If you grew up UC or UMC and don't make enough money to live that way as an adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do some serious therapy and soul searching before having kids. I grew up LMC and can assure you life is worth living, even without horses and fancy vacations. That being said, a mentally healthy and happy parent is super important. So if you’re going to have issues, figure out how to handle that before kids.

THIS X 1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Problem of the third generation, as brains pass through the mother. Smart ugly grandparents make it rich. Their smart & wealthy son marries pretty but average IQ girl. Third generation spends Dad's inheritance with Mom's IQ.

Most of you lamenting are third generation, with fourth generation kids. Sorry. Have your sons go for the smart girl.

Ha. I don’t think it’s that simple.

- Signed, a pretty mom of average intelligence with two daughters who are brilliant like their dad

Simple people post here

My dad is an engineer, my mom never worked, she did have a dressmaker qualification.
We all did fine even though we didn't grow up wealthy. Reason for that is their squandering and irresponsible lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up as lower middle class, middle class, and slightly upper middle class at various points in my life. We went to some bad public schools and still managed to get into good colleges. I did my undergrad at UC Berkeley and attained a professional degree from UCSF while my sister went to UC Davis and got her PhD at Harvard. I know for my kids I’m trying to get them into good public or charter schools, but I’m not freaking out about private school. For what it is worth, my husband makes more money than me and he just got his bachelors from Sacramento State College. There’s a lot more to succeeding in life than going to a prestigious high school and college.

My husband, raised LMC, went to a small college I had never heard of before meeting him. He is one of the top experts in his field. He had no connections or ease of entry into his field. He is self made, owns his own company and paid for every penny of college without debt. We live a UMC life with UC money and net worth. He still identifies more with his frugal roots, which I respect. He has been asked to join the local country club several times, has politely declined each time and never will. It’s not who is or how he wants to spend money. Me, on the other hand, grew up UMC and was spoiled. I enjoy going to the county club with our friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Problem of the third generation, as brains pass through the mother. Smart ugly grandparents make it rich. Their smart & wealthy son marries pretty but average IQ girl. Third generation spends Dad's inheritance with Mom's IQ.

Most of you lamenting are third generation, with fourth generation kids. Sorry. Have your sons go for the smart girl.

Your assumptions are wildly out of date. Men used to marry their secretaries, now they marry fellow lawyers and doctors who then go on to become SAHMs. It's called assertive mating. Smart men don't chose dumb women for their (first) wives anymore.

Bingo. It’s called assortive mating and exactly what has kept DH and I in the UMC. We each had professional class parents on both sides. We both attended top schools and are a dual income big law and finance household. While we have been blessed with many advantages and made sure to maximize these opportunities, a significant portion of our success comes down to luck. In particular, not graduating into a depression or choosing specialities that haven’t blown up (yet). We each were able to spend many years building professional resumes (prior to kids) without getting derailed by the economy. Not everyone is so fortunate. In addition, there are a finite number of these types of positions and the pie is shrinking by the year. Even for those that ostensibly check every box of (relative) success, we face an uncertain future in our respective fields.

+1 I also appreciated your post because you have nailed so many key factors in building/preserving wealth. Very astute. And I appreciate that you did work hard at the same time, and made good choices (like having kids after you had advanced in your careers.

That said, I do agree with the original PP about there being people who marry for looks rather than intelligence, and I do believe it’s men that do this more because they can.
Maybe not all smart men do this, but quite a few still do. And maybe their intelligence is inherited by their children (as attested to by another PP), but this isn’t a given. So PP’s theory may not universally apply but it still does happen and I’d believe that this would play a role in the poor decision-making skills of their offspring.

Love your post because it recognizes the luck that went into your hard work paying off.

[Anonymous]

Ok, the road to riches is assertive dating and marrying.
Those who grew up wealthy and ate not wealthy no can blame it on their wife or their mother

[Anonymous]

I grew up UMC then by the time I was about 12, just plain rich. My dad was the CEO of a huge company and we got to fly around in the corporate job, had a house with 8 bathrooms and an indoor pool, expensive private school, country club, the works.

DH and I have much more normal life. Two working parents, make good money but not CEO money, kids in public, nice but small house, community pool membership.

I'd say my kids are happier. My dad worked and traveled a TON and my kids have us both around a lot more (flex jobs, WFH a lot, always home for dinner). A lot of people in my parents' circle divorced and alcoholism is really rampant in that crowd. I think overall we are a happier family.