) Putting aside whether or not a nanny is a 'professional' job by your meaning, which you're clearly thinking 'white collar office job,' there are in fact plenty of professional jobs where people are expected to be on time every day at their set start time. Just to list a couple, teachers and librarians, both of whom are expected to have graduate degrees. I have huge respect for (good) nannies but being on time is, in fact, a fundamental part of the gig.

[Anonymous]

Luckily we did not have this problem, but we one issue with our fantastic nanny watching TV while the kids napped which I was ok with but as the kids naps got shorter she still had the TV on. I tried a lot of indirect hints, but ultimately found that I had to be very direct and say that I did not want the TV on when the kids were awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

Do all those late people expect to get on an airplane after the doors are closed or have a class wait for them to start? Can teachers be late and leave you standing outside the school for drop off?

You absolutely do not let chronic lateness “go”. It’s stunningly disrespectful and unprofessional.

No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

Let's guess: you're the classic child of privilege who either never worked at a service job where other people depended on you to pull your weight as part of the team - including showing up ON TIME because when you don't there are ripple effects, where other people have to take up your slack - or you are just a self-centered person who doesn't care what stress you're putting on others. (My guess is C: both of the above.) Putting aside whether or not a nanny is a 'professional' job by your meaning, which you're clearly thinking 'white collar office job,' there are in fact plenty of professional jobs where people are expected to be on time every day at their set start time. Just to list a couple, teachers and librarians, both of whom are expected to have graduate degrees. I have huge respect for (good) nannies but being on time is, in fact, a fundamental part of the gig.

If you want to make your nanny punch the clock and penalize her for being 5 mins late - fine by me. You’ll reap what you sow. The main point is you need to clearly communicate your expectations because that’s not actually a uniform requirement in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Luckily we did not have this problem, but we one issue with our fantastic nanny watching TV while the kids napped which I was ok with but as the kids naps got shorter she still had the TV on. I tried a lot of indirect hints, but ultimately found that I had to be very direct and say that I did not want the TV on when the kids were awake.

so moral of the story - nobody can read your mind.

[Anonymous]

OP, this happened to me, and a PP who mentioned the ripple effect is exactly right. we asked our nanny to be there at 8:30 every day so that I could get to work between 8:30-9 a.m. (my office's scheduled start time). She was inevitably 5-10 minutes late every day. I never said anything about it and just accepted it as the price of admission (she is otherwise great, loves our kids and vice versa), until one day my supervisor came by and oh-so-casually mentioned how she noticed that I got into work closer to 9 a.m every day - which, of course, is permitted under our office schedule, but she obviously thought I should be there closer to 8:30 (which I would have been if nanny got there at 8:30 since I have an under-10 minute commute). That was enough for me to have a quick convo with my nanny and after that, she got there on time every day. If that hadn't worked, I would have just shifted her schedule up 15 minutes and paid for the extra time.

[Anonymous]

Have a “come to Jesus” talk with your nanny. She’s an adult and doesn’t need special handling or “working with her” crap to arrive at work on time.

Our wonderful nanny arrives every day ten to fifteen minutes early. She uses that time to get herself situated and set up the kids snacks and activities for the morning. We have a calm and leisurely transition. She takes over 100% at her start time. In three years our nanny has never once been late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a “come to Jesus” talk with your nanny. She’s an adult and doesn’t need special handling or “working with her” crap to arrive at work on time.

Our wonderful nanny arrives every day ten to fifteen minutes early. She uses that time to get herself situated and set up the kids snacks and activities for the morning. We have a calm and leisurely transition. She takes over 100% at her start time. In three years our nanny has never once been late.

You’re the opposite extreme. You should be paying your nanny for that time.

Otherwise, I hope you’re also coming home 15minutes early...

[Anonymous]

Ive had multiple nannies and none were ever late except in a rare emergency. All showed up 5 min early, washed hands, changed if they took public transport. Handover happened after their start time. One time a car wouldnt start and instrad of calling me to pick her up she walked to work, was barely 2 min late.

[Anonymous]

Dear Nanny, When you arrive late to work, I arrive late to work. My employer has commented that my frequent late sign in to work has been noted and needs to stop. Please remember that your employment depends on my ability to remain employed. Continued late arrivals may result in us having to seek other child care arrangements. Time to be on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have a “come to Jesus” talk with your nanny. She’s an adult and doesn’t need special handling or “working with her” crap to arrive at work on time.

Our wonderful nanny arrives every day ten to fifteen minutes early. She uses that time to get herself situated and set up the kids snacks and activities for the morning. We have a calm and leisurely transition. She takes over 100% at her start time. In three years our nanny has never once been late.

