How to handle this cabin situation....

[Anonymous]

You find a hotel nearby. You spend the day there, celebrate the danged 4th of July. Then leave dh and the kids there, if your kids want to stay, if not take them back home. Then you come back to the dmv for a few days of rest and blissfully relaxation! DH is blissfully happy at the pond. Win for all!

[Anonymous]

How do you get through this in normal years? Where does everyone sleep?

I would find this really tough any time, and would have definitely brought tents or something in prior years. Are there hammocks? Like what normally would you do every day?

Could you suggest renting an RV? Even a pop up? Like, honey, you love going there so much, what if we started camping? Why don't we rent a small RV this year and see how it goes and then we can think about buying an RV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
NOT HAPPENING.

You have the perfect excuse this year. It is much to risky with Covid-19 to be so close to so many people.

But honestly, I would never have agreed to going there with his family. Ever. And I love cabins in the woods, but not that much togetherness.

+100!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You find a hotel nearby. You spend the day there, celebrate the danged 4th of July. Then leave dh and the kids there, if your kids want to stay, if not take them back home. Then you come back to the dmv for a few days of rest and blissfully relaxation! DH is blissfully happy at the pond. Win for all!

It would be a win in normal times. Right now it's a recipe for the kids to come home with a virus. A few days of blissful aloneness for OP might not be worth the eventual results for her family as a whole.

OP, If DH is determined to go, send him solo. Spend those being slack with the kids, treating it as a holiday at home, whatever. Know you're avoiding the awful BIL. The "seriously off-color jokes" are a good excuse to let DH have his guy time with BIL and keep the kids home.

[Anonymous]

Rent an RV and go with him or just send him attend by himself. Send the kids if they want to go.

[Anonymous]

DH is giddy at the prospect of spending a holiday on his beloved pond.

Is he drunk?

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid DH will be really upset if I say we can't go, acquiesce, and then simmer with anger. The kids will pout. They're dying to see their cousins. Agh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a long weekend? Yes, you go because you love your husband and it is important to him. We have a camp
like this, too. Go for hikes, swim, go out on the lake in a cheap blow up if the cabin doesn’t have boats, and tent if you want. We have often stay at camp with several families. No tv. Just games, and being outside. Sometimes it can be people who are annoying, that’s life. That’s sharing a space. Plan an activity for just your immediate family each day, so you know you will get a break.

Well you are biased because you enjoy this type of thing. The OP does not. Why is it not the other way around. If her husband loves her, why doesn’t he offer to go alone. Or take the kids and let her stay at home.

I think this plan is insane in the middle of a pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

If you think a regular beach "vacation" in an oversized smelly house is bad - this is worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid DH will be really upset if I say we can't go, acquiesce, and then simmer with anger. The kids will pout. They're dying to see their cousins. Agh!

If you say no, the resentment will last for months and bubble up again every time you argue with DH. There will be years of fallout. You have to go, but make it more palatable for you. Get a tent and air mattress, bring lots of books, tell your DH that having your own space and activities will help you enjoy the trip as much as you know he's going to. It's not going to be fun, but something to make it through for the sake of your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid DH will be really upset if I say we can't go, acquiesce, and then simmer with anger. The kids will pout. They're dying to see their cousins. Agh!

If you say no, the resentment will last for months and bubble up again every time you argue with DH. There will be years of fallout. You have to go, but make it more palatable for you. Get a tent and air mattress, bring lots of books, tell your DH that having your own space and activities will help you enjoy the trip as much as you know he's going to. It's not going to be fun, but something to make it through for the sake of your marriage.

One more idea: Get a bird watching book and binoculars. It is your new hobby. It requires long, quiet walks by yourself or someone else who is ok being absolutely silent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid DH will be really upset if I say we can't go, acquiesce, and then simmer with anger. The kids will pout. They're dying to see their cousins. Agh!

If you say no, the resentment will last for months and bubble up again every time you argue with DH. There will be years of fallout. You have to go, but make it more palatable for you. Get a tent and air mattress, bring lots of books, tell your DH that having your own space and activities will help you enjoy the trip as much as you know he's going to. It's not going to be fun, but something to make it through for the sake of your marriage.

That's right op. Pretend the pandemic isn't happening and you and your family infect yourselves and then affect the rest of us. Your idiot husband will resent you if you don't. Idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid DH will be really upset if I say we can't go, acquiesce, and then simmer with anger. The kids will pout. They're dying to see their cousins. Agh!

If you say no, the resentment will last for months and bubble up again every time you argue with DH. There will be years of fallout. You have to go, but make it more palatable for you. Get a tent and air mattress, bring lots of books, tell your DH that having your own space and activities will help you enjoy the trip as much as you know he's going to. It's not going to be fun, but something to make it through for the sake of your marriage.

That's right op. Pretend the pandemic isn't happening and you and your family infect yourselves and then affect the rest of us. Your idiot husband will resent you if you don't. Idiots.

RE: the bold: I agree with this PP. It's amazing how many responses here have zero acknowledgement that this insane toilet-free, overcrowded cabin trips is going to take place when there will still be a pandemic going on. The posters who think that OP should suck it up and go, and take the kids too, just to prevent "years of fallout" from a childish, resentful DH, are all as nuts as the DH and the BIL in this story. If the OP's husband is so very self-centered and ignorant of the wider world's problem and his role in it -- wow, OP has much bigger issues than fearing his resentment. OP has a man-child who hasn't read the news or "doesn't believe in science."

OP, you and the kids STAY HOME. Your DH should stay home too. The pandemic actually gives you an ideal and very real reason to say no to every aspect of this, including any insane "compromise" to stay in some hotel nearby. Stay home, blame the virus and tell DH if he is going to resent you and the kids for not going, he can join you in couples counseling.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are the problem if, as you say, your DH wants to go, your kids want to go, but you're not willing to keep your complaining-self at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid DH will be really upset if I say we can't go, acquiesce, and then simmer with anger. The kids will pout. They're dying to see their cousins. Agh!

If you say no, the resentment will last for months and bubble up again every time you argue with DH. There will be years of fallout. You have to go, but make it more palatable for you. Get a tent and air mattress, bring lots of books, tell your DH that having your own space and activities will help you enjoy the trip as much as you know he's going to. It's not going to be fun, but something to make it through for the sake of your marriage.

That's right op. Pretend the pandemic isn't happening and you and your family infect yourselves and then affect the rest of us. Your idiot husband will resent you if you don't. Idiots.

RE: the bold: I agree with this PP. It's amazing how many responses here have zero acknowledgement that this insane toilet-free, overcrowded cabin trips is going to take place when there will still be a pandemic going on. The posters who think that OP should suck it up and go, and take the kids too, just to prevent "years of fallout" from a childish, resentful DH, are all as nuts as the DH and the BIL in this story. If the OP's husband is so very self-centered and ignorant of the wider world's problem and his role in it -- wow, OP has much bigger issues than fearing his resentment. OP has a man-child who hasn't read the news or "doesn't believe in science."

OP, you and the kids STAY HOME. Your DH should stay home too. The pandemic actually gives you an ideal and very real reason to say no to every aspect of this, including any insane "compromise" to stay in some hotel nearby. Stay home, blame the virus and tell DH if he is going to resent you and the kids for not going, he can join you in couples counseling.

+2