Has anyone else realized their spouse sucks during Covid?
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Anonymous
And what is my share? I am working 50 hours a week and my wife is a SAHM who naps every day. I know she helps with my younger daughter but age is 13 and my 18 year old is in office by me. She does supermarket shipping, dentist appointments and makes dinner. I take our trash, make bed, clean up after dinner, pay the bills, manage the finances, do the home repairs. I also drive kids a lot at night to stuff. |
Anonymous
| If you’re so fragile that relatively minor levels of hardship turn you against your spouse, maybe it’s YOU that sucks, not your spouse. |
Anonymous
| I think this is just a preview of retirement and that's what worries me more. I'm taking this as the push I needed to start making changes before then. I can't change my husband's behavior, but I can change how I respond. |
Anonymous
Yes. A lot of spouses of stay at home parents of older children that were in school now see how little their SAHs were doing. |
Anonymous
She gets a daily nap?. JFC |
Anonymous
| OP, sounds like my first marriage. Getting out is ugly, esp. for the kids, but it was worth it. The peace is glorious and the freeing. I later found Mr. Wonderful and I'm able to show my daughters what a healthy relationship and a real man look like. |
Anonymous
| Have you tried actually discussing this with him? |
Anonymous
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I would give him some grace for now. Not all husbands are great with kids or have a natural ability to parent. Not all mothers are either, but more mothers are just because of our nature as women and the child bearer.
A husband that was good with his kids pre-covid, might have only had to pull it together and parent for 1-2 hrs in the evening after work. Now we are all around and parenting out children 24/7. Not everyone is able to adapt quickly or well to that, especially if it was far from their normal life/expections. Now excusing his poor behavior and parenting, but I wouldn't split up your family over it- yet. Give it another year and hopefully life will resume some normal schedule where everyone has their own time and space away from one another (kids in school, parents at work). |
Anonymous
As before, that means PPs statement *doesn’t apply to you*. |
Anonymous
The PP said “Literally every single woman I know does way, way more” which means she does think it applies to him. |
Anonymous
DP, but I want to respond to the 50 hour a week male, because that is my husband, except I do the finances and also work a 40 hour a week professional job and have 3 kids, although all younger than yours. The supermarket shopping probably also involves meal planning. If she is doing dentist appointments, she is also probably doing the doctor appointments too. Who buys the kids clothes and does the laundry? Who helps the kids buy other things they need, like toiletries, medicine, new sheets, etc. Who buys the kids birthday presents and Christmas presents? Who plans the vacations and packs? School business, summer camp, activities, etc. Who has made sure the kid's grow up with manners, clean-up after themselves, and provides a shoulder for the kid's to cry on? Who tidies and cleans, possibly picking up after you? Obviously my situation isn't exactly the same, and I know my husband and possibly you consider some of those things above to be unnecessary or perhaps easy to do. But, I just wanted to point it out because you asked and the fact you don't know speaks volumes. |
Anonymous
| 2 divorces in my neighborhood during COVID. |
Anonymous
NP. Um, no, not unless she knows him. |
Anonymous
| My spouse has sucked a bit more often during Covid. That's a good thing. |