I’m not my husband’s babysitter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

no wonder 50% marriages fail

I have been happily married for 14 years and have two beautiful children. I have a great relationship with my ILs, and my husband gets along great with my family as well. My husband is a responsible, caring adult, and as such, he knows to call his mom on Mother's Day.

Part of the reason my marriage is successful is that neither my husband nor my ILs would ever dream to think of me as responsible for my husband's calendar or for all family dynamics.

I'm sorry you guys chose to date and marry someone who needs "prodding." I chose to marry a fully realized adult.

You didn't grow up with brother did you?

Not only do I have a brother, he's the youngest. When he was in college, we developed our sibling system of rotating joint gifts for birthdays and M Day/F Day. Everyone calls on their own. We do a family donation as our Christmas gift to each other. We are loving, connected, and fully realized adults.

Congratulations. Not everyone has that. And some people care more about how their mom feels than some sort of pride against helping facilitate a good birthday. Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

no wonder 50% marriages fail

I have been happily married for 14 years and have two beautiful children. I have a great relationship with my ILs, and my husband gets along great with my family as well. My husband is a responsible, caring adult, and as such, he knows to call his mom on Mother's Day.

Part of the reason my marriage is successful is that neither my husband nor my ILs would ever dream to think of me as responsible for my husband's calendar or for all family dynamics.

I'm sorry you guys chose to date and marry someone who needs "prodding." I chose to marry a fully realized adult.

You didn't grow up with brother did you?

Not only do I have a brother, he's the youngest. When he was in college, we developed our sibling system of rotating joint gifts for birthdays and M Day/F Day. Everyone calls on their own. We do a family donation as our Christmas gift to each other. We are loving, connected, and fully realized adults.

Congratulations. Not everyone has that. And some people care more about how their mom feels than some sort of pride against helping facilitate a good birthday. Everyone is different.

About their mom, sure. Siblings have leeway. But when you burden a woman who is herself a mother on Mother's Day because she has a vagina and therefore is responsible for your baby brother? THAT'S a problem.

[Anonymous]

Weird codependent issues where a sibling feels compelled to ensure their parents' happiness by controlling others' behavior while resenting sibling who didn't ask to be controlled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

no wonder 50% marriages fail

I have been happily married for 14 years and have two beautiful children. I have a great relationship with my ILs, and my husband gets along great with my family as well. My husband is a responsible, caring adult, and as such, he knows to call his mom on Mother's Day.

Part of the reason my marriage is successful is that neither my husband nor my ILs would ever dream to think of me as responsible for my husband's calendar or for all family dynamics.

I'm sorry you guys chose to date and marry someone who needs "prodding." I chose to marry a fully realized adult.

You didn't grow up with brother did you?

Not only do I have a brother, he's the youngest. When he was in college, we developed our sibling system of rotating joint gifts for birthdays and M Day/F Day. Everyone calls on their own. We do a family donation as our Christmas gift to each other. We are loving, connected, and fully realized adults.

Congratulations. Not everyone has that. And some people care more about how their mom feels than some sort of pride against helping facilitate a good birthday. Everyone is different.

About their mom, sure. Siblings have leeway. But when you burden a woman who is herself a mother on Mother's Day because she has a vagina and therefore is responsible for your baby brother? THAT'S a problem.

100% agree. SIL shouldn’t have reached out to her. She should have texted her brother if anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird codependent issues where a sibling feels compelled to ensure their parents' happiness by controlling others' behavior while resenting sibling who didn't ask to be controlled.

Nailed it!

[Anonymous]

Nice to know that I am not the only one who has a SIL who has seriously odd communication skills. She uses FB messenger to send me messages for her brother. Every single time I tell her to call or text him directly. She complains that DH does not answer his phone...well, yeah, maybe she should think about why!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text SIL to text your DH directly. My brothers need prodding sometimes and I would NEVER text their wives about it.

Nope. Your brothers are grown ass adults. They do not need female prodding. If they choose not to call their mom, that is their choice. Choices have consequences. Get a life, you are not in charge of your brothers.

Sorry, no. NP here and I’m not going to let my mother get hurt on mother’s day or her birthday because my college-aged brothers are selfish assholes. Yeah, I prod them and will continue to do so for my mom’s sake.

How overbearing and inappropriate. Your family is dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird codependent issues where a sibling feels compelled to ensure their parents' happiness by controlling others' behavior while resenting sibling who didn't ask to be controlled.

Nailed it!

Brilliant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

no wonder 50% marriages fail

I have been happily married for 14 years and have two beautiful children. I have a great relationship with my ILs, and my husband gets along great with my family as well. My husband is a responsible, caring adult, and as such, he knows to call his mom on Mother's Day.

Part of the reason my marriage is successful is that neither my husband nor my ILs would ever dream to think of me as responsible for my husband's calendar or for all family dynamics.

I'm sorry you guys chose to date and marry someone who needs "prodding." I chose to marry a fully realized adult.

You didn't grow up with brother did you?

I did. 4 of them. Only when I was younger and immature did I send prodding emails. We are all adults. If my sil sent me an email like this, I would 100% ignore it.

[Anonymous]

I just love this. Women are insane. They’d rather receive fake, forced love than accept the fact that maybe they don’t have as good a relationship with their son than they think. So the cycle continues:

Mom treats son like X. Son not close to mother. Mother has no idea her son isn’t that into her, thus never changes, because overbearing sister controls all emotions in the family and demands false love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just love this. Women are insane. They’d rather receive fake, forced love than accept the fact that maybe they don’t have as good a relationship with their son than they think. So the cycle continues:

Mom treats son like X. Son not close to mother. Mother has no idea her son isn’t that into her, thus never changes, because overbearing sister controls all emotions in the family and demands false love.

Which is why I hate mother's day. Wishing someone a happy mothers day or not, is neither love nor hate. Everything about it is fake and forced and sets people up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird codependent issues where a sibling feels compelled to ensure their parents' happiness by controlling others' behavior while resenting sibling who didn't ask to be controlled.

This is the real issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice to know that I am not the only one who has a SIL who has seriously odd communication skills. She uses FB messenger to send me messages for her brother. Every single time I tell her to call or text him directly. She complains that DH does not answer his phone...well, yeah, maybe she should think about why!!

You sound miserably mean. Not a good person. Be nice.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the SIL, she can talk to her brother if she wants. Just don't play this game.

They can talk to your husband or how about your MIL picks up the phone and talks to her son if she wants to. This passive aggressive nonsense needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

This mother has set up a really weird dynamic in the family. The MIL is telling the SIL to call her brother to tell him to call mom. That is really messed up.

The SIL is being manipulated and guilted by mom. None of this is healthy. Just take a massive step back from it.

The son/husband can organise his own life, I'm sure he realises it's Mothers Day and if he doesn't want to call that's on him. I mean the day is advertised everywhere, no one can claim they forgot.