You’re the opposite extreme. You should be paying your nanny for that time.

Otherwise, I hope you’re also coming home 15minutes early...

Nope. We offered to pay her for the early arrival and she adamantly refused. This is her choice and I admire her professionalism. She chooses to get things in place while I’m still there and let the kids warm up to the transition.

And no to your second question - she chooses to leave at her scheduled time. I work from home so obviously I am never late but nanny will wait until our toddler is ready to let her go if necessary (Sometimes he’s fine with her leaving and other times he’s sad).

We have a truly great nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few questions:

-- Does she always leave exactly at her stop time? Or is there often some logistics that have to get worked out so that she's leaving 5-10 minutes after on a regular basis? Remember stuff like this cuts both ways. Giving her a 15 minute grace period in the morning also gives you a 15 minute grace time in the evening, if you are trying to wrap something up with work or need to run a quick errand or something. If there's give and take, I don't think taking a hard line on the morning start time is a good idea.

-- While you are not commuting, does her lateness cause other issues for you? My DH and I have one morning a week where we both have team calls early in the morning, and if our childcare ran late on those days it would be incredibly difficult. Do you often have calls first thing in the morning, or do you have a job where you need to get things to people by midmorning? If so, that's the issue, and as others have noted, you need to ask for an earlier start time. No one wants to be waiting on childcare right as they are trying to prepare for a meeting or finish a draft. Set your nanny's hours in a way that works for you, and if she can't do that, you may need to find another nanny who can. It's not personal -- she may have kids or family at home that make it impossible for her to get to your house earlier every day. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

I don't get all the people acting like this is some big transgression. Being 5-15 minutes late is pretty standard in many jobs, even many lower paid jobs with rigid schedules. I have worked in places with hourly workers where some people always show up a little late for a shift. Sometimes it causes real problems, in which case it has to be addressed and fixed. But with proper scheduling, that kind of delay really isn't that big of a deal. If someone is otherwise good at their job, a few minutes delay in the morning due to traffic or whatever is no big deal.

I worked hourly for 5 years. The first time you clocked in more than 5 minutes late (without a call prior to start time), it was a warning. Second time was one less day on the schedule for two weeks. Third time and they were fired. If you were late WITHOUT calling en route, it was one warning and then fired on the second.

DP. I generally aspire to treat my nanny better than a Burger King employee. She was generally on time, but I was happy to give her some leeway (and she did the same for me in the evenings if I was 10-15 minutes late.)

I never worked fast food, but the same rules for tardiness apply in most industries (including childcare). Retail, gas station, food service, construction, entertainment, etc. all require you to be on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you should if it matters to you. But you should also consider whether you actually need her to show up at 9 on the dot. Flexibility to arrive 5-15 minutes late is pretty standard in the working world, so you need to consider whether you really have to take that away. If it was 15 minutes every day I might feel differently.

Nanny here.

Larla, you seem to prefer starting between 9.05 and 9.15. We’re going to be moving the start time to 9.15 to accommodate that preference, and we expect you to be on time. Thanks!

This will almost certainly result in nanny not showing up till 9:25.

In that case, she’s gone. She was given another case and blew it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

Do all those late people expect to get on an airplane after the doors are closed or have a class wait for them to start? Can teachers be late and leave you standing outside the school for drop off?

I am a teacher, and I don’t have leeway on when to arrive each day.
You absolutely do not let chronic lateness “go”. It’s stunningly disrespectful and unprofessional.

No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

[Anonymous]

Above post had formatting messed up, but I was saying I am a teacher and do not have leeway regarding when I can arrive each day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
She's one of the many, many, tardy people, in this world. My husband, my two best friends, my daughter's music teacher, are ALL like this (and two are way worse).

There are so many people like this that I wouldn't make it an issue unless you must, ie, you're going back to the office, or you have a meeting at 9.

This. Many people are like this. If you refused to deal with every single one of them, there’d be so few people left. How can you demand everyone be exactly on time? So few people are. You just have to learn to let it go.

Do all those late people expect to get on an airplane after the doors are closed or have a class wait for them to start? Can teachers be late and leave you standing outside the school for drop off?

You absolutely do not let chronic lateness “go”. It’s stunningly disrespectful and unprofessional.

No, it’s not. I have never, ever had a job as an adult where I didn’t have leeway on when to arrive every day. It’s just not the norm for professional jobs, and I extended this courtesy to my nanny. If it is important to an employer that the nanny arrive prescisely on time every day, you need to make that very clear - not just assume it. And then you better let the nanny go at exactly her end time as well. No detaining her at the door to talk about how the day went, etc. Live by the clock, die by the clock.

That’s the way most of the world works.