What do they expect people with infants/toddlers to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you would not hire a nanny if your kids are not school aged. All the more if you have two or more kids. Heck, I have one five year old and I am thinking of hiring a nanny.

Let them eat cake!

[Anonymous]

Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer childcare for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer childcare for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not all college students have the luxury of not working that your daughter has. Many have to work for rent, car payments, groceries etc.

Yes, exactly. I cant pay more than minimum wage. Min wage in PG county is 11.50 x 40 hours =460 plus taxes? so 500x4=2000/mo. I pay 240/week for my 2 year old including meals for a licensed in-home daycare provider who does arts n crafts, music, yoga, has a obstacle course/playground in her backyard. Even the super ritzy centers in PG like Montessori, Celebree, Goddard cost less than 1500/mo for a 2 year old.

Given the choice between an 8-400 schedule with a crazy 2 year old and doing groc checkout in a 2-10 shift- its not a hard decision.

Are those prices for real? They seem way too low even for the crappy parts of PGC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer childcare for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

It is illegal for workers to "dose kids" with Tylenol to hide fevers. Licensed daycares have pretty strict rules about this and will kick out parents who don't follow the illness policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

I was with you until this. This thread is full of people saying "I can't afford a nanny." Do you really think it's because we are all spending too much on vacations, house cleaners, enrichment classes, and meals out? Like at the level of $1000-1500/month, which is the day care to nanny differential? I can tell you the only thing on that list we consume is about $75/month on takeout. And I'll even be fully honest and admit to about $50/month on alcohol. So we could cut $125/month in discretionary spending...but where's the other 90% of the nanny money supposed to come from?

I suspect a lot of us can't cut down our modest wants and wind up with that kind of money left over. That's why day cares exist in the first place! Honestly, this is the same thing as saying "you wouldn't have credit card debt/you could own a house if you just cut the $5/day Starbucks habit" to people who are already brown bagging lunch and brewing coffee at home. Just not thoughtful at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

I was with you until this. This thread is full of people saying "I can't afford a nanny." Do you really think it's because we are all spending too much on vacations, house cleaners, enrichment classes, and meals out? Like at the level of $1000-1500/month, which is the day care to nanny differential? I can tell you the only thing on that list we consume is about $75/month on takeout. And I'll even be fully honest and admit to about $50/month on alcohol. So we could cut $125/month in discretionary spending...but where's the other 90% of the nanny money supposed to come from?

I suspect a lot of us can't cut down our modest wants and wind up with that kind of money left over. That's why day cares exist in the first place! Honestly, this is the same thing as saying "you wouldn't have credit card debt/you could own a house if you just cut the $5/day Starbucks habit" to people who are already brown bagging lunch and brewing coffee at home. Just not thoughtful at all.

"Most of DCUM" is the key part of number 3. Most of DCUM was pre-COVID paying for things like $250 for music classes, $400 a month for house cleaning, $75-100 dinner dates plus $20/hr babysitting and a couple thousand on vacations, plus savings to draw on in an emergency (like this one). Not everyone has this kind of margin, but many of us do now who didn't previously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

I was with you until this. This thread is full of people saying "I can't afford a nanny." Do you really think it's because we are all spending too much on vacations, house cleaners, enrichment classes, and meals out? Like at the level of $1000-1500/month, which is the day care to nanny differential? I can tell you the only thing on that list we consume is about $75/month on takeout. And I'll even be fully honest and admit to about $50/month on alcohol. So we could cut $125/month in discretionary spending...but where's the other 90% of the nanny money supposed to come from?

I suspect a lot of us can't cut down our modest wants and wind up with that kind of money left over. That's why day cares exist in the first place! Honestly, this is the same thing as saying "you wouldn't have credit card debt/you could own a house if you just cut the $5/day Starbucks habit" to people who are already brown bagging lunch and brewing coffee at home. Just not thoughtful at all.

"Most of DCUM" is the key part of number 3. Most of DCUM was pre-COVID paying for things like $250 for music classes, $400 a month for house cleaning, $75-100 dinner dates plus $20/hr babysitting and a couple thousand on vacations, plus savings to draw on in an emergency (like this one). Not everyone has this kind of margin, but many of us do now who didn't previously.

Read the room, though! Who's posting in THIS thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer childcare for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

It is illegal for workers to "dose kids" with Tylenol to hide fevers. Licensed daycares have pretty strict rules about this and will kick out parents who don't follow the illness policy.

Workers certainly don’t dose kids with Tylenol on the down low - but you really think parents don’t give a dose of Tylenol and send their kids off in the mornings, knowing they’ll get a call when it wears off in 4 hours but they need to get to work and finish some items first? Because this is, unfortunately, incredibly standard. Signed, a pediatrician who hears all too often “so she started with a fever around midnight... I gave some Motrin, she slept okay, then 6am she was fussy so I gave her some more... sent her to daycare (slightly guilty look now) because you know, the fever seemed gone and I thought she was probably just teething.... but then daycare called around 11 to say she was vomiting and had a fever of 102, so we just want her ears checked and stuff”

[Anonymous]

Hey asswipe, PP who hates daycare: we can afford a nanny, but want our kid to actually learn things and meet other kids, so we pay for an excellent daycare/preschool/whatever you want to call it.

So kindly STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer childcare for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.

It is illegal for workers to "dose kids" with Tylenol to hide fevers. Licensed daycares have pretty strict rules about this and will kick out parents who don't follow the illness policy.

Workers certainly don’t dose kids with Tylenol on the down low - but you really think parents don’t give a dose of Tylenol and send their kids off in the mornings, knowing they’ll get a call when it wears off in 4 hours but they need to get to work and finish some items first? Because this is, unfortunately, incredibly standard. Signed, a pediatrician who hears all too often “so she started with a fever around midnight... I gave some Motrin, she slept okay, then 6am she was fussy so I gave her some more... sent her to daycare (slightly guilty look now) because you know, the fever seemed gone and I thought she was probably just teething.... but then daycare called around 11 to say she was vomiting and had a fever of 102, so we just want her ears checked and stuff”

Teacher here. This is how I got the flu and strep last year, and how I fully expect to get COVID. You can see it in their eyes and their behavior when they have a masked fever, and when I have a hunch, they almost always have a fever again by lunch time and when I call, I get the “oh, dad is home with the flu today, so he’ll be in to pickup soon” type of response. Once, I even found that the parent had emailed me after dropoff to say that they were both home with fevers, so if the kid gets a fever, please call grandma. No one’s hours of productivity are worth more than the health of their child’s classmates and teachers, and in the case of flu or COVID, behavior like this can cost lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey asswipe, PP who hates daycare: we can afford a nanny, but want our kid to actually learn things and meet other kids, so we pay for an excellent daycare/preschool/whatever you want to call it.

So kindly STFU.

my god, I hope you’re a troll and aren’t actually involved in forming the social skills of any children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey asswipe, PP who hates daycare: we can afford a nanny, but want our kid to actually learn things and meet other kids, so we pay for an excellent daycare/preschool/whatever you want to call it.

So kindly STFU.

my god, I hope you’re a troll and aren’t actually involved in forming the social skills of any children

??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people I know have a relative caring for the children. Grandma, Grandpa or Aunts.

(OP here)

No relatives in the area. And bringing a grandparent isn't really an option. They're all too old to care for toddlers.

It's probably a good option for some. In our case, it would be less ideal. My spouse is a healthcare worker, so we'd want to find a childcare provider that is personally at low-risk if they became infected. Luckily, though, workplace transmission doesn't seem to a major problem, so my spouse can probably stay infection-free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you would not hire a nanny if your kids are not school aged. All the more if you have two or more kids. Heck, I have one five year old and I am thinking of hiring a nanny.

OP here.

As others already jumped on, a nanny is very expensive. At least, it is if you want to do it legally. We looked into that option when we had two infants, since infant daycare is absurd, too. But it was still considerably cheaper than a legal nanny.