I’m not my husband’s babysitter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text SIL to text your DH directly. My brothers need prodding sometimes and I would NEVER text their wives about it.

Nope. Your brothers are grown ass adults. They do not need female prodding. If they choose not to call their mom, that is their choice. Choices have consequences. Get a life, you are not in charge of your brothers.

I don’t disagree. But the way I look at it is it brings my mom a lot of joy to hear from her 3 kids and that’s more important to me.

[Anonymous]

To the Big Sister who Knows best:

I married a younger brother of a version of you. It is worth reflecting on when you will view your brothers as worthy of a respectful peer relationship. Men ten to check out from the domineering sister-mom dyad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you call his mom too?

Because his mom is not her mother. The first and foremost gesture should be from actual child to actual mother. Did I say Happy Mother's Day to my MIL during my husband's FT call with her? Of course. And if it got late in the day and I noticed he hadn't called her, I would do him a solid and say hey have you called her. But I would not call directly. That is not my direct responsibility.

You still call. I have always called my mil when she was alive.

No, not all of us call, nor do we need to.

[Anonymous]

Very late tonight you should reply. "Sorry Larla, just noticed your text. I was enjoying mothers day and not on my phone. Not sure if DH called or not but I guess it's too late tonight if he didn't. Maybe try texting him next time you'd like him to do something. Hope you enjoyed mothers day!"

[Anonymous]

I'd text back "Haven't seen him all day. You should probably remind him directly just in case I don't get the chance."

[Anonymous]

Wow, such losers all around in that family, but the most to blame is your husband, for not calling his mother before 5pm. I hope he treats YOU right, OP.

[Anonymous]

I just don't get why so many people here need to be so bitchy about this situation. Yes your husband should have remembered to call his mom by himself, but is it really so hard for you to just tell you husband to call his mom. It literally takes 2 seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get why so many people here need to be so bitchy about this situation. Yes your husband should have remembered to call his mom by himself, but is it really so hard for you to just tell you husband to call his mom. It literally takes 2 seconds.

Because then it sets the expectation that you're going to remind him of these occasions going forward. And opens up the potential for blame - "I forgot my mom's birthday! Why didn't you remind me?!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

[Anonymous]

I agree your SIL shouldn't text you to pass along a message to her brother. Did the SIL also text your DH? Because I am a nice person and wouldn't want my MIL disappointed, I would tell DH that his sister is texting you and TO CALL HIS MOTHER!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

no wonder 50% marriages fail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Karyn, I’m looping Brad in to this text chain so you two can communicate about this directly. As you know, I am not his secretary, so he is in charge of his own tasks and calendar. I’m going back to enjoying my Mother’s Day now.

This is really rude. First sentence is sufficient.

What is rude is an adult woman reaching out to another adult woman on Mother's Day--a day during which SHE should be relaxing--to prompt her to act like a secretary or a family therapist, instead of reaching out to her own damn brother directly. If SIL wants to be the bossy type, she can damn well pick up the phone and boss her own brother around to call his own mother.

Leave the other woman--who should be relaxing on Mother's Day herself--out of it.

I ain't his secretary, I ain't his family therapist. Do not try to put me in that role. THAT is rude.

no wonder 50% marriages fail

Because of husbands who don't pull their weight? Totally agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Wow! You should definitely let Mike know how disappointed your mom is! His number is 703-555-1212."

perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Wow! You should definitely let Mike know how disappointed your mom is! His number is 703-555-1212."

This!!!

That shallow passive-aggressive bit*h stuff does more harm.

DP. There is literally no reason to involve her brother's wife unless the sister does not have his number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text SIL to text your DH directly. My brothers need prodding sometimes and I would NEVER text their wives about it.

Nope. Your brothers are grown ass adults. They do not need female prodding. If they choose not to call their mom, that is their choice. Choices have consequences. Get a life, you are not in charge of your brothers.

Sorry, no. NP here and I’m not going to let my mother get hurt on mother’s day or her birthday because my college-aged brothers are selfish assholes. Yeah, I prod them and will continue to do so for my mom’s sake.

You can go ahead and prod your brothers, but please leave their significant others alone.

My brothers are 19.

Yes, and I don't think anyone expects this dynamic to change much in the next 5-10 years, especially with this as a start.