I want to be Mormon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Mormon friend says they're nicest to non-Mormons but don't care to help out fellow Mormons.

The church used to lease an apartment in a building next door to my house for their missionaries. They had a habit of using the dumpster for a different small apartment house for their trash until the owner there padlocked the dumpster. He and his handyman were perusing the dumpster one evening, found a lot of pizza boxes plus letters from the Mormon who was overseeing their mission work, advice about what kind of ties to wear (not too loud or garish), how to talk to people, etc. They would stop by sometimes when we were outside around our fire pit and visit. They didn't push conversion when I told them I was UU. We discussed sci fi a lot--a lot of sci fi writers are Mormons. Which makes sense given their goofy theology. If I were going to be a Mormon it would probably be BECAUSE of the goofy theology.

Also they used to do PSA ads about kindness and families and stuff that I thought were very lovely and well done.

What's funny is (and I know a lot of Mormons, including family) I picked up the first book in the Twilight series, read a little bit, and then told my friend "you can just tell this was written by a Mormon." And bingo, I was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They all seem rich too. Or at least affluent (upper middle class +).

They all help one another move up. There is an emphasis on education and being a provider (for the men, the women just stay home and get pregnant and uphold the "perfect family" image).

And BYU is a pretty decent school as well.

Cheap, too. Tuition is like 5,000 dollars a year if you belong to the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They all seem rich too. Or at least affluent (upper middle class +).

They all help one another move up. There is an emphasis on education and being a provider (for the men, the women just stay home and get pregnant and uphold the "perfect family" image).

And BYU is a pretty decent school as well.

Cheap, too. Tuition is like 5,000 dollars a year if you belong to the church.

My mom's whole family went there (6 kids). Good thing they got in there since they couldn't afford to send them all elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I don't mean to bash the entire religion, but yes they're nice, friendly, etc. But if you don't fit in the mold, such as being gay, not getting married in your 20's, are a highly educated and opinionated woman, things may not be quite as easy for you because you are either purposely ignored or you don't have a peer group when you attend events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean to bash the entire religion, but yes they're nice, friendly, etc. But if you don't fit in the mold, such as being gay, not getting married in your 20's, are a highly educated and opinionated woman, things may not be quite as easy for you because you are either purposely ignored or you don't have a peer group when you attend events.

Or get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They all seem rich too. Or at least affluent (upper middle class +).

They all help one another move up. There is an emphasis on education and being a provider (for the men, the women just stay home and get pregnant and uphold the "perfect family" image).

And BYU is a pretty decent school as well.

Cheap, too. Tuition is like 5,000 dollars a year if you belong to the church.

Cheap tuition brings social mobility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same and we lived there for three years. The nicest people I have been met. I want my kids raised like them too, except I drink coffee and coke though.

You can drink coke, but not coffee or tea. It's hot drinks that are the problem.

Mormons can’t drink hot drinks?

Ugh. So much misinformation. Of course Mormons can drink hot drinks. They’re not supposed to drink caffeine. So, caffeine-free soda is okay. De-caf coffee is fine as is herbal tea.

No, you appear to have some misinformation.

The original word that Joseph Smith received from God was actually that Mormons were forbidden from "hot drinks" (that is the official phrase that was used--"hot drinks"). Over time, people interpreted this as coffee and tea.

Some Mormons did eventually chose to extend this to other caffeinated beverages, but many never did.

The official, explicit declaration from the church is that caffeinated soda is okay.

https://www.npr.org/2016/01/03/461843938/can-mormons-drink-coca-cola

Cheers!

so hot drinks - fine as long as it's not caffeinated (i.e. yes to hot chocolate, no to coffee. but isn't there caffeine in hot chocolate?!)....but caffeine is fine so long as it's in a cold drink (such as a Diet Coke)? All of the Mormons I know are obsessed with Diet Coke. They seriously think that God is fine with caffeine just as long as it's not in a hot drink? God really cares about that and makes that distinction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up non-Mormon in Utah. It was..rough, though I guess kids will seize on any difference, and that was mine. After I moved, the Mormons I’ve met outside Utah have mostly met your definition. Things in Utah feel way more icky and cultish.

I have heard there are big cultural differences between Utah/western Mormons and those from the coasts.

Yes, Utah Mormons can be quite sheltered. If you're a Mormon living in say, Washington, DC...you HAVE to interact with non-Mormons. You're not in the overwhelming majority. It's OK to interact with non-members, be friends with them, learn from them, be in the presence of *gasp* people drinking beers or swearing. In many areas of Utah, it's easy to get caught up in the LDS bubble where everyone believes what you do and you are never exposed to non-Mormon lifestyle choices so you think those things are bad and you get judgmental about them. That's how I see it, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Except I don’t believe in any of the Mormon beliefs. I am pretty liberal, go back and forth on the existence of God. But gosh, every single Mormon I know is so nice. Good looking. Eats healthy. I hate drinking and smoking and I’m kind of a prude and I love simple lives that center around family. LOVE the Mormon emphasis on family and just the general wholesome and “clean” vibe they give off. But I definitely can’t become Mormon bc I don’t believe in the actual religion part of it, haha. I wish there were like...Mormonism for non Mormons.

I know this probably doesn’t make sense. Does anyone else feel like this?

Quakers

Quakers are nice, they live simple lives. They have excellent family values. And you can be a Quaker without a lot of specific beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Okay everyone, go become Mormon already. What's stopping you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same and we lived there for three years. The nicest people I have been met. I want my kids raised like them too, except I drink coffee and coke though.

You can drink coke, but not coffee or tea. It's hot drinks that are the problem.

Mormons can’t drink hot drinks?

Ugh. So much misinformation. Of course Mormons can drink hot drinks. They’re not supposed to drink caffeine. So, caffeine-free soda is okay. De-caf coffee is fine as is herbal tea.

No, you appear to have some misinformation.

The original word that Joseph Smith received from God was actually that Mormons were forbidden from "hot drinks" (that is the official phrase that was used--"hot drinks"). Over time, people interpreted this as coffee and tea.

Some Mormons did eventually chose to extend this to other caffeinated beverages, but many never did.

The official, explicit declaration from the church is that caffeinated soda is okay.

https://www.npr.org/2016/01/03/461843938/can-mormons-drink-coca-cola

Cheers!

so hot drinks - fine as long as it's not caffeinated (i.e. yes to hot chocolate, no to coffee. but isn't there caffeine in hot chocolate?!)....but caffeine is fine so long as it's in a cold drink (such as a Diet Coke)? All of the Mormons I know are obsessed with Diet Coke. They seriously think that God is fine with caffeine just as long as it's not in a hot drink? God really cares about that and makes that distinction?

So like many other things in the religion it makes little sense but is a test of faith.

Iced coffee and iced tea are regarded as a no because they are hot drinks with ice added in.

Coke and Diet Coke are generally regarded as acceptable , though, especially since the church has
explicitly permitted them. Plus (see point below) they were not around in Joseph smiths time, so God could not have been talking about them.

I think hot cocoa is generally okay because the hot drinks was interpreted as “the hot drinks available in Joseph smiths time” which was tea and coffee and cocoa was not popular then. However I know some who won’t drink it because they think it’s like, a gateway to drinking coffee, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cult. I mean that literally. They’re nice, but it’s a cult.

THIS.

Nice but not really. Read more about what they do, the super weird secrecy, how sex is shamed and it's always the woman's fault. It's not a nice thing at all. It's a cult that will guilt and shame you into submission.

NP with questions for the Mormons on this thread (or former Mormons). I have read that Utah has one of the highest rates of plastic surgery and rates of depression medications among women. Do you find this to be true? If so, from an insider perspective, why do you think that is? (Outsiders will have their own theories.)

Yes, there is a lot of pressure to conform and look a certain way as a Mormon woman, hence the surgery (also to find a mate early). There is also a lot of pressure to not work for women and have lots of kids meaning families face a lot of financial stress because one earner (often a man in their 20s) is supporting a large family. That can lead to a lot of stress, anxiety and depression especially when the economy isn’t booming. A lot of Mormons would never admit it but they fight about money behind closed doors.

[Anonymous]

They have really good looking men. I think the religion is crazy so unfortunately it's not for me but damn they make some hot blonde haired, blue eyed, physically in-shape men!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up non-Mormon in Utah. It was..rough, though I guess kids will seize on any difference, and that was mine. After I moved, the Mormons I’ve met outside Utah have mostly met your definition. Things in Utah feel way more icky and cultish.

I have heard there are big cultural differences between Utah/western Mormons and those from the coasts.

Yes, Utah Mormons can be quite sheltered. If you're a Mormon living in say, Washington, DC...you HAVE to interact with non-Mormons. You're not in the overwhelming majority. It's OK to interact with non-members, be friends with them, learn from them, be in the presence of *gasp* people drinking beers or swearing. In many areas of Utah, it's easy to get caught up in the LDS bubble where everyone believes what you do and you are never exposed to non-Mormon lifestyle choices so you think those things are bad and you get judgmental about them. That's how I see it, at least.

This is true, I would also add that in Utah many Mormons have Mormon bosses and only or majority Mormon colleagues. No booze at the holiday party, no meetings at coffee shops, lots of talk about church in the workplace. Obviously to succeed elsewhere you have to adapt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt the same way, OP! I started following all these Mormon mommy bloggers. Ultimately I converted to Catholicism, the young practicing Catholics I know are also calm happy people, and I follow a bunch of social media Catholic moms too. But the Mormons really have something special.

Me too. Love Nicholeen Peck and all of those type people that focus on their family, but could never actually be Mormon. There actually are a lot of Mormon like people in the DMV. I'm pretty content here having those friends and still enjoying the diversity. Just wanted to give you a shout at that you aren't alone. Each religion has its strengths.