Reply to What do they expect people with infants/toddlers to do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here are the hard truths no one wants to say - so I will:

1. Stop paying to hold your daycare slot. It's going to be a really, really long time before daycare feels safe and normal again. If you decide to go back before it is, there probably won't be a waitlist. And many of these centers will eventually close regardless of you continuing to pay, so all that money could be for nothing. Let it go. Stop feeling guilty. Free up the $ for a safer alternative.

2. Daycare is not safe right now. Or at least what we know at the moment tells us it's not safe. It's multiplying your exposure and a risk to you and anyone you then come in contact with. And if we're being really honest with ourselves, it's always been a risky environment from a disease perspective. Low-paid workers with limited sick time, dosing kids with Tylenol to hide fevers...

3. Daycare is the only option for pool of people who really, truly cannot afford private care. [b]But most of DCUM can afford a nanny, nanny share or other smaller childcare setting. It's just that we've all decided we would rather have vacations, enrichment classes, meals out, house cleaners and other supports. [/b]No problem with that, I was one of them. But now that you can't have any of those things, yes, you probably can afford to pay more for safer  for this limited period of time.

4. Your work doesn't care that you are having a hard time. They should care because it is 100% not your fault that a pandemic left you without childcare while also expected to perform at full capacity at your job. It's unfair. But they don't care. In this crap economy you are replaceable and your childless coworker is a lot more useful to them right now.[/quote]

I was with you until this. This thread is full of people saying "I can't afford a nanny." Do you really think it's because we are all spending too much on vacations, house cleaners, enrichment classes, and meals out? Like at the level of $1000-1500/month, which is the day care to nanny differential? I can tell you the only thing on that list we consume is about $75/month on takeout. And I'll even be fully honest and admit to about $50/month on alcohol. So we could cut $125/month in discretionary spending...but where's the other 90% of the nanny money supposed to come from?

I suspect a lot of us can't cut down our modest wants and wind up with that kind of money left over. That's why day cares exist in the first place! Honestly, this is the same thing as saying "you wouldn't have credit card debt/you could own a house if you just cut the $5/day Starbucks habit" to people who are already brown bagging lunch and brewing coffee at home. Just not thoughtful at all. [/quote]

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