What’s the biggest mistake you have ever made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving my marriage without doing anything / making any arrangements or agreements about the house we owned. Years later my credit score is great (I worked so hard, it was in the 500s when I left my ex) but although I desperately want to try to buy my own new home now, I doubt I will ever qualify for a new mortgage since my name is still on the old loan/house, though he pays. It's heartbreaking and I feel like I will pay for this mistake for the rest of my life.

He can refi and get the mortgage in his name.

Also, it will still count against your debt to income ratio, but if you can show proof that you don't pay the mortgage the lender will consider this. At least my ex's lender did.

[Anonymous]

1. Losing my virginity to a guy I didn’t really like because at 22 it felt like it was time. It was a very unsatisfactory experience.
2. After a party, I gave my husband a BJ while we were driving home. We had three little children at home so WTF was I thinking?

I’m pretty cautious and conservative so risk taking is not in my DNA so big mistakes have been avoidable except for the above.

[Anonymous]

Trusting that older white men would give me that promotion. After being groomed for and essentially promised it, they found a 57 year old white man last minute to bring in from the outside. I left a few months later and the whole situation leaves such a bad taste.

[Anonymous]

This is probably more of a regret, but when I was 14 my mom was having a manic episode and got right in my face yelling at me about how I was a terrible child and had ruined her life. I was so hurt and didn't know what to do and I pushed her away from me, and it was with enough force that she fell on the floor. I will never forgive myself for putting my hands on my mom, no matter how out of control she was it was no excuse for me losing control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not one mistake, but a long series of only ever doing “enough” to get by. By all accounts I’m decently successful - own a house, make six figures, college degree, relative financial stability. In reality I do just enough to coast in every aspect of life.

Most people who meet me think I am very smart - and I am, but I never ever put it to use. I spend a lot of time thinking and scheming about how to do the bare minimum (because, lazy) and still look like the brilliant one in any situation. I have a government job in which I work maybe 2 hours a day and run circles around my coworkers.

Bottom line: if I actually tried, who knows where I would be.

Wow, I can relate. I breezed through HS and college with a near perfect GPA and spent most of my time watching TV. I never felt like I really applied myself and often wonder how far I could have gone had I put in more effort. I have major focus problems (undiagnosed ADD?) and feel like a fraud even though I'm highly accomplished and respected in my field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not noticing the signs that my husband was clinically depressed before he killed himself.

Same here. Fiance'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not noticing the signs that my husband was clinically depressed before he killed himself.

Same here. Fiance'

I am so sorry. <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone who wasn't right for me.

This. And now 25y later with youngish kids, a mortgage, a not terribly lucrative career....it seems like I'm in it forever.

[Anonymous]

Seeking out the career counseling of men in medical school instead of women. They counseled me from a standpoint of having no child care responsibilities at home. Their definition of a "family friendly" job is not even close. And since I became a single mom, it's even harder.

I love being a doctor but we absolutely lie to medical students about what it's like. I am straight up when I counsel female med students, and I include their choice of partner in the decision matrix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleeping with a male escort. But he was hot

Nope, not a mistake unless you are married and are suffering from a ton of guilt. Men get "happy endings" all the time and its the same thing. They probably can't even remember or care what the prostitute looked like.

[Anonymous]

1. not being more supportive of Vietnam vets when they returned home;
2. pant suits.

[Anonymous]

Sending oldest daughter to public primary to save money.

[Anonymous]

Having a few drinks and telling someone that I thought I trusted a secret about how I was attracted and talking to a guy I met through work when my husband and I were having problems. That night she encouraged me to explore it, but I never did and nothing happened with him. I never spoke about it again. She held it over my head and caused me a lot of anxiety. Thankfully she moved and is no longer in my life but I still worry she may resurface one day and start trouble.

[Anonymous]

Voting for Obama the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not one mistake, but a long series of only ever doing “enough” to get by. By all accounts I’m decently successful - own a house, make six figures, college degree, relative financial stability. In reality I do just enough to coast in every aspect of life.

Most people who meet me think I am very smart - and I am, but I never ever put it to use. I spend a lot of time thinking and scheming about how to do the bare minimum (because, lazy) and still look like the brilliant one in any situation. I have a government job in which I work maybe 2 hours a day and run circles around my coworkers.

Bottom line: if I actually tried, who knows where I would be.

Wow, I can relate. I breezed through HS and college with a near perfect GPA and spent most of my time watching TV. I never felt like I really applied myself and often wonder how far I could have gone had I put in more effort. I have major focus problems (undiagnosed ADD?) and feel like a fraud even though I'm highly accomplished and respected in my field.

Oh man, same. I think this is common for "smart" kids/people, and I think a lot about how to avoid it in my own kids. I have diagnosed ADHD and my kids don't, but even so I worry.