What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.

My kid is a college freshman and in the same boat. It’s very obvious that the school is way too easy, but my kid got a full tuition scholarship and we can’t really afford other schools.

[Anonymous]

can't remember. a lot. another person was usually involved

[Anonymous]

After I graduated I fell in love with a great guy but he and my parents didn’t get along due to their attitudes towards many things. We broke up due to my letting them pressure me. I then went into depression and bad relationships including two failed marriages. My ex BF has been hugely successful and apparently happily married for 30 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.

My kid is a college freshman and in the same boat. It’s very obvious that the school is way too easy, but my kid got a full tuition scholarship and we can’t really afford other schools.

Leverage those great grades and go to a great grad school. Find a scholarship or work after undergrad to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Underperforming in college
Underperforming in law school
Marrying the wrong person and having children with him
Not being able to make it work with said wrong person
Feeling that I’ve failed my children

Last two are the sort of regrets you don’t get over, you just try to move on and accept as best you can. The person who fixates on the missed exam is a sweet summer child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.

My kid is a college freshman and in the same boat. It’s very obvious that the school is way too easy, but my kid got a full tuition scholarship and we can’t really afford other schools.

And he will be fine. Our lives are wayyyyy more than where we went to college.

[Anonymous]

Not one mistake, but a long series of only ever doing “enough” to get by. By all accounts I’m decently successful - own a house, make six figures, college degree, relative financial stability. In reality I do just enough to coast in every aspect of life.

Most people who meet me think I am very smart - and I am, but I never ever put it to use. I spend a lot of time thinking and scheming about how to do the bare minimum (because, lazy) and still look like the brilliant one in any situation. I have a government job in which I work maybe 2 hours a day and run circles around my coworkers.

Bottom line: if I actually tried, who knows where I would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not noticing the signs that my husband was clinically depressed before he killed himself.

I’m so sorry. Sending love.

+1 sorry, PP

+another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After I graduated I fell in love with a great guy but he and my parents didn’t get along due to their attitudes towards many things. We broke up due to my letting them pressure me. I then went into depression and bad relationships including two failed marriages. My ex BF has been hugely successful and apparently happily married for 30 years.

Think you have posted this before. Stop putting him on a pedestal. He has problems like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Being born into a poor family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not wearing a condom that night.

And............

[Anonymous]

Letting anxiety interfere in dating in my 30s.

The one who got away in my 20s.

I am ok with my career now, but I wish I had pursued something more suited to my personality like medical research.

Not having enough sense of self to move to a beautiful place in my 20s-early 30s

Not travelling or pursuing serious recreational hobbies and experiences in my 20s and 30s

Returning to work when my son was an infant - should have taken a whole year off

Really hurting 2 boyfriends

[Anonymous]

Bought the most expensive house in a new build development.

[Anonymous]

Flunking out of college and never finishing my degree.

Not taking steps to make my marriage better when I had the chance. We were together 22 years and he was my best friend. I miss him so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to the first school that offered me a full scholarship (based upon my PSAT score). My family, who were blue collar with six kids, had never been to college and were ecstatic because it was "a private school."

I did not even apply anywhere.

Now that I am older and in a higher social class, I realize that I should have gone to a MUCH better school (probably an Ivy). My standardized tests were off the charts. The college was much too easy for me (I got one B in 4 years, all the rest A's...with minimal work).

If I had gone to the best school I could have gotten into, my trajectory (e.g., who I dated, faculty contacts, work network, references, etc) would have been different. My parents had NO clue, nor did I. Everyone was happy because of the scholarship.

Not a tragedy, but I feel it would have changed a lot.

My kid is a college freshman and in the same boat. It’s very obvious that the school is way too easy, but my kid got a full tuition scholarship and we can’t really afford other schools.

And he will be fine. Our lives are wayyyyy more than where we went to college.

I know, which is why I try to avoid the college doomsday DCUM posts