Has anyone else realized their spouse sucks during Covid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:C’mon y’all it’s 2020.
Ain’t no ordinance stating that all women gotta cook and clean and do laundry etc no more.
That shit been gone.
If you ain’t want that RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING workload and you find yourself stuck in that type of situation with your husband then that’s on YOU
Cause your ass should’ve nipped it in the bud off the break.
Y’all could have been said, “Help out honey” YEARS AGO but you either didn’t say anything (totally inconceivable for a woman, I know) or you just whined and complained but you never really put your foot down (far more likely scenario)

That’s on you ladies.
It’s your man - they don’t come perfect you got to mold em.

The arrogance of this. You really cant change men. You can leave em, and that's maybe a mistake these women made, but you cant change em.

You should know that by now.

She's not suggesting changing it, but working with the differences rather than against them.

No she's certainly not.
"they don’t come perfect you got to mold em."

The same way you "mold" expectations in any relationship

She was talking about molding a person, which you cant do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DW and realized I'm the worse spouse. DH is 99 percent of time time calm as a cucumber, and I'm irritated as hell. I try to manage the irritation, but I'm only 90 percent successful.

Don’t conflate “calm as a cucumber” with Mr. I Don’t Care About Anything or Anyone Other than Work.
Making no decisions and taking no responsibilities in the home front is not a cool dude cucumber. It’s a ManChild.

NP - My DH is cool as a cucumber but does 50-60% of things around the house. But because they are calm doesn’t mean they don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When Wuhan opened after the pandemic peaked there, guess what? There was a run on the divorce office.

I will do the same next spring, regardless of vaccine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

Swapping what? Kids? Masks? Dirty dishes?

Swapping spouse? Swing? That sounds fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has always helped me but to be honest it happened when I got seriously sick. I think it scared him. Since then he tries to do everything to help. Cooks, cleans, takes care of the pets, grocery shops. You name it he does it. It may not be how I would do it but it gets done. I am so grateful too.

I agree with one of the posters. Men can't read minds like we women can. You have to ask for specific help. They don't think like we do. They need help too.

Not disparaging men at all. They just don't see things the way women do. I could not do my husband's job so I don't expect him to know how to do mine.

My husband and I both work. Neither of us could do the other’s paid job.

It is our joint responsibility to run the household and I expect him as my life partner to see what needs to be done, and to do more than “help”.

DP, exactly.

[Anonymous]

of course you should wait until things go back to normal. Everyone is stressed out right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping childcare with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

whoops, I forgot a word! it’s fixed now.

[Anonymous]

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has always helped me but to be honest it happened when I got seriously sick. I think it scared him. Since then he tries to do everything to help. Cooks, cleans, takes care of the pets, grocery shops. You name it he does it. It may not be how I would do it but it gets done. I am so grateful too.

I agree with one of the posters. Men can't read minds like we women can. You have to ask for specific help. They don't think like we do. They need help too.

Not disparaging men at all. They just don't see things the way women do. I could not do my husband's job so I don't expect him to know how to do mine.

My husband and I both work. Neither of us could do the other’s paid job.

It is our joint responsibility to run the household and I expect him as my life partner to see what needs to be done, and to do more than “help”.

DP, exactly.

DP and another +1. DH doesn’t do any chore, including make his own medical appointments, get the car serviced, etc without a million reminders from me. If any boss had to monitor his performance as closely as I do he’d be fired immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping childcare with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

whoops, I forgot a word! it’s fixed now.

That's hilarious. I thought you meant swapping partners, and I was like "who the hell has the time or energy for that now? And what do they do with the kdis? Are they just on zoom in the background?" This makes much more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

C’mon y’all it’s 2020.
Ain’t no ordinance stating that all women gotta cook and clean and do laundry etc no more.
That shit been gone.
If you ain’t want that RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING workload and you find yourself stuck in that type of situation with your husband then that’s on YOU
Cause your ass should’ve nipped it in the bud off the break.
Y’all could have been said, “Help out honey” YEARS AGO but you either didn’t say anything (totally inconceivable for a woman, I know) or you just whined and complained but you never really put your foot down (far more likely scenario)

That’s on you ladies.
It’s your man - they don’t come perfect you got to mold em.

WTF?

I loved it! 😆❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Opposite. I have realized how absolutely amazing he is. He says the same about me. I don't think I would have survived COVID with any other family. Also have great kids with an awesome sense of humor. The things my kids say make DH and I laugh so much that our bellies ache. I am counting all my blessings. I am sure we are not envy-worthy to people who are looking at us from the outside. That is another blessing. We are flying beneath the radar of jealousy and envy.

Aren't you great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to say to any males who are reading threads here: do your share of housework and childcare! Literally every single woman I know does way, way more.

I just want to say STFU. I have always done more than my share of housework and childcare, and I don’t need any shrill hectoring from you.

DP, then it doesn't apply to you. But it sure seems to have struck a chord so maybe you don't do as much as you think.

It doesn't apply to a lot of men. STFU is an appropriate response to your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:of course you should wait until things go back to normal. Everyone is stressed out right now.

When will that be??? I’ve been telling myself that for months!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:spouse and I recently started swapping childcare with a couple friend of ours during COVID and it’s helped, a lot! Is that something you could explore?

whoops, I forgot a word! it’s fixed now.

lol. i thought you were talking about swinging